In the Lonely Hour
by Rocinante0808
Summary: Begins with the Missing Year and extends throughout Regina's story, filling in the blanks.
1. Chapter 1

In the Lonely Hour

First-timer. Nothing belongs to me except an old Ford and a cat named Larry. All feedback appreciated. Thanks!

*Set in the Enchanted Forest during the missing year.

Chapter One: Wounded Animal 

She didn't think she would ever grow accustom to sharing her castle with anyone. When Pan's curse washed over her, she expected to live out the rest of her life in the solitude of her misery, her life without Henry. However, here she was in what was once her castle, sharing it now with everyone from Snow to commoners from nearby villages. The elitist within her threatened to rise every time she ate dinner across from one of them.

Regina had to admit to herself that living in Storybrooke had mellowed her in many ways. She was not as temperamental as she had once been, and with the notion of making Henry proud still lingering within her, the previously unbearable had become bearable. For instance, sitting across from an ineptly named Prince Charming and a common thief during a meal would once have sent her into frenzy. In fact, moments like this brought to mind fleeting thoughts of the many ways she could kill them while not spilling her soup. However, cooler heads always seemed to prevail. She counted it as a daily miracle.

She simply wasn't happy, and while she knew that saving Henry had meant giving him up, Regina was not quite sure how to carry the weight of that grief. She often thought that in comparison, being a prisoner to King Leopold and the once insufferable Snow White was a day at the beach. At least now, she could come and go as she pleased, but with no hope of ever seeing her son again, what was freedom?

In the few days since they had been back she had come to accept that her sanity rested ironically upon current and former enemies. This Wicked Witch presented her with someone to hate, someone to occupy her mind, and someone to plot against. Snow, on the other hand, was ever-present and concerned. Though annoying, Snow was also the strongest connection to Henry that Regina had left. Regina spent most of her time alone, whether in her chambers or in the library. Snow would often seek her out, eventually learning that the Queen preferred silence to chitchat or hope speeches. Regina had given up on the biting comebacks and insults in those moments, knowing that Snow would only stay longer and take those strikes as signs of some kind of emotional turmoil. However true it may have been, Regina didn't want to elongate the visits by any means, so she just accepted that Snow would check on her from time to time.

However, those standards certainly did not extend to anyone else in the castle. Everyone else was fair game for verbal assault. Today was no different, and the meal she was sharing with Snow, Charming, and the rest was becoming more and more excruciating with every syllable. Regina sat at the end of the table with her head resting in her hand as if nursing a headache, staring at her company simply wondering how she had ended up here with these people.

The Prince discussed possible strategies for finding the Wicked Witch between bites of his dinner, eliciting several eye-rolls from Regina's end of the table.

"There must be a way to track her," the thief chimed in. "She cannot vanish into thin air."

Regina cringed every time he spoke. He, more than most, seemed to drive home her archaic beliefs about separation of the classes. She listened, or failed in her attempts to ignore him, for as long as she could before striking, "Look. I'm sure that wherever it is that you come from and whatever it is that you hunt for your table can be tracked through the mud and taken down with a home-spun weapon, but this is a much more sophisticated prey. This witch is above your pay-grade, so I would suggest that you leave it to people who have experience with real enemies."

Regina could feel Snow's eyes glaring at her, disapproving of her statements, but Regina knew that the line between condescending banter and hurling fireballs across the table was thin today. At least condescension did not leave a lasting scar.

The thief quickly rebutted, "As I recall, I eluded you and your Black Knights more times than I believe you would like to discuss, so I would say that your opinion isn't as valid as you'd like everyone to believe, your Majesty." The bite to which he ended his sentence left Regina with a particular distaste for him, and without hesitation, Regina snapped, "This coming from a man who could not save his own wife, much less anyone else."

The knowledge she had gained from their excursion into the castle acted as a weapon in her arsenal. Before she could reveal the satisfied smirk rising on her face, Regina was struck by the quiet at the table. Now, Snow was not the only one glaring at her, and the thief excused himself from the table without another word, bowing out gracefully from their sparring match. Regina felt the urge to follow suit and retreat to somewhere away from the audience, but she knew that leaving would only make her appear remorseful. That is the last thing she wanted most of the people at this table to see.

As they all finished dinner, Snow followed Regina down the hall toward her chambers, and Regina knew that she was going to be patronizingly scolded for her words at the table.

As they made their way through the doors of Regina's chambers, Regina spouted, "I don't want to hear it, Snow. Just leave me be."

"Regina, you should not have spoken to him that way. We all understand that you need to arrogantly strut around the castle and demean anyone within five feet, but what you said to Robin was more than your incessant need to hear yourself talk. It was cruel."

Snow was not just irritated. She was angry, and it had been a long time since Regina had seen her angry. Though it somewhat caught her off guard, she wouldn't have shown it. Regina never turned around to even face Snow. She decided to let her say her piece, then go on about her evening.

"Regina! Do you hear me?" Still, Regina continued about rearranging her dressing table and pulling pins from her hair. "Regina, when we all came back here, I hoped that it would be a fresh start for all of us. In many ways, it is. We are all working together to find this witch, and we are all living here under the same roof without killing one another," Snow paused. "I just think that existing under the same roof isn't going to be enough for you. You have to make at least some effort. I'm not saying that you have to win person of the year around here, but I just want you to give yourself the chance to really have that fresh start." At this point, Snow knew she was being tuned out, but she couldn't help but add, "If someone had used Henry to cut you that deeply, then it would certainly have been the last words they uttered. I can't say I would blame you for that. I just think you owe Robin an apology. He is trying to help us. He is on your side too." With that, Snow left Regina to her rearranging.

Regina heard the door come to a close, and she was suddenly a bit uncomfortable being alone with her thoughts. As quickly as the thoughts rose, she tried to shove them away, but she had reluctantly heard Snow. Deep down, she knew Snow was right. Regina needed to win and arguments with this thief were particularly important to her to win, so she had used whatever was necessary. Now though, she regretted it. The question was how could she fix the mess she created without being friendly or, God forbid, outright apologizing? She was proud of the person she had become for Henry, but moments like this reminded her why being the Evil Queen was much easier than being Regina Mills.


	2. Chapter 2

In the Lonely Hour

First-timer. Nothing belongs to me except an old Ford and a cat named Larry. All feedback appreciated. Thanks!

*Set in the Enchanted Forest during the missing year.

Chapter Two: Wounded Animal- Part Two

Regina made her way to the library, as she had done every day since they arrived. She used the excuse of researching the Wicked Witch and Oz, but truly she had no desire to be around the others. After a few hours of not being able to focus on a single page, she decided to bite the bullet and send for the thief, which was yet another humbling experience in and of itself. You would think she would still command the same respect as before, but even having someone deliver a message these days meant she was subjected to eye rolls and heavy sighs. Regina had come to accept that, in her case, fear had equaled respect.

Days had passed since Regina's mishap with the thief. She attempted to avoid as many people as possible since then, and with the exception of Snow, she had succeeded. With dead end after dead end in terms of the Wicked Witch, the castle's inhabitants mostly ran about pretending to be busy. The few times Snow had dropped in on Regina, they had not spoken again about what transpired. Regina wasn't sure if Snow had given up on the idea of Regina making peace with the thief or if she knew that Regina would make amends on her own timetable. Either way, Regina was thankful to only have brief updates or the typical interrogation as their reasons for contact. She knew she would eventually see the thief, and she would inevitably need to say something. However, she was still against an outright apology. She only cared about it at all because of Snow's comparison to her losing Henry, so she would find a way to smooth things over but not at the expense of her dignity. She was, after all, still a queen, and he was still a common thief.

She sat for a while, lost in her thoughts while waiting for the thief to meet her in the library. Her mind drifted to Henry, and she wondered what he was doing in that very moment. Was he at school, walking through the city, or eating ice cream along with Emma? Again she felt the conflict within her as if it were tangible, as if it had become a presence that sat with her every day among these books. Had she any other option than joining the camaraderie, she would have eagerly sought out a place less quiet. She was relieved that he was safe, and she knew Emma would see to his happiness. But, there was a deep mourning that took place every time she thought of her son. Every second was steeped in sadness, and she felt jealous of Emma's role in the world she had created. It was too much, even for her, to digest in a moment. She sat until she could no longer stand the aloneness and quiet of the room. This thief was taking to long to show up, so she stomped from the room content to focus on her reignited rage toward his incompetence rather than think about Henry.

She found him sitting in one of the castle's many stairwells, watching on as his son ran from top to bottom. Regina could hear them before she saw them, the sound of the thief's counting as he timed his son's steps. Hearing the boy's laughter instantly softened her disposition, and she consciously lowered the scowl she intended for the thief.

"Run, run, run!" Robin chanted, reaching his arms out for the boy to leap over the last few steps. "I do think you'll be able to outrun just about anyone very soon, my boy."

"I would certainly place my bet on him," Regina added as she rounded the corner. She kept her eyes on Roland, refusing to acknowledge his father. Roland instantly scrambled toward Regina, beaming under the power of her compliment. She kneeled in order to be eye to eye with him, but he wrapped his arms around her neck so quickly that she was caught off balance and nearly tumbled to the floor. Their laughter intertwined in a natural way, and Robin watched in awe of his son's charm over the on they called the Evil Queen. As quickly as the moment had begun, it was over as Little John appeared in the same direction as Regina had only seconds before.

Before they knew it, the queen and the thief were alone, and the tension that had been diffused by the young boy rose tenfold. The heat behind her eyes gave him a clue as to the direction of the coming conversation.

"I sent for you earlier. Did that incompetent fool wander about all this time?" She snarled at him so harshly that the thief could barely stop himself from laughing at her arrogance.

"No. He found me," he said lightly, knowing his tone would only infuriate her more.

"So I should count this as yet another breakdown in your respect for royalty? Wasn't stealing enough?"

"I'd say it is more a lesson for you. Typically, people are not fond of being summoned, especially by someone who was more than capable of delivering the message herself." He knew that he was treading a very delicate line with her, but he had lost the will to care about not offending her majesty.

Regina bit back all of the thoughts circling her mind, and instead of letting them escape, she simply turned and said, "Follow me." She had reminded herself at least four times during their exchange that Roland needed this man to care for him; otherwise, Regina was not sure she could have let him live past any of their encounters. She was beginning to think he enjoyed angering her, and if that were true, she would certainly need to reevaluate her approach to the situation.

She strode down the corridors until she reached the library's doors. Surprisingly, he put up no fight to her invitation to the library.

"It is customary to reward loyalty in my kingdom, and the Council agreed that your help in securing this castle warranted a gift."

He knew she spoke with sincerity, but he could also hear a twinge of dissatisfaction with having to give the speech to him.

She made her way to the table where her books were strewn, and she reached behind the stacks to pull out a quiver of arrows. She awkwardly looked at them in her hands before shoving them into the distance between herself and the thief. As he made his way to the gift, she fidgeted her hands uncomfortably. He wondered if this show of gratitude was that difficult for her or if it was simply because it was a show of gratitude toward him. He took the arrows, and she could tell he did not quite understand the gift.

"Golden-tipped arrows," she stated plainly. "They have been enchanted and will never miss their mark." Her voice, though matter of fact, hinted at a bit of pride. He could tell that magic was a source of pride for her, and the inflections in her statement proved that.

"Thank you, your majesty." Regina had turned away from him and back to her books until he added, "Apology accepted."

She whirled around as if having been insulted.

"I do not recall any apologies being offered for anything, In fact, I am quite certain that I owe you nothing," she whipped.

He smiled, which only further riled her. "I would agree. You owe me nothing. You only behaved naturally, as any wounded animal would."

She was horrified. "I would watch your tongue if I were you, peasant."

He continued without breaking rhythm, "You were right when noted my hunting experience. You see, I have tracked my share of prey, and one thing is always true. Wounded animals, no matter their timid or audacious natural habits, always lash out."

She was caught off guard by his frankness, but it was the reminder of Henry that left her speechless.

He continued, "You owe me no apologies for behaving as any man, or woman for that matter, would if they had lost what you have. This gift, regardless of its intention, is greatly appreciated, your majesty."

He stared at her for a moment before turning and making his way out the door. Again, she was left alone to her thoughts. Regina sank into the chair, and she refused to let tears fall. She simply sat and forced herself to read of spells and Oz.


	3. Chapter 3

In the Lonely Hour

First-timer. Nothing belongs to me except an old Ford and a cat named Larry. All feedback appreciated. Thanks!

*Set in the Enchanted Forest during the missing year.

Chapter Three: Monochromatic

Snow studied the woman sitting across the table from her, careful not to be too obvious. Regina had not been herself for the past week. Silence had taken the place of her snarky comments and eye rolling. Of course, she did not want to talk about it, but Snow knew her well enough to know that something was wrong. Snow was accustomed to Regina being deep and reflective; it was in her nature to play her cards close to her chest. This silent treatment was different.

"Regina, you haven't touched your food. Aren't you hungry?"

Regina just stared ahead, ignoring that Snow had asked her any question. It wasn't that Snow was bothering her, but she knew that any answer would only solicit more questions as to why she had been off kilter lately. Regina was not ready to admit that Snow had been right about anything. She was certainly not prepared to tell her about how a fool of a thief had sparked even a moment of reflection on her part.

After Robin's comments to Regina, she wasn't certain what hurt more, his pity or her loss. He had looked at her as if she were weak, and if that were not enough, he had also been right about her. Snow's voice echoed in her mind long after Robin left her. _Regina, you have to find a way to be happy_. She didn't think it was ever going to be possible, and now, she was painfully aware of how she was perceived by everyone around her. They either hated her or felt sorry for her, and Regina was not sure which was worse.

She was lost in thought when a plate banged loudly on the floor near her and spooked her from her thoughts. A curly-haired boy made the effort to climb into the seat next to her, and in the process, his plate was lost in the shuffle. Regina grabbed his small hand and helped him readjust himself in the chair. She smiled for the first time in a week, and Snow couldn't help but breath a sigh of relief that someone had been able to draw Regina from her thoughts.

As Roland took over Regina's uneaten plate, his father caught sight of him with the Queen.

"Son, come along. You shouldn't invite yourself to a lady's table," he said as if imparting some kind of fatherly wisdom to the boy.

Regina shot the thief a look before addressing the boy, "Roland, it would by my honor to have such a brave and noble knight be my guest." Roland beamed and looked to his father for permission. Robin knew his powers of persuasion would be lost on the queen and his young knight, so he nodded in agreement.

Before he could turn to walk away, Snow jumped from her seat and said, "Actually, Robin, I was just finishing. You can take my seat if you'd like."

This time, it was Snow who was on the receiving end of a look from the queen, but it only made Snow even more enthusiastic to see Regina's hesitation. She watched from afar as the light started to come back into Regina's eyes.

The thief took a seat across from Regina, and he watched for a while as Regina and Roland became lost in conversation. They talked of knights and castles, and he thought of the son she lost. This Evil Queen seemed to have been quite the mother, and judging by the look on his son's face, she was quickly winning his son's heart as well.

This woman was an enigma to him. Every man and woman in the Enchanted Forest was afraid of her at one point in time. Stories were told of her tyrannical rule, and the bravest of heroes would have taken pause before taking her on. Yet, here she was contradicting every quality that had once warranted that reputation. Robin regretted how forthright he had spoken to her about her son. He had surprised even himself with the freedom he allowed himself in that moment of honesty. Her feathers had fallen, and her tough exterior had shown the signs of wear and tear. He was equally unprepared for how her response had affected him. Instead, Robin much preferred her current state. He was beginning to enjoy her smile.

As everyone began to finish their dinner and leave the hall, Regina and Roland continued in their own little world. People stirred around them, occasionally stopping to talk to Robin along the way. One of the Merry Men made his way over to their table and made conversation with Robin for a bit. They talked of patrols and internal rumblings among the Merry Men.

As he walked away, the Merry Man spouted to Robin, "You really should watch the company your boy keeps, Robin. Wouldn't want him passing poisoned apples out to the Merry Men, would you?"

Regina could tell that the man thought he was being funny, and before she could draw up a response of her own, Robin had stood to his feet and grabbed the man by the shirtsleeve.

"You would do well to remember your manners and show a bit of respect," Robin said with too much ferocity than the moment warranted. He quickly realized how emotional he had become and let the man's sleeve go. Likely out of surprise for Robin's outburst, the man apologized to Regina and quickly left the hall.

Robin was standing in front of Regina and Roland, clearly embarrassed. It wasn't often that Robin became over zealous as he just did, but nonetheless, he had reacted. Regina looked completely puzzled by Robin's response, but she turned back to Roland in order to avoid the awkwardness of the moment.

Soon, Roland was yawning, and Robin and Regina made their way down the hall. Regina waited until Roland was snuggled into his father's neck, fast asleep to share her thoughts.

In a hushed tone Regina started, "I did not need you to do that. I'm more than capable," but Robin cut her off.

"Believe me, I know. What was it? You didn't ask for assistance?"

"Exactly." Regina had to admit that she was a bit caught off guard that he remembered their first conversation that precisely, but then again, she had been fairly harsh with him. She continued, "I just mean that man was one of many. His opinion is like most in this castle. I'm unbothered by his or anyone's opinion of me." Robin wasn't sure he believed her, and if she were to be honest, neither was Regina.

"Besides, he may have had a point," she finished.

Robin stopped walking and stood to blatantly stare at her for a moment. He was certain that she had not meant to sound as vulnerable as her tone indicated.

"No. I don't think he did."

Regina looked away from his stare, and she tried to focus more on the little boy in his arms and less on how uncomfortable she felt under his gaze. It wasn't his gaze itself that made her uncomfortable, but how unsure she was of its meaning. He had answered her in the most matter-of-fact way, so it wasn't uncertainty in his voice. His stare cut through her. She felt as if the castle were simply no longer big enough to hide in.

As if reading her thoughts, Robin began again. "Your majesty, tell me. What better hands could my son be in? You are a queen, an incredibly powerful sorceress, and above all else, you are a mother. You have saved his life already once before, and I know you would again if the occasion presented itself," he paused and could see a sad smile begin to show on her face. "And, even if I despised you, which I don't, then I am quite certain that my son would fight his way into your presence. He seems to have taken a liking to you."

Regina didn't want to smile, not in that moment standing in front of Robin. She didn't want to be so pleased with what he said, but she couldn't help herself.

"I should get my boy to bed. Goodnight, your majesty."

Before he could turn, Regina closed the gap between them and placed a kiss into the curls atop Roland's head. Her face was suddenly very close to Robin's as she lifted her eyes to meet his. Her heart began to quicken, and she became suddenly nervous. Robin held her gaze until she turned away and toward her chambers.

She only made it a few feet away before she made a snap decision and turned again to him, "Regina. You can… I would prefer it if you would call me Regina."

Now it was Robin who's smirk betrayed him, satisfied with the invitation.

"Well then, goodnight, Regina."

With that, they both turned to retire themselves to their respective beds.


	4. Chapter 4

In the Lonely Hour

First-timer. Nothing belongs to me except an old Ford and a cat named Larry. All feedback appreciated. Thanks!

*Set in the Enchanted Forest during the missing year.

Chapter Four: Sum of Our Parts

Nearly a month had passed since Regina had relinquished the right for Robin to call her by her name. Something so small and a seemingly arrogant offer on her behalf had been taken as neither by the thief. He understood her better than she realized, and he knew that her gesture, perhaps spoken in a moment of weakness brought on by the adorable nature of his son, had been her way of evening the playing field. It was her way of acknowledging him, and he had been glad to be acknowledged.

Since that night, he had not been able to forget the feel of her breath on his cheek or the smell of her hair as she had bent in to kiss Roland's curls. When she would walk past him in the hall or come by to see Roland, he relived the moment he had been so close to her. Part of him reveled in his thoughts, but another part of him hated that he couldn't manage his compulsions better.

She had made it a habit of seeing Roland every day. Robin imagined it was just as much for her as it was for Roland, the latter of which would spend every waking moment with the Queen if he could. Robin couldn't blame his son, but again, he pushed those thoughts from his straying mind.

In this moment, he couldn't help but think of her considering he was certain his son had escaped the hall in favor of Regina's company. He set out from the breakfast table in search of his young son, but his thoughts were not of worry but of the company Roland was certainly keeping.

Robin understood Regina, and he felt that he might see her much more clearly than she could see herself. He knew she was hurting, and he knew what that felt like. He also knew that there was nothing that he could do to change that for her. Regina had lost something so delicately tied to her soul that it was as if a portion of her was missing. She existed only because she knew Henry would want her to try, and Robin suspected also because Regina cared more for Snow than she would admit. That love kept her going, and for Robin, this told him a great deal about the Queen.

In the Enchanted Forest, he heard many stories of the Evil Queen. He knew of the havoc she wreaked. He knew she had both seen and caused death in her lifetime, but since the moment he met her, Robin knew that was the person she had become. It wasn't who she truly was. What had struck him instantly about her was how beautiful she was, but how tortured she seemed to be. He had not known in that moment how correct he was, on either account.

Just a few nights after that initial meeting, he sat out by the fire alone. He was in his element, beside a campfire in the middle of the vast forest. He was lost in his thoughts, of flying monkeys and obstinate royalty, when Snow joined him. He was startled when she touched him on the shoulder.

"Milady, is everything alright?" Robin asked.

"Restless night, I suppose."

"I'd assume a sleeping curse would do that to a person," he quipped.

"Or traveling across realms," Snow half-heartedly laughed.

They both took a moment to take in the absurdity of their conversation, before Snow broke the silence. "She is much more than what people say she is, you know."

Robin was suddenly embarrassed that Snow felt the need to defend the Queen to him and equally embarrassed that he needed no explanation as to who the young woman was speaking of. "I meant no harm in what I said. I'm sorry if I offended either of you."

Snow laughed, which confused Robin a bit. "Robin, she is not exactly the easiest person to get to know or get along with in general, but I will always see her differently that everyone else. I knew her before…" she paused, "before life happened. She was one of the kindest and most beautiful people I had ever met. She saved my life. Did you know that?"

"Snow, you don't have to convince me. I'm sorry if something that I have said or done made you feel that way." He wasn't sure whether or not to share his thoughts on the matter of Regina or simply let the woman get her thoughts off her chest. He decided to just listen.

Snow ignored his comments, knowing that apologizing for his apology would only continue the cycle. She just needed to tell the story to someone. She needed to share Regina with someone. Though having only met him, she knew that Robin was a kind man who would both hear as well as listen. So, she recounted their story. Snow likely took much more responsibility for Regina than she should have, but it was in her nature, Robin assumed, to defend the people she loved. He listened intently, but he was more overwhelmed by the way in which Snow told the story than the words she was saying. She loved Regina, and that was clear.

"Robin, she became someone that she wasn't because of loss. In the land where we lived, Storybrooke, she started her journey back to that young woman who saved my life, and that was all because that hole that was left in her heart was filled by her son, Henry. I know she is brash…"

Robin interrupted her, "I hardly think refusing assistance is brash." He smiled.

"Well, I think she has always been a bit obstinate in that way," Snow admonished, joining him in his amusement. "I am not sure why I told you all of this. Regina would hurl fire at both of us if she knew."

"Your secret is safe with me," he smiled again, and Snow noticed that she could hear him smiling as he spoke. As she stood to return to her tent and her prince, Robin spoke up again, "For the record, it's clear that she is much more than a story. She is much too beautiful to be only a single note." Snow smiled, appreciative that someone would care to look beneath the surface.

Robin was pulled from his recollection as he neared the library. When Roland had gone missing this morning, he hadn't spent time worrying. He simply left the hall in route to where he knew Regina would be. From the open library door, the light poured into darkened hallway. He heard his son laughing, and he heard another sweet sound: Regina's laughter. Robin stood in the doorway for a moment, looking in on their world.

"Regina, why do people call you _your majesty_?"

"Well, I suppose because I am a queen. It is just a silly saying."

"Papa tells me stories about kings and queens at bedtime."

"Does he? Which is your favorite?" Regina asked, genuinely curious.

"The story about the queen with the heart made of puzzle pieces," Roland shared in the most matter of fact manner his four-year-old voice could manage.

"Can you tell it to me? What was this queen like?"

"Well, Papa says that this queen was the most beautiful in all the realms. She had hair as dark as midnight, and her eyes had flakes of the sun in them."

Regina had stopped fiddling with the books surrounding them, and she listened innocently.

Roland continued clearly having memorized the story word for word, which amused Regina considering he sounded so much like his father. "She was kind and fair, but she was sad too. Her heart was made of puzzle pieces, and Papa said they were all the colors of the rainbow. Some were pink and orange like the colors of the sunset, and some were shades of blue like the ocean or the sky."

"But, why was the queen sad? Her heart sounds very beautiful?"

Roland looked at Regina, amazed that she did not know the answer. He responded as if she should know, "Because the most important piece is missing! So, it made her very sad. She locked herself in a very tall tower, and she wouldn't let people visit her or see her kindness. She wouldn't share with them because she was missing her most important piece."

The picture was slowly coming into view for Regina.

"Where was it? The missing piece?"

"Just lost."

Regina asked, "Well, didn't she try to find it?"

"No. Papa says she is very afraid to look for it. So, she stays in her tower, but I don't think Papa remembers it right because queens are not afraid of anything."

"Oh, Roland," Regina paused, "Everyone can be afraid at times, even queens."

Roland looked at her surprised at first, then very reflective. He sat quietly for a moment before asking, "Even you?"

"Even me."

Robin had been a spectator for as long as he could handle, and he pushed the door open calling out to his son, "Boy. What did I tell you about wandering off without permission? I began to think a flying monkey had come and swooped you away."

Roland was instantly repentant, but he offered up his best defense, "Papa, I'm sorry. I wanted to see Regina."

Robin noticed the smile that graced Regina's lips at the boy's response.

"And, I told you that you can always come to see the queen, but…."

Roland interjected, reciting what was clearly a previous conversation between the father and son, "I have to ask first."

Regina's smile had widened, but she pretended to sort through the books on the table. Robin acknowledged her with a smile of his own before telling Roland it was time to leave the queen to her studies.

Roland ran to Regina, hugging her leg. She ruffled the curls atop his head and reminded him to ask before coming to visit. She smiled down at him, and Robin couldn't find a fault in the world with his son's logic in the moment.

The father and son turned toward the door, hand in hand. Regina turned as they reached the door.

"Roland?"

Both turned to face the queen.

"The queen. Did she have a name?" Regina asked.

The boy smiled, his father looking down at him.

"Her name was Regina. Just like you."

Robin wasn't sure which was more amusing, his son unknowingly spilling their secrets or the satisfied look on Regina's face.


	5. Chapter 5

In the Lonely Hour

First-timer. Nothing belongs to me except an old Ford and a cat named Larry. All feedback appreciated. Also, if you haven't already noticed, the titles of the chapters are song titles from Mary Lambert. Very Regina in the EF if you ask me. Thanks!

*Set in the Enchanted Forest during the missing year.

Chapter Five: Ribcage

She made her way back to her room, heels clicking violently against the stone floor. The steady rhythm tethering her to the present, completely lost in her anger, or was it sadness and tears. She was no longer capable of making a distinction between the two. She couldn't decide which would rear its ugly head first, but she was exhausted. The thoughts this castle provoked within her were as numerous as the stones it was made up of, both vast and heavy.

It was a continuous onslaught of emotion. Anger at the complete incompetence of the Council. More anger at having been forced back into this world, into this castle with these people. Mostly, anger at all the people who still saw her as the Evil Queen and a specific outlaw who thought it necessary to both antagonize the hell out of her as well as defend her against anyone else who saw fit to do the same. His hypocrisy. That is the root of her current anger.

It intermingled with something even more tangible though, her sadness. The waves came as if a moon was guiding their tides. It made it all unbearable in the moment.

It had been a month or so since her morning with Roland in the library. More than a month since Roland recounted his father's bedtime story to her.

She was almost flattered when she realized the origin of his queen. His description of this beautiful and kind queen; it had been a long time since anyone had complimented her in such a way. Maybe just as long since anyone had noticed either in her. Such traits had become something of a grand secret between mother and son. Beauty. Kindness. Those were things only her son could see in her—or so she thought—and now, he was gone. She blamed the unexpectedness of the compliments for the momentary flattery she felt under the thief's smile.

That moment seemed like a lifetime ago, however. Her flattery had become so muddled by the past month that those pleasantries had been overcome with anger for his judgment and pity.

Tall towers and secret kindness. Fear of finding what she was missing. It offended her to no end that he felt as if he knew her so well.

Things had changed. Since then, Snow's rounding belly became a thorn in and of itself. A constant throbbing pain for Regina. She knew it wasn't Snow's fault, but every time she saw her, lately, she was flooded with sadness. She was flooded with Henry. She had deteriorated to the point that her time with Roland had gradually lessened, which she felt guilty about. Just like Snow, her darkness was not Roland's fault. The motherhood swirling around her was simply overwhelming. More than the anger she felt, more than anything else, her sadness was drawing her into a dark place. It was a darkness that would not swallow everyone around her this time, but her alone. She was withdrawing again. Wishing her heart was not in her chest. Wishing she could learn to swim instead of drown. She sometimes felt she was being tortured by fate; she felt happiness only briefly, fleeting for the sake of fearing its loss. Happiness, for her, seemed to be only for the sake of making the loss and loneliness sting more harshly.

She reached her bedroom with a slam of the door behind her. Pacing across the floor, she recounted the afternoon's Council meeting. The smugness of the thief, the cutting comments of the dwarf, and Snow's siding with everyone except her. Regina was restless, and the thought of incinerating something briefly crossed her mind before realizing it was the thief that she wanted to incinerate.

"Saving your ass," he had responded.

This man. He exhausted her. He infuriated her. Being around him was like swimming upstream. Two steps forward, ten steps backward. More than the dwarf. More than Snow. This thief was currently hanging on the same level with her newly unveiled, devilishly green sister. She knew that she would eventually regret making any sort of peace, offering any sort of acknowledgement his way. It had not helped matters that Grumpy, who may be the only one in this castle who fits his name, was determined to throw her past in her face at every corner. Regina was tired of it all.

She sat on the edge of her bed, trying to still her own agitation. Breathing deeply, closing her eyes, and running her hand across her forehead. She lay back on the bed, warding off the exhaustion she can feel taking over her body. She fought it, knowing it wouldn't bring her peace, but eventually, she found it irresistible. She sleeps.

_She's young. Hair down her back. Staring at the walls of her castle, her prison. The room spins, and she feels disoriented before falling backward onto her bed. She hears her name being called by an unknown voice, but she knows its purpose. She remembers. The balcony is dark as she turns her head and stares out at the stars. Before she can take in the sight, she feels it. She feels the heat of his breath on her neck. She feels him roaming about her, not menacingly. Dutifully. She loses herself in the outside. She tries to forget whom she is when he visits. Suddenly, her eyes go dark. Her hand flies into his chest, fire escaping him. He is dead. Leopold is dead, blankly staring at her from his hunched position across the room. Her hands covered in blood and fire, she stares down horrified. Then, she hears it. "You're not a villain. You're my mom." Repeated, again and again. "You're not a villain. You're my mom." _

Regina opens her eyes, terrified but so accustom to these nightmares that one could hardly tell by looking at her. She looks around the room, realizing that her saving grace had been a knock at the door.

Snow lets herself into the room without waiting for an answer. Regina hazily sits up in her bed, not bothering with the formality of speaking. Snow made her way to the bed and sat beside Regina, whose anger had been overtaken by the stir of the nightmare.

Regina had come to believe that Snow's consideration for her was as necessary as breathing for Snow these days. Regina's eyes took a painful look at the bunched fabric surrounding Snow's belly before meeting her eyes.

"Some of the guards heard you. They said you were screaming, Regina. They were afraid to come in, so they sent for me." Snow was resolute, but she knew the likely outcome of this conversation. Snow knew Regina suffered with nightmares; it was something they shared in common, for much different reasons. However, this had never happened in the middle of the day, so no one had known of the queen's ailment before now. Maybe not even now since the guards were too afraid of Regina's reaction to open the door.

"I'm fine."

Snow studied her for a moment before acknowledging her answer with a shake of the head. She knew that asking if Regina wanted to talk about the nightmare was a lost cause. Regina fought the urge to tell her to leave, and as soon as Snow settled herself across the foot of the bed, Regina regretted her own consideration for the young woman.

"Well, since you're fine. You won't mind spending some time with me before dinner," Snow smiled. Knowing Regina was not fine in any sense of the word, she added with the acknowledgement of the real reason for her presence, "_For me_?"

Regina bowed her head in defeat and sat back, waiting for whatever distraction Snow had conjured up. Regina couldn't help but think back to times when Snow was a child, and she would perch herself much in the same way she is doing now, devoid the protruding belly of course. Had Regina not been so consumed with hating Snow then, she may have felt a bit nostalgic sitting here with her now in such a familiar position.

Snow rattled on about something Regina found meaningless. Dwarves who want to dig up areas of her courtyard? Charming's thoughts on the baby's room? Whether or not the crops would make this season? Regina didn't really care, but she was oddly thankful for the white noise. It clouded her mind enough to dull the sting of the constant stream of thoughts in her mind.

Snow suddenly shot to a sitting position midsentence, and before Regina could realize what was happening, Snow grabbed her hand and placed it over her stomach.

Regina's hand automatically went to recoil from the sensation of the child's movements, but Snow held tightly, knowing what Regina's reaction would likely be. Snow knew the pregnancy would be difficult for Regina, and though Charming insisted that she should refuse to acknowledge such selfishness on Regina's part, Snow felt much more sympathetic toward her than Charming ever could or would understand.

Snow smiled up at Regina, and though it took a moment, Regina returned a weary smile.

"I'm sorry, Snow," Regina forced out, "I am happy for you, really I am. It's just…."

But, Snow finished her sentence, "Henry," she paused with a weak smile of her own. "Regina, when I found out that I was pregnant, I was both elated and heartbroken. I would never have said that to anyone else, but I think you may understand why."

Regina kept her eyes fixed on the distant trees framed by the balcony.

Snow kept going despite the tears she saw welling up in Regina's eyes. Steady-voiced, she continued, "I feel guilty moving on with my life without Emma and Henry. I feel, sometimes, like I am betraying them with every moment of happiness. I'm a walking contradiction, Regina. I tell you to have hope and find happiness, but the truth is, there are moments where I think you are a much better mother than I will ever be."

Regina's eyes snapped back to Snow, who was fighting her own tears at this point. Regina reached for her hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

Snow composed herself as well as she could, and she took a dive into the deep-end of the conversation, knowingly pushing Regina.

"Regina, I know it's hard, but I saw you with Roland," she stopped for a moment to make sure Regina was willing to listen. "I saw the light start coming back into your eyes. I saw a bit of myself in you, then. We are the same, you with Roland and me with this baby. We allowed ourselves to begin to feel again, to shift. Like your soul was beginning to heal and realign."

Regina felt her face flush, and she was uncomfortable with the direction this conversation was going.

"He could never… I wasn't trying to replace Henry with anyone. No one could ever replace my son."

"Regina," now it was Snow who was reaching her hand out toward Regina, "That is my point. This new baby will never help me get back what I lost in Emma, all those years. But, it just might be able to help me heal. I just have to decide to let that happen without being weighed down by guilt. And, as hard as it is for even me to remember at times, being happy is what our children would want for us."

The two women sat in silence for a while. They could go around in circles arguing why the other shouldn't feel guilty and should embrace life, but they were satisfied sitting together as two grieving mothers. For the first time in a long time, Regina felt like she and Snow had something in common, something so basic to who they were that it was undeniable.

"So, how does it work? How do we keep living without that piece of ourselves?" Regina asked, thinking of Robin's story.

"Family," Snow replied.

Regina tried, not too convincingly, to stop the sad amusement in her mind from playing across her face. "Don't you get tired of this job you've taken up? Constantly running behind me, trying to convince me to believe your hope speeches?" Regina smiled. Regina stood, extending her hand to help a pregnant Snow to her feet.

"Well, the rejection and the sass, I could do without some days," Snow smiled accepting her hand. "But, I will never stop fighting for you, Regina. I want you to be happy. You _deserve_ to be happy, and I plan on wearing you down with my generally optimistic outlook on life," Snow said poking fun at herself a bit.

Both women laughed and left to join the others for dinner.

Though the darkness did not completely recede, Regina felt lighter. From that day forward, she didn't feel a pang of hurt at Snow's pregnancy, quite the opposite. She also vowed to make up for lost time with Roland, if he would have her.

Now, if only she could find the answer to Roland's father, then maybe this situation would genuinely take a turn for the better.

As they made their way down the hall, they passed Robin and a few of his Merry Men, and Regina suddenly remembered why she had been in such a foul mood earlier. Snow began to laugh before Regina could even roll an eye or spout a word of venom in his honor.

"What are you laughing about?"

"I'm laughing at the two of you. You're both ridiculous."

"We have settled into a relationship built on our mutual hate of one another."

Snow laughed even harder at her comment, and Regina gave her a look as if she had completely missed the punch line of the joke.

"Regina, I am fairly certain that Robin does not hate you. Quite the opposite, I think. As a matter of fact, I think he fancies you. You just may be too out of practice to realize it."

Snow heartily laughed at her own joke.

"I'm not going to dignify any of that with a response. You saw the way he spoke to me this afternoon. It was disgraceful."

"Some would call that flirting. When was the last time a man talked about your ass?" Snow whispered as they stepped closer to the crowds waiting for dinner.

"This coming from a woman who thinks getting caught in a net is a first date. Forgive me if I don't trust your judgment."

"Suit yourself, _your majesty_, but I'm right about this. It's all in the way he looks at you. Just watch. You'll see."

Regina felt so self-conscious after Snow's ridiculous comments. She felt even more insane in the few times that the thief caught her looking in his direction. This roller coaster was exhausting. She did her best to focus on how angry she was at him. Anger. Anger. Anger. She played the rhythm in her mind, trying to hold on to what felt more comfortable. Hate him. Hate him. Hate him.

Despite knowing an encounter was inevitable, Regina made her way to Robin's table to see Roland for a moment before sitting down to dinner.

"Roland?" she said sheepishly.

"Regina!" They boy almost vaulted from his seat at her voice.

"I was wondering if maybe you'd like to read together tomorrow morning. I have missed our stories very much."

After a permission-granting smile from his father, they boy gladly accepted.

After dinner, Regina raced back to her bedroom. She needed space and air. She needed to leave Snow's laughter and Robin's glances behind. She needed to remember why she was angry in the first place.

When she turned to find him standing in the doorway only moments later, she did her best not to seem surprised. In fact, she tried as best she could to detest him and his presence. Her face grew red, but not from anger. Snow had ruined any hope of that.

He just stood there, as if waiting to be invited in, and when he didn't leave after a few moments, Regina finally spat, "What do you want?"

"I wanted to make sure that you were alright."

He was bold. She had to give him that.

"I am fine. Why wouldn't I be?"

Robin looked at her, shooting her a knowing look that suggested he had heard from passersby of the commotion this afternoon.

"Well, I guess you think nightmares are what someone like me deserves, right? The Evil Queen should have to relive the death and torture she inflicted. Seems only fair." She was both dramatic and snide with her words, but it was mostly because she was embarrassed that this thief, that anyone knew her sleep was so fitful.

He sat quietly; ready to listen to whatever she could throw his way. He still stood right inside the door, but she came to meet him, stepping up to his face. Even she wasn't sure what possessed her in that moment to make such an offensive play. Possibly the need to regain control or the upper hand? Maybe it was his patience she was trying to test. Likely, it was Snow's theory she was testing. Regina wasn't altogether sure. She just knew her impulse was to stand toe-to-toe with him in the moment.

His movement stilled, his breath slowed, but his heart pounded in his chest. She glared at him, waiting for him to tell her that she deserved to spend her life chased by night terrors. He didn't. He just looked at her, not with pity or disgust. He just looked at her. It made her uneasy, his calm in the midst of her storm.

"Nothing to say, thief?"

It was Regina who lowered her eyes first, stepping away with almost as much vigor as she had come to him with. He remained controlled; he even seemed to soften more and more as the moments ticked by.

"What is it that you want? Why am I any of _your _concern," she said with her back to him.

At this point, her attention to him was shifting shape toward intrigue. _Why is he here?_ She thought, and even she was struck by how sad it was to be surprised by someone's concern for her.

"Regina, as I said, I just wanted to see that you were alright," he finished softly and with a nod.

He turned to leave, but she stopped him with an answer, "No. I'm not alright." Both were surprised, but it wasn't clear which was more surprised by her response. Her words lacked the cut, lacked the sting that she typically tried to infuse in them. She was deflated, defeated almost. She had reached an unexpected tipping point. Regina felt like she was leaping from the balcony, and she was not sure why she had stopped him or admitted such a thing to him. This man she despises so much. She supposed it was because he had been the only person, aside from Snow, who had asked.

"Everyone here, they either hate me or are afraid of me. The saddest part is that I can't blame them, but I can't change any of it."

Robin got the impression that she was talking to herself. It was as if he was not there at all, and she was offering her thoughts to the reflection of the mirror she was looking in. He stood there, still and quiet.

Not that it was the appropriate time to notice such things, but he was again struck by how beautiful she was. He could see her face in the reflection of the mirror, and a single tear trailed down her face. He took steps toward her until he was within arms length.

Regina could see him nearing her, his face clear in the reflection of the mirror. She had lost the will to care about crying in front of him.

He waited for her to lift her eyes to meet his reflection over her shoulder. He flashed a kind smile, and she was disarmed by it. No venom left, just raw standing in front of him. She realized without words that he neither hated her nor was afraid of her, and she felt an odd sensation of comfort.

"The woman who stands in front of me…" he reconsidered how much to say, "Regina, people have nothing to fear or hate in who you are. They just might not realize that you are not the Evil Queen that once roamed these halls, since…" he trailed off before picking up the thought again, "Since you keep up the guise."

Her teeth clenched, but before she could react, he continued, "Your past is in the past. I wouldn't have let my son fall so in love with you if I didn't believe that." Regina's face softened again at the mention of the boy. "I just meant that you still carry a harshness from time to time. From the way you look at people to the way you dress, I think it seems oddly familiar to many of the people here."

"What's wrong with the way I dress?" She asked, completely bypassing the rest of the comments.

Robin laughed, "Nothing. I just think, maybe, you could shed a bit of the harshness. That's all."

Now, Regina was laughing, but not because it was funny but because it was ridiculous. "Why in the hell would I change anything for anyone?" She turned to face him, a little surprised by how close he was to her.

"I simply meant," he followed calmly, "that maybe there is an easy way to remind people that you are not the person they knew from the Enchanted Forest. May I?" He asked reaching his hands outward to her.

She was perplexed, "May you what?" The look she shot him was of disbelief and insult. She wasn't sure what he was asking, but it appeared as if he was reaching to touch her.

"Milady, I may be a thief, but I am also a complete gentleman."

She eyed him for a moment before spouting, "Fine," in his general direction.

She was dressed in a long, black gown. The lines were straight, the neckline left very little to the imagination. Her cape lay long and heavy on her shoulders, coming to a close at her chest with a jeweled clasp. If she were honest, she would admit that she did wonder from time to time what Henry would think of her in these gowns. They did leave an impression, but since that had been the intended purpose, she hadn't worried much over it.

Robin watched her intently, not wanting to cross any line she may have formed. He reached for the clasp of the cape, situated a modest distance from her cleavage. He was invading her space, but not inappropriately.

His fingers trailed under the clasp. His intention wasn't to be sensual, quite the opposite actually, but Regina could feel the whispers of his touch on her skin. Her breath hitched, and a shiver trailed from the top of her head down well past his fingers. She prayed a silent prayer that he had not felt her tremble. She willed herself not to enjoy his touch, but she wasn't sure she could remember the last time she allowed a man to be this close to her.

He fumbled with the clasp, flashing a nervous smile at her. Regina thought to herself that she certainly prefers nervous Robin to his usual smirk and confidence. Eventually, the clasp released, and he ran his hands under the cape, across her shoulders to relieve her of the weight. If his hands on the clasp had made her shiver, she wasn't sure what happened to her as his hands glided across her shoulders.

The entire episode was only a moment, but to them both, not admitting it to one another of course, it seemed like an eternity. Something so simple had become this overblown, sensual experience.

"Regina, fear is a funny thing," he spoke, likely trying to cut the tension they both felt. "People fear most what they don't understand. If anything, you are certainly aloof, my queen." He smiled, pulling a pin from her hair.

_My queen._

She had to stop him. She was slowly losing herself in his closeness, in his voice. His hands moving at the back of her neck, but never taking his eyes off hers. One, two, three pins pulled from her hair and laid on her dressing table. Her hair fell from its perch, across the same shoulders that harbored lingering traces of his touch. He was still too close, and Regina suddenly felt like the room was much smaller. Maybe the world had grown much smaller, she thought. It was all in slow motion.

As he pulled the last pin from her hair, she released a breath she hadn't known she was holding in unison with the release from his touch. She wanted to look away from him, but she couldn't.

He looked at her with intensity; his nervousness had dissipated. There was nothing remaining but sheer confidence and allure.

Robin saw Regina.

For the first time in a long time, Regina was being seen as a woman, not a queen and certainly not the Evil Queen.

It was just a man looking at a woman.

A man looking at a woman with desire in his eyes.

He reached up, lost in the moment, and tucked one of the loose curls that had fallen into her face behind her ear.

"Truly the most beautiful in all the realms," he told her wistfully. She felt as if she were in the middle of a dream.

She turned her face slightly, almost leaning into his touch as it dawdled near her jaw.

Then, she caught a glimpse of something that snapped her from her daydream.

A lion tattoo.


	6. Chapter 6

In the Lonely Hour

First-timer. Nothing belongs to me except an old Ford and a cat named Larry. All feedback appreciated. Thanks!

*Set in the Enchanted Forest during the missing year. I take a few liberties with the timing. Specifically, I delay their trip to see Glinda and their casting of the Dark Curse.

Chapter Six: Latch

She felt more betrayed than she ever had before, by her own body no less. His thumb traced her jaw line, and she was betrayed by her senses. Heat surfaced, and a trance took over. Her mind told her to run, as if this man with this tattoo naturally summoned that urge within her, but her heart lulled her into enjoying the daydream a moment longer. A daydream of hope and happiness. His touch felt both foreign and familiar, like home for a long-journeyed sojourner.

She drew nearer to him, close enough to breathe him in. She fought the fear rising up within her, hands on his chest. The excruciatingly long moment between drawing near him and feeling his quickened breath on her lips was too long.

Robin dipped his head to meet her, his lips just brushing hers before the sensation of her touch was lost.

She pulled back, creating what felt like an ocean between them. The fear had taken over. She did what she had always done before. She ran, though not literally.

He was instantly mortified, thinking it had been him who crossed a line.

"Regina," he started. She knew he would apologize, so she stopped him before he could.

"Just go." There was no harshness in her voice. It was almost a whisper, and he couldn't see her face because she refused to look at him. He would have sworn, though, that she was fighting tears.

Instead of protesting for the sake of a further apology, he obliged. He left her there in her chambers, and as the door closed behind him, she felt a gust that seemed to also carry the momentary hope she had felt along with it.

"How is this possible? It cannot be. It must be some cruel joke," she wondered aloud. White-hot tears burned her eyes, but she refused to give into the emotion. She wasn't sure what exactly it was that she was feeling; she wouldn't have been able to describe it, not that she would have anyway if there were anyone there to listen. It was more than hopelessness; it was complete fear of hope. Hopelessness, for Regina, would have been recognizable. Hopelessness warranted no further action. It was the stopping point, and it was where she had become comfortable. If she had no hope, then she also couldn't be held accountable to it. She did not have to face the disappointment associated with hope in her life. This feeling, though, was different. For a moment, standing there with Robin, she had let herself drift into believing happiness was possible. A long-forgotten adventure with a fairy made an unexpected play into the present. She didn't want to believe this was possible, and she was sure that she would wake from a nightmare momentarily because what could be worse than fleeting hope given to the hopeless? It was a twist of the knife to her already aching heart.

She won the battle against her tears until a ghost caught her eye. She scanned the mirror, only now seeing the woman Robin had been so close to kissing. A ghost of her past. Her curls fell long past her shoulders, draped in the same way as he had left them. Without the heavy cape, she looked noticeably more delicate. Beneath the smudged make-up, she could see the girl she had once been. She couldn't remember a time when she had been untainted by life, but this image before her was as close as she had ever been. Young in both years and understanding, but still capable of believing in the power of love and hope.

Those notions had been ruined. They were ruined when Cora accepted the King's hand in marriage, and they were ruined the moment her mother killed Daniel. They were ruined the first time the King made his way to her chambers in the middle of the night. Most recently, they had been ruined by the loss of her son. Regina knew there were many things that she had chosen, and she couldn't refuse the misgivings people had about her. She _had_ become the Evil Queen. She killed and tortured. She had become the monster, but she also knew that a great deal had been taken from her. This girl's reflection in the mirror was the person who had lost everything she loved. It was the person who had longed for freedom, the one who craved love. This was not the person who embraced darkness because purity still lined her face. However, just as Regina hated herself at her darkest point, she hated this girl she saw in the mirror. She hated her weakness, and she hated her stupidity for believing in happiness and in a half-rate fairy's conjured tale of soul mates.

Regina was revolted by her own reflection. She was struck by how lost that young girl had become. Suddenly, the dark clothing that she wore burned her flesh, and she began to pull then tear at them in rage. Rip by rip she shed the darkness until she stood in front of the mirror almost completely bare. She fell to the floor having exhausted herself and settled in the middle of the room with the coolness of the stone the only thing to soothe her ache.

Sleep did not come to her that night. Her mind searched for an explanation to the cruel joke fate was clearly playing on her. She rifled through the story over and over again, but she was at a loss.

The next morning, Regina knew the group would gather to move forward with their plan to find Rumple. She also knew Robin would be going with them.

As sleep had eluded her the night before, Regina took special precautions to make sure Snow wouldn't be able to see the chap on her cheeks from wiping away tears. If she were honest though, the dark blue dress and her chosen long, loose curls reflected attention, not to Snow's opinion, but to another's. She felt embarrassed when she found herself thinking of how the blue in her dress mimicked the deep blue flakes in a certain outlaw's eyes.

As she walked down the hall to meet the others, whom she knew would be waiting for her, she thought of how to best handle the situation. She felt the need to apologize considering the thief had not done anything wrong. Regina knew what it felt like to be unwillingly devoured, but Robin's closeness to her had been anything but unwilling. She decided, though, that she would avoid it until she knew the answer. His honor wouldn't allow him to bring up such things in mixed company, and she doubted he would mention it unless another apology was attached to it. She just needed to figure all of this out before she could approach anything.

Their trek to Rumple's castle proved more difficult than expected, but aside from a couple of awkward moments of connected stares, Regina had been able to avoid Robin and stick by Snow the entire trip.

The uneventful nature of the trip, however, ended as soon as they arrived at Rumple's castle. Not only did they find who they were looking for, but also Regina's streak of avoiding Robin had ended in both an abrupt and irreverent manner. His arrow shot past her head, granted it had saved her arm, but she was none too pleased with his method. She spouted something about rivers and pinecones at him, but it was likely a combination of habit and startle. That is, at least, what she planned to blame it on if Snow brought it up.

Having found what they came for, they began their return home. The light was fading around them, but Regina insisted that they keep moving. Torches in hand, the group continued in the darkness. Regina could tell that Robin was growing closer and closer to she and Snow as night fell. She did not acknowledge it, and she hoped that Snow had not noticed at all. She knew what the young woman's response would be if she thought Robin was edging his way into Regina's presence. Regina had the fleeting thought that he wanted to be closer to them in case of trouble, which was needless considering her magic. His desire to protect was annoying at best; in fact, she found it almost condescending.

They made it back to the castle in the middle of the night. Everyone was fast asleep inside, and the group quietly retreated to their individual quarters.

Regina perched herself at her balcony, knowing sleep would either elude her again or be so fitful that she would wake the dead. She stared into the night, thinking pleasantly of Henry. It was the earliest part of the morning when something below caught her eye. Robin walked hand in hand with his son through the courtyard below her balcony. Though they were unaware of her presence, she watched them for a while. Robin fought off the sleepy haze of little to no sleep the night before while the boy played about the apple tree. It was clear that Roland pulled Robin from sleep, ready to play. Robin had obliged his son, and Regina was surprised at how much Robin smiled despite his clear lack of sleep.

The pinks and oranges of the sunrise reminded her of the story Roland shared with her. The queen with sun-flaked eyes and the colors of the sunrise splayed across her heart's pieces. She watched the father and son, and she couldn't help but smile along with them. The sound of their laughter drifted up the architecture of the castle, and it seemed to resound throughout her chambers. Happiness was available to others, and instead of resenting them, as she would have a few years before, she relished looking in on their world. Their happiness calmed her spirit and helped her to find much needed sleep as the sun greeted the rest of the castle.

She awoke in the middle of the day to a gentle knock at the door. It was Snow. Regina knew it had to be Snow. She became certain of this fact when the door opened without any invitation.

"Regina?"

Regina thought seriously about pretending to be asleep, but when she realized Snow brought along a tray of lunch, Regina changed her mind. Hunger won out.

"Thank you," Regina said as Snow placed the tray at the end of the chaise lounge.

"I thought you may be hungry after the trip. I came by earlier, but you were sleeping. I didn't want to wake you."

"Ironic considering you just did," Regina said playfully eyeing her. "I guess I was more tired than I realized." Regina thought of her restless night, but she didn't mention why she had been so tired to Snow. "Were you able to rest?"

"I haven't been up very long. This baby really takes it out of me," she laughed. "Charming brought me a tray similar to this one earlier." Snow smiled, content with Regina's conversation.

They sat trading wisdoms on how to find Glinda the Good, but Regina felt a nagging need to bring up Robin. She was caught off guard by her desire to take Snow into her confidence.

She had been a roller coaster, but after her outburst of self-loathing, she was just left to wonder how this man had found his way to her path. More than that, she wondered how she, the Evil Queen, found herself a breath away from kissing the famous outlaw, Robin Hood. It felt uncharacteristic for her to want to confide such a thing in Snow, but she began nonetheless. For the first time in a long time, she felt like confiding in someone would help.

"Snow? I want to talk to you about something," Regina awkwardly interrupted Snow. Regina tried her best to sound nonchalant, but she knew that neither of them could be. Regina was apprehensive, and Snow was jubilant.

Though she tried to downplay it, Snow responded with childlike enthusiasm, "Of course!" Regina knew moments like these were what Snow relished.

"I need you to promise me that you will not ask me a million questions. I also need you to promise me to not bring this up constantly." Regina was realizing how desperate she was to talk about this with someone considering neither of her requests would be met. A million questions would come, and Snow would verbally or nonverbally bring this up constantly.

"I promise," Snow smiled, and Regina wondered if she believed her own lie.

"Well," Regina hesitated, "Something happened yesterday. Do you remember when we first met Tinkerbelle in Neverland? Do you remember how she wasn't exactly excited to see me?"

"I remember," Snow answered reluctantly, afraid to break Regina's stride.

"Well, there was a reason for that. Isn't there always?"

Snow bowed her head; she didn't think she would ever grow accustom to seeing the Queen wear guilt so heavily, with every thought and every breath. It was ironic, if Snow had stopped to think about it, but she didn't. She gave Regina time to pick up her thought again.

"Tinkerbelle came to me once, long ago. It was after Daniel died." Regina realized that this story would include the awkward truth of her unhappiness with the King. "You know, never mind. This is ridiculous." Regina stood as if ready to leave the room, but these were her chambers. Where would she go?

"Regina, it's okay. Whatever it is, just tell me. We've seen so much of each other's lives; there is nothing you can say that will change anything."

"Snow, when I was married to your father…."

Snow interrupted her now, "You weren't happy. I know, Regina." Regina couldn't help but hear a bit of sadness in the young woman's voice, and she wondered whether it was Regina's story or her father's that brought it on. "So as I said, you can tell me anything."

Regina mustered a smile, sat down again, and continued, "Tinkerbelle, when we met she could see that I was not happy. She told me that she could help me find happiness, and I was foolish enough,"—or _desperate enough_, Regina thought—"to believe her."

She waited for Snow to react or respond, but Snow just looked at her with patient and kind eyes.

Regina trudged on, "She stole pixie dust, and she used it to find my soul mate."

At that revelation, Snow certainly reacted. Her face lit up a bit as if she had heard wonderful news.

"Oh don't get excited. It doesn't end well. We found him in a tavern across the kingdom, glowing a ridiculous green color. She left me there to go in to meet him, but…" Regina trailed off. "I never went inside."

"Regina, who was this man? Why didn't you go in?"

"I never saw his face, so I didn't know then who he was."

"I don't understand. You had a chance at happiness! Why didn't you go inside?"

Snow sounded so much like the child Regina had helped to raise. There was an eerie likeness about her questions that unnerved Regina. Snow had always been both inquisitive and naively hopeful, even as a child.

"There were plenty of reasons. I just couldn't." Regina bowed her head.

Snow thought for a moment, "Wait, you said that you _didn't _know _then_ who he was. And _now_? Regina, what happened yesterday?"

"The only recognizable trait that I noticed was a tattoo on his wrist." Regina hesitated yet again, knowing she was headed toward a minefield of questions and hope speeches. "A lion tattoo."

The pieces began to click into place for Snow, and she did her best to respond divulge of the surge of excitement she felt, "Robin."

Regina didn't look excited though; she looked pained. Snow thought again of what she said, "I just couldn't go in." In Snow's mind, this situation was a clear as day, but she knew that there was so much about her former stepmother that she would never fully understand. This realization, of Robin and his potential meaning in Regina's life, was not the moment of happiness that it would have been for most people.

"Oh Regina, this is a good thing." Snow reached out to touch Regina's hand. "This could be a second chance. It could be a life…"

"No. It won't be. Snow, how do you think this ends? I just march up and tell him that he is supposed to fall in love with the _Evil_ Queen? No. There is no magic strong enough."

"Regina, listen to me. I don't know what Tinkerbelle did or did not say, but it sounds like all she did was _find _your soul mate. That magic has nothing to do with falling in love. It is possible, you know, for someone to love you. Someone, long ago, taught me that love isn't _created_ by magic. It _is_ the strongest magic imaginable. It is stronger than anything, even our own self-doubt. I know you think that happiness isn't possible, but what if it is? What if fate isn't your enemy?"

"I didn't believe that fairy then, and I don't think that I can now. Besides, Henry…."

"Would want you to be happy. He would want you to grab at a chance if it presented itself to you. Who knows what this tattoo truly means, but shouldn't you at least find out?"

Regina was reluctant to give it legs, but she was curious.

"How did you figure this out? That he was the one with the tattoo?" Snow was pushing her luck, but she asked anyway.

"I… umm…" It wasn't very often that Snow saw the Queen falter with her words. "Robin came here to see if I was alright two nights ago. He… I mean we… I just saw it."

"Why do I feel like you are leaving out all of the good bits?" Snow teased. "Maybe you should try getting to know him. Really try, Regina. Is friendship too much to ask?"

Regina thought for a moment, not really wanting to make any agreements with Snow that she couldn't live up to. Snow stood and took the empty tray, knowing their conversation had come to an end. She was satisfied with how far she and Regina had come. This felt, natural. Sharing. Confiding. She was glad.

"Regina," Snow stopped at the doorway, "Do you know what Robin said to me once? Just a day or so after we met him, he was talking about how beautiful you are and about how he felt like he could see something in you that most people overlook. I think we have that in common, he and I." Snow let her words sink in. "I don't believe a tattoo will make him fall in love with you, Regina. I don't think he needs any sort of magic for that. Just give him a chance. Just give yourself a chance." Snow smiled and closed the door behind her.

At dinner that night, Snow kept her word. Not a single knowing glance or whispered comment made its way into their conversation. Regina felt lighter, somehow. Although she was still clueless as to how to proceed, she was glad to have shared the load with Snow.

As they exited the hall, Regina walked in the direction of the library. She wanted to find a book on the witches of Oz before bed, but she soon heard fast-paced steps trying to catch up with her. In the seclusion of the hall, Regina knew who was taking advantage of their moment alone, and her heart quickened in anticipation.

"Your majesty," Robin called out to her.

Regina stopped mid-stride; she supposed that there was no time like the present to break the lingering awkwardness.

"Your majesty, I just wanted to apologize for any line that I may have crossed a few nights ago. I vowed to you that I was a gentleman, but…" Robin was speaking faster than normal, and Regina wondered whether it was nervousness or whether he was trying to get the words out before she disappeared again.

Regina stopped him, "Robin, you have nothing to apologize for. Any line that may have been crossed, _we_ crossed together. So, your honor is still in tact," she said in a very queen-like voice.

She smiled, and she could see visible tension rise from his shoulders. "I'm still not sure how an outlaw acquired such a standard, but that's beside the point."

He flashed a smile of his own at her, but she could see something else searching in his eyes. It seemed like he was looking for validation, for proof that she held no ill will toward him.

"In fact, thief, I think we should be friends." She offered up her endorsement to him.

"Well, I would like that very much. No more flaming arrows?" Robin reached out his hand, waiting for her to seal their newfound friendship with a handshake. She looked down at his hand and went to reach for it, but then she stopped. She removed the glove she dawned on her hand and placed her newly bare hand in his.

"Friends," she said thinking of Snow.

Their hands lingered in their intertwined state a bit longer than was necessary, and Robin took steps back toward the dining hall, releasing her hand in the process.

"I suppose Roland and I will have the enjoyment of your company sometime tomorrow?"

"Roland will, but we will have to talk it over as to whether or not we invite you," she said winking at him.

_Friends_, she reminded herself.

Regina started again toward the library, not really remembering what her purpose had been.

_Did I just wink at him? Flirting with him? _Her cheeks burned with embarrassment at the thought.

Was flirting acceptable in this friendship? She hoped so, because she found it very easy. She may just enjoy this thief's friendship after all.


	7. Chapter 7

In the Lonely Hour

First-timer. Nothing belongs to me except an old Ford and a cat named Larry. All feedback appreciated. Thanks!

*Set in the Enchanted Forest during the missing year.

Chapter Seven: Stay With Me

"Do you think this will keep her out?" Robin asked eyeing the magic leaving the Queen's hands. The protection spell she was casting had been planned with careful consideration of the Wicked Witch's power.

As she finished, she looked over to him, "At least long enough for this ridiculous party they want to throw." A loose curl had made its way into her face, and in unison, they both reached to tuck it back into place.

He laughed, not holding back his amusement with her frustration or his clumsy attempt to right her tossed hair.

Once Regina had given Robin a chance, she found that she actually enjoyed his company. Though still a bit condescending in the protection department, she now allowed him, uninhibited, to join her on duties such as this protection spell. Initially, their friendship had revolved around spending time with Roland. Horseback riding here, picnics there. They formed fluidity to their days, but Regina also found herself relishing those tiny moments alone with Robin. He flirted with her unabashedly, and Regina, never one to refuse adoration, flirted along with him. She was enjoying his friendship.

"I told Snow that this was a terrible idea. In what world does it make sense to dance the night away when there is a evil, well _wicked_, witch on the loose?"

"Well, with your handiwork, surely we will not find ourselves with an extra guest." He smirked. The truth was, Robin understood Snow and Charming's motivation. These months had been very dark for all of them. They needed something to celebrate.

As they headed back into the castle, Robin listened as Regina shared memories—possibly the only good memories she possessed—of the castle grounds. He adored the sound of her voice when she talked like this. It was from another time; there was a freedom in her voice when she spoke. It especially pleased him, though, when she smiled all the way through. It was only recently that she had begun to lose herself in conversation like this. When she circled the conversation back around to the coming festivities, she told him of the last time she had danced.

"I rarely danced at any of the celebrations that the King threw, though." At the mention of the King, Robin saw Regina momentarily flush with sadness or hurt; he wasn't sure which. "I mostly watched the revelry," she rounded, forcing a smile.

"Well, my queen, tonight you should dance the entire night through if you like. We might as well take advantage of the party, especially if the Witch shows up and it is our last," he joked.

"Hey! That spell is going to work!" Regina playfully reached out and smacked him. "Besides, my dancing days are long over. I'm not even sure I will go."

The outlaw stopped dead in his tracks feigning insult, "That's a shame. I suppose my plan to persuade you to dance is now hopeless on multiple fronts."

"Dancing? With you," she smiled, "Do thieves know how to dance?"

He thought for a moment before stepping toward her, into her space. When he raised one hand to her waist and another to bring her hand into position, she knew that he was about to prove to her that thieves did in fact know how to dance. Here, in the middle of the courtyard where people busied about, and he wanted to dance with her.

She let out a small laugh, mostly to cover up the fact that his touch had taken her breath away. He gave her a serious look, admiring her almost, before he leapt to the side, carrying her along with him. He did his most awful impression of gentry dancing, leaping and twirling. Regina couldn't help but laugh at his caricature. Her smile only rivaled by his.

By the end of his spectacle, they were both laughing. He ran his hands down her arms to meet her hands. Smiling, he teased, "Well, I guess if you want to know, then you will have to show up tonight and allow me a true dance with you."

"An outlaw and a queen dancing. Now, that would be a sight."

Regina spent the rest of the day chasing Snow around the castle. It would seem that this celebration was giving life to the incessant qualities the Princess displayed their first go-around in this castle. Snow wanted everything to be perfect, and Regina found it ironic that she was working so hard to impress men and women who lived in hovels just inside the palace walls.

By the time people began to pour into the castle for the party, Regina was both annoyed as well as tired. She collapsed on the chaise-lounge, deciding that her mood was not exactly conducive to entertaining.

She heard the patter of little feet outside of her door, and then, she heard the shuffling of a much larger body.

As the door opened, Roland squeezed through the narrow opening. A hand attempted to grab him, but it was smashed in the door's frame in the process.

"Regina! Regina! It's time for the party!" His excitement rang in her ears.

She heard a hiss from the direction of the door, and soon, Little John poked his head just inside the door, clearly afraid to enter without permission. Regina snickered a bit that the grown man was so cautious, but this little bundle of energy before her was fearless in her presence. It was satisfying in numerous ways.

"Your majesty, please excuse our intrusion. I tried to catch the boy before he came in, but I was clearly not fast enough," Little John apologized, grabbing Roland's hand.

"Nonsense. Roland is free to come and go as he pleases. He knows that," she replied smiling down at the boy.

She walked over to Roland to sweep him gracefully off his feet. The boy giggled and squirmed as the Queen's fingers tickled about his ribs.

"Gina, I came to get you for the ball. Papa said that you were going to dance with me tonight."

_Well played, thief_.

"Well, I should probably get dressed then, shouldn't I? What color do you think for the occasion, Roland?"

Roland beamed under her attention, and soon, Little John excused himself from the Queen's chambers. Roland may be brave enough to linger, but he knew that his own lack of dimples and a sunny disposition would not win him the favor of the Queen as it had Roland.

"Red!"

"Red? Hmm… Well, we will have to see what I have in my wardrobe."

The boy rushed over to the ornate dresses and began to thumb through her selection. He carefully studied each dress, and Regina was struck by how much he looked like his father in that moment. She had seen that look in Robin's eye before. It was careful consideration, almost amazement. The difference was Roland was searching through a sea of color and jewels, but Robin had been looking directly at her.

"Regina, is this red?"

She laughed at the boy's question. "Of course it is, sweetheart. Is that the one you like?"

He nodded in agreement.

"Well, how about you run back down to see your Papa while I get ready. Then, I will come and meet you for the party?"

"Oh no, Gina. Papa says that Queens should be _excorted_ into the ball."

"Ahh, so I need an escort, do I? Well, how would _you_ like to be my escort?"

Roland's smile widened, though Regina hadn't known it was possible to make it any bigger than it already was. She loved making him happy. It reminded her, in a pleasant way, of Henry when he was about Roland's age.

"I think that if you are going to walk in with me, then we need to find something very special for you to wear too!"

She herself getting a bit excited about this party, now.

"Like Princess Cinderella and her pumpkins?"

"Exactly! But, I won't need pumpkins. I'm much better at magic than her _fairy godmother._" She hummed her response, loving the laughter between them.

"Okay, Roland. What is your favorite color?"

"Blue," he shouted.

"Blue it is then," she said as the boy disappeared into a plume of purple smoke. When he emerged, his eyes grew big as he took in his new clothing.

The dark and light blues of his new outfit played well off his head full of curls. Regina had been careful to create something fanciful, but also practical for the boy's rambunctious nature.

Roland spun around, looking in the mirror at his new suit. Honestly, he could have passed for a much cuter, younger version of Charming in the moment. The jacket and trim looked very akin to something she presumed Charming would wear tonight.

She didn't know why the sight made tears come to her eyes, but nonetheless, she was fighting them off watching Roland marvel.

He ran to her, arms out. "Thank you, Gina. I look like the prince from your book!"

"You look very handsome, Roland. Now, go see if you can find your Papa. I will come and find you as soon as I get changed."

The boy tightened his arms around Regina's neck before whispering, "I love you, Gina," into her ear, then running off to the door.

It did her heart good to know that another small soul in the world could see what no one else saw in her. Roland's words touched her, and she instantly thought of Henry. They were kindred spirits, she thought. If only, one day, they could meet.

She tried not to dwell long because she was sure that no amount of make-up could cover the tracks of tears if she did.

She went to her wardrobe and pulled the red dress Roland picked for her. It was beautiful; she had to admit. The deep red fabric flowed naturally as if it were the petals of a full-bloomed rose. The bodice was covered in flowers created by rubies, with small green emeralds to accent the leaves. The flowers trailed all the way down the back of the dress until they reached the floor, leaving the spectacular image of flowers falling down her back. While not as revealing as some of her dresses, it certainly put her beauty on full display.

She pulled the pins from her hair, thinking of a time when the outlaw had done the same. Her cheeks flushed at the thought. Her curls fell to her shoulders, and she felt content to simply let her hair be free for the night. Looking in the mirror, she was struck again by how much like her younger self she appeared to be, but this time, she felt more at home in her skin. Her heart was slowly meeting the image reflected in the mirror.

She raced down the hall, knowing Roland would be waiting for her. As she reached the door, he stood beside Little John. Roland stretched out his hand as she reached him, and he placed the sweetest, wettest kiss on her hand. Regina tried not to swoon too much at the sweetness of the child's gesture.

He looked up and said, "Papa said that gentlemen are suppose to greet beautiful ladies that way." He smiled again, and Regina melted.

She bent down to him and placed a kiss of her own on his cheek.

"Roland! You look so handsome," Snow called from behind them. "And Regina," she leaned in and kissed her cheek, "You look beautiful. Red suits you."

"I think everyone is waiting for us. Roland, is your father inside?" Snow asked.

The boy nodded in agreement, taking Regina's hand.

The entryway to the grand hall was covered in beautiful off-white lace and wild flowers. It obviously wasn't on par with previous regalia, but Regina had to concede its understated beauty. As the doors opened to reveal the long staircase leading down to the party, Regina could hear the sounds of a celebration in full-swing. There was laughter and chatter, and the folksy music being played held a light-hearted cheer to it. Roland held tightly to her hand, and Regina remembered that all of this might be a bit overwhelming for him. She gave him a reassuring squeeze, and they made their way down the steps.

Midway through their descent, Robin caught sight of them and came to meet them at the end of the staircase. Roland leapt into his father's arms from four steps up, and Regina stopped for a moment to watch the father and son. Growing up with Cora as a mother, she was always fascinated by a parent's affection for their child, and Robin did indeed love his son as much as she loved hers.

Once Roland had run in the direction of the cake, Robin looked up at Regina, not hiding his attraction. He couldn't turn away, not that he wanted to. She was so beautiful. Red suited her.

"No need to gawk, dear," she teased, coming down to meet his awaiting hand.

Holding her hand in his, he told her, "Not gawking. No. It's just that occasionally there are some things that are just too stunning for words."

Her breath caught in her throat, and she would have sworn the hall was suddenly empty with the exception of the two of them. This wasn't flirting. This was something entirely different, but Regina wasn't sure at what point that had changed.

He led her past tables filled with guests until they reached Snow and Charming. Snow noticed Robin's caring hand on the small of Regina's back, but she decided to not bring attention to it. She was content to know that the barrier had been broken down.

They laughed and ate. They listened to Charming's stories. Regina watched fondly as Snow and Charming danced, awkwardly considering the size of Snow's belly these days. It wasn't until a little hand tugged on her dress that Regina was pulled into the dancing as well.

"Gina, will you please dance with me?" Roland asked in a little voice.

"Of course I will, my little knight."

He first did his best impression of formal dancing, as the others on the floor were doing, but soon, Regina held him close in her arms and weaved in and out of the other dancers. His laughter filled the room, as did hers.

Robin stood in amazement. He did not think she could ever look more beautiful than she had coming down the staircase tonight, but now, her smile and her attention to his son proved him wrong.

The two danced long into the night, until Roland fell asleep in Regina's arms. With his head snuggled into the crook of her neck, she took the sleeping boy over to his father. Without much exchange, Regina made her way to an outside balcony. She needed a moment to herself, a moment of air.

It didn't take long for Robin to follow her outside.

"Are you trying to escape your promise of a dance?" He startled her from her thoughts.

"If it is anything like your previous attempt, then maybe I should," she spouted and flashed a sad smile.

He could tell that whatever she was thinking about was causing her sadness.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

She should have known that he would see through her. "Tonight was so wonderful. I loved being with Roland so much. I guess that it just made me think about Henry. He would have loved all of this," she said motioning toward the party.

"Tell me about him."

"Henry?" She paused. "Henry is everything good and beautiful in the world." He could hear tears in her voice. "_In my world_. He has the heart of the truest believer. He is the kind of person that believes no darkness is too great to recede."

Robin knew that she was talking about herself, but she moved on before he could comment.

"From the time he was young, he loved books. He loved stories. He would run around our house pretending to be the characters. His imagination was so vivid. It _is_ so vivid," she corrected. "When he was Roland's age, he thought there was nothing he couldn't do. He tried flying and sword fighting. You can imagine how many bandages he needed," she laughed.

"He sounds wonderful. You raised him well."

She thought of another time, when Rumple told her the same thing. They allowed the silence to linger for a time, not uncomfortable but silent. Robin reached for her hand that was resting on the balcony's railing. He wanted her to feel at ease just missing her son. After a time, she turned toward him with her hand still in his.

"Would you do me the great honor, kind sir, of dancing with me?" She curtsied melodramatically.

Though red from crying, her eyes lit up as he accepted her offer. They could hear the music drifting out of the open doors. The guests had opted for something more orthodox this late in the evening opposed to the lively folk music from earlier.

Though Regina made the offer, Robin took the lead. He pulled her close to him. One hand holding hers and another coming to rest at the bottom of her dress' bodice, he swayed them along with the music. Their rhythm was perfectly in sync.

Regina was a bit self-conscious by how close she was to him, but his steady gaze and gentle smile reassured her. She leaned into him, narrowing the space between them. Her cheek met his, the sensation of the stubble on his face made her prickle with goose bumps.

They fell under the spell of music and closeness. Neither felt the need to break the moment with words, speaking a language all their own with their movements.

The guitar slowed, and the couple along with it. Robin pulled his face from its comfort so that his eyes could meet hers. She would have smiled; she wanted to smile, but she was so lost in the ocean of blue that she could barely think, much less react. As the music completely stopped, he brought her hand to his mouth and slyly placed a kiss on the palm of her hand, as if a mundane and ordinary action he had taken a million times before. He brought his forehead to rest on hers, and she closed her eyes, soaking him in.

The moment would have been perfect had it not ended so quickly.

"So very sweet. I think I might be sick," a voice that Regina instantly recognized taunted.

They both turned from surprise.

_Zelena_. It would seem the protection spell was not enough to hold her at bay.

Their arms fought for the right to protect the other, but Regina won out when she instinctively pushed Robin behind her.

"What the hell do you want?" Regina was devoid of any of the tenderness she held only a moment ago.

Snow, Charming, and the sundry heard the commotion from inside, and soon, they were standing alongside Regina and Robin.

"Oh, don't let me ruin the party. Carry on as if I weren't even here. I will admit though, the lack of invitation was a bit tacky." Zelena's words dripped with animosity. "Believe it or not, I just came by to check on the soon-to-be mother," she said reaching for Snow's middle.

Regina stepped in between them before she could make contact. "Touch her and die."

"Oh now, is that any way to talk to your big sister?" Zelena laughed, snatching her hand from Regina's grasp.

"You need to leave. Now," Charming told her.

"Or what, Prince? How exactly do you plan on making me?" Zelena lifted her hand, and Charming lifted off the ground grabbing his neck.

Regina's hands went ablaze, and she threw fire in his sister's direction. The flame grazed Zelena's face, burning a streak in her green skin. The distraction proved enough for Charming to scramble to his feet, but Zelena automatically readjusted her gaze toward Snow.

"Oh Regina, you should know by now, I don't fight fire with fire, and I certainly don't fight fair." Zelena grabbed Snow's arms, and Snow writhed in pain. Zelena emitted a magic that seared Snow's flesh. Snow fell to the ground in pain, but Zelena wouldn't relent.

"Stop. Leave her alone. Take me. Take me instead. Isn't that what you really want?" Regina offered.

Zelena released Snow and dramatically considered Regina's offer, bringing her hand to her chin in thought.

Zelena's laugh surrounded them. "Very noble of you, little sister. Unfortunately, I will have to wait to take you up on that another day, but believe me," Zelena stepped up to Regina, "I will enjoy it when I do. It's just too bad that rotten son of yours isn't here. Then, I could have some real fun."

Regina was enraged, and before she could think of the consequences, she reached her hand into Zelena's chest, grabbing her heart. It was Zelena now who was writing in pain, but it was short-lived. Zelena glowed green with magic. She lifted Regina high into the air and threw her into the wall of the castle. Regina went limp as she connected with the ground.

"Oh, I hope she dies," Zelena yelled. Then she turned to Robin, "Good riddance." The smile on Zelena's face was sinister.

Zelena disappeared as quickly as she had appeared.

Robin ran to Regina, acknowledging the blood dripping from her head. Regina's dress was torn, and Robin could see the singe on her flesh, matching that of Snow's arms. He picked her up in his arms, begging someone to help her. Charming did much the same with Snow, but Snow protested wanting to see to Regina.

The Blue Fairy stepped forward and insisted that they get Regina to her chambers. Granny and a few others followed suit, going to get supplies to clean Regina's substantial wounds.

As they reached Regina's chambers, the Blue Fairy tried to see to Snow's wounds first.

"No! Help her," the Princess insisted.

"Zelena's magic is very strong. I'm not certain that we can completely heal her wounds, not the ones inflicted by magic. I will do what I can to help her, but she will need to find it within herself to restore her health." The Blue Fairy drew her wand and followed the length of Regina's body, from head to toe.

No matter how many times Robin had seen magic performed, known its power, it was still startling to see the gashes on Regina's head close and broken bones restored to new again. The only wound that remained was not visible.

"She needs to rest. She isn't out of the woods yet, but her body will heal itself once she has enough strength," the Blue Fairy told Snow as she began tending to Snow's arms.

Robin sat at Regina's bedside, willing her to open her eyes.

Snow, Charming, and Robin sat for a while after everyone had returned to their respective parts of the castle. Snow soon found herself falling asleep beside Regina, but Charming knew his insistence would not be enough to pry her from Regina's bedside.

"Snow, why don't you go on to bed," Robin told her.

"No. I want to be here when she wakes up." Snow was adamant.

"She would want you to rest. I will stay with her."

"Robin is right, Snow. You need to rest." Charming was thankful for the advocate in Robin.

Snow studied Regina for a moment before turning back to Robin, "You'll stay with her? And, come get me if she wakes up?"

"I promise," he said as he offered an encouraging smile.

Soon, it was just the outlaw and the queen.

Robin pulled the chair from her dressing table as close as he could to her bed. He leaned forward, took her hand in his, and rubbed circles in her palm. He willed her to open her eyes. He thought of the kiss he placed there only a few hours earlier, and he longed for that moment again.

This was the second time he had seen her try to leave this world. Granted, this time it was in an attempt to save everyone, but it nonetheless broke his heart that she placed so little value on her own life.

"_No one you'll miss_," she once told him.

Those words rang in his ears as he sat beside her now.

Hands clasped together, he teetered on the edge of sleep. For a while, he fought it, not wanting to miss a single sign that the queen was recovering, but he eventually couldn't fight it any longer.

"Where did you learn?"

Her question seemed far off, distant. He sleepily opened his eyes, not expecting the noise to have been real. He was snapped out of the haze when he realized her eyes were open.

"Regina," he breathlessly whispered. "What, what did you say?"

She gave a weak smile. "Where did you learn?"

"Learn what, my love?" He was sitting beside her now, stroking the place on her forehead where he knew a gash had been.

"You can dance. You didn't step on my toe a single time." She managed a laugh, but quickly, she regretted it feeling the sting of the once broken ribs. The wounds were gone, but the soreness was very present.

He reacted to her wince with one of his own. "My mother. She insisted that to be worthy of a lovely young woman, every gentleman should learn to dance."

Regina let out an acknowledging hum.

"Regina, the Blue Fairy said you needed to rest. She couldn't heal you completely, but she said you would be able to heal yourself after you regained your strength."

Another hum of understanding.

"I am going to go and get Snow. She wanted to be here when you woke up," he said rising.

"Robin," Regina said reaching for his hand. "Just stay. Stay with me."

He eyed her, knowing he couldn't refuse her request. The Princess would just have to forgive him.

Regina did her best to scoot her body over to make room for Robin in the bed. The pain shot hard throughout her, but she wouldn't concede to it. She needed him, and this was the price to pay for it.

Robin climbed in behind her, adjusting himself until he was cradling her head in the bend of his arm. She fell asleep quickly, content in his arms. He lay there, thanking whomever was responsible for bring her safely through.

The ebb and flow of her nightmares kept him awake for much of the night. The simultaneous jerks and winces of her body pained him. He tucked her tightly into his hold each time, whispering, "You're safe, Regina," at every interval. Soon, she'd relax and settle back into him.


	8. Chapter 8

In the Lonely Hour

First-timer. Nothing belongs to me except an old Ford and a cat named Larry. All feedback appreciated. Thanks!

*Set in the Enchanted Forest during the missing year.

Chapter Eight: But, Why?

The morning light had just begun to touch the farthest part of the horizon, and Regina stood at the balcony soaking up the first moments of the day.

Standing there, she thought how ironic that she stood in the same room, at the same balcony that had first begun her journey to the man sleeping soundly in her bed. This man with the lion tattoo held her through the night. He pulled her close and pushed away the visions of loss that often plagued her sleep. He lived up to the reputation a fairy once sold her.

She crossed her arms instinctively, protecting herself not from the chill in the air but the bite of her own thoughts. Regina wanted to both climb back into the comfort of his arms as well as pitch him from the room. The latter came not from anger or a desire for distance between them; it was derived from a condition much more serious.

She wanted this. She wanted _him_, but she was also very familiar with her reality. She had loved Daniel. She lost him. She loved her mother. She lost her as well. She loved her son with complete abandon, with a desperate and aching kind of love. Now, Henry was lost to her too. She loved her father, and she lost him but as a casualty to her own darkness. Her truth was that love was equated with loss. Regina wanted to believe, but experience outweighed hope. Her mind was overruling her heart. Or was it her heart that sought the safety of hopelessness?

She heard Robin begin to stir, silk fabric rustling under his movement. Her clouded mind cleared for a moment when she realized he was reaching for her in his sleep. When he realized Regina was no longer beside him, he opened his eyes and started to scan the room. When his look met hers, knots formed in the pit of her stomach. He rose from her bed, pulling and tucking his clothing until he felt presentable for the Queen. He came over to where she stood, not pressing into her space.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like I got into a fight with a stone wall and lost," she responded emotionless.

"Well, at least you still have your looks," he joked hoping to see her smile, but Regina did not react.

"Why don't you get back into bed? I can run down and grab you breakfast, if you like." He reached toward her shoulder, intending to guide her back to bed.

"Don't." She shrugged off his touch, not violently, but enough to sting. Their grimaces competed with one another. Her from the remaining tenderness, and him from her words.

"Regina," but she stopped him.

"No, Robin. I can take care of myself." She walked away from him toward the middle of the room.

"I can't do this," she said meeting his eyes, "_We _can't do this."

"Do what, Regina? Let me fetch you breakfast?" He smiled, knowing that she wasn't talking about breakfast, but trying to cut the tension nonetheless. However, it only gained him a sharp look from her.

"Regina, do you remember the very first time we met?" He gave her time to respond, but he knew it wouldn't come. "You're very first words to me," he stopped again, "Well, actually you corrected my usage of your title first, but that's neither here nor there." Again, his sense of humor failed him with her. "But, you also said, '_I didn't ask for your assistance.'_ Do you remember?" He smiled. It appeared to her that he was enjoying a conversation that she was clearly not privy to, but she did finally glance in his direction.

"And?"

"And, I know that you don't need me now. Maybe not ever. I _know _that you can take care of yourself. As a matter of fact, it has always been one of the things about you that I like most."

She was softening at the flattery.

"I know that you can take care of yourself, but why should you have to?" He let his words hang for a moment.

"Robin," she implored him to stop. She felt more and more defenseless with every accent-soaked word that dripped from his mouth.

"I have always promised you that I would not get in your way. I'm not trying to now. I'm here in whatever capacity you will allow me to be," he turned toward the real reason behind her anxiety. "I'm here because I want to be. I stayed because when you asked me, I couldn't think of a single thing in all the realms that could keep me from it."

She didn't run when he moved closer to her, which was progress. He felt, in more ways than one, that he was chasing her around the room.

"Regina," his voice was a whisper, maybe even a prayer. "Regina, the trouble for you will never be finding someone to care about you. The difficult part for you will always be convincing yourself that you are worthy of that sort of affection. To you, it's someone demeaning you. Someone searching out your weaknesses, but to me," he paused, "To me it's caring for the person who saved my son's life and who puts a smile on his face. It's treating you with the respect that you deserve, a respect for the person who—just last night—tried to sacrifice herself for others. I remember, Regina. You don't ask for assistance," he smiled. "You _can_ do it all alone, but why should you have to?"

He wanted to reach out to touch her, but he gave her space. She took a moment to consider Robin's words, and just as he was beginning to think she was immovable, she obliged him.

"I suppose that breakfast would be nice."

That was all she said, but it was all he needed. Before she could change her mind, he left the room in search of the terms of their peace treaty.

Regina flinched at the feeling of her muscles tensing and releasing when she pulled her bed's blanket back atop her. His warmth still lingered. Hints of honey and tobacco were showered across her pillows, which she hoped were permanently splayed with the scent. _His scent. _

Robin was the first man to ever wake up in her bed. Never before had she allowed someone to greet morning alongside her. Sharing the night was one thing, but greeting the morning was entirely another. He hadn't made love to her. He hadn't even kissed her. But somehow, she felt she had shared an intimacy with him that night that she had never felt before. It left her cheeks pink at the thought. It brought a flutter to her stomach. She wanted this. She wanted _him. _But, she would have to be crazy to give up the comfort of her devotion to impossibility. Regina had gained a great deal of self-awareness over the past few years, and she knew one very important fact about herself: When she allowed herself to love, it was a complete love. It overtook her. It saturated her very being. It became her guiding principle. Reservation kept her safe.

She was in an impossible situation. She wanted to run, but she wasn't sure she could will her feet to move. She settled on ignoring the problem for now. With the smell of him surrounding her, she wasn't sure that was possible, but she would give it her best effort.

Robin came back through only to deposit the food, ask her again how she was feeling, and turn to leave.

Reaching for the handle of the door, he stopped.

"Promise me?"

"Promise you what?" She asked him toast in hand.

"Promise me that you will never do that again." His smile had faded, and his demeanor was serious. She knew he was talking about the way she had thrown herself in front a bullet the night before.

"I can't promise that."

He felt she had been pushed enough for one day. It wasn't his intention to push her at all. Maybe he was weak, but the sight of her paying penance to the havoc within her was too much. Nothing would bring him more pleasure than to wrap her in his arms, to smother the life from her pain.

He left her to her toast.

He had no expectations. He had no ulterior motive. He held her for the sake of holding her. He tended to her for the sake of tending to her. Robin meant what he told her; he would be there in whatever capacity she would allow him to be because it seems that she was the eternal spring and he was the parched traveler.

Regina spent most of the day roaming about the castle. She refused to sit in her chambers, knowing that the soreness would not dissolve itself. Likely, the walking about was equally an attempt to outrun her thoughts, however. Snow met her step for step that day, refusing to leave her side.

After a long bout of avoiding the needed words, Snow acknowledge the elephant in the room.

"Regina, you saved my life."

Regina quickened her steps. She was uncomfortable with what she knew was coming next.

"Thank you," Snow told her.

"You think I would let my sister have the satisfaction," Regina deflected.

Snow gave her a knowing look.

_You're welcome_ is all that Regina was able to manage.

The darkness of night started to fall by the time Regina made it back to her chambers. The shadows grew taller as the sun fell in the sky. She was thankful to be devoid of soreness now; she moved freely as if a weight had been lifted. However, her heart had not found the solace it needed yet. For a while, she allowed herself to think of Robin. She smiled at the thought of him lying in her bed and reaching out for her, lion tattoo in full display. Every negating thought was met with a recollection of his hand taking hers, traces of his intoxicating scent, or the memory of his lips brushing hers. She hated this feeling, this weakness to him. It led her only to heartbreak, she knew. The sad truth, though, was that this is who she was. She was the woman who was driven by love. Though the process may have been muddled to some, her entire life had revolved around it. Even now, her hesitation was fueled by the fear of having love, but losing it. It was fueled by her dependence upon sadness as her anchor. It was fueled by her missing piece, her son.

She lost track of time as she stared out on the courtyard below. The blackness of the night concealed many of the details of the area, but a faint glow illuminated her beloved apple tree. She was reminded of her mother in that moment. She thought of the woman who ripped her own heart out in order to skirt around the dangers of love. Cora taught her that love was weakness.

She didn't want to be her mother though.

Snow echoed in her mind, "_You deserve to be happy, Regina."_

Robin echoed in her mind, _"You are worthy of affection." _

Henry echoed in her mind, _"You aren't a villain." _

The only thing capable of pulling her from her thoughts appeared. There in the same faint light that shone on her tree was Robin.

Before she could stop herself, she left her room with little thought to the long silk nightdress she wore. If she hadn't been so focused on her destination, she would likely have noticed the unexpected looks from the few remaining wanderers in the castle. Impulse was her friend in that moment, hoping to make it to him before the surge passed. Fear and consequence be damned, she pressed forward.

The archway opened into the courtyard as if the finish line to a long marathon. She was standing in the doorway of a tavern, bright and hopeful. Only this time, she would step over the threshold.

He sat alone on one of the low stonewalls surrounding the tree. He was lost in thought and didn't see her walk toward him at first.

She stood for a moment, taking him in.

"Somehow, I knew you'd come," he told her.

"Oh really? How could you know such a thing," she asked with nervousness growing with every step she took toward him.

"Well, magic, of course."

"Magic? And when did you acquire such a talent?" He was pleased to hear a smile in her voice, the darkness and distance covering her face from his view.

"No talent. Just these on my side," he said motioning toward the star-filled sky.

She made her way to sit next to him, close but not too close.

"I wished for you," he whispered.

"And, here I am," she replied leaning her shoulder into his playfully.

For the first time, he flaunted a smile, nodding in agreement. They let the silence stay for a moment, content to just sit with one another in the comfortable coolness of the night.

"Tell me something that no one else knows. Tell me a secret, Robin Hood," she broke.

She felt like a teenager passing a metaphorical note. Check yes or no.

"I have no secrets, my queen." He smiled, gently nudging her thigh.

"Something that no one else knows? A thief must have at least one secret."

He took a long look at her. The time had come, he decided.

"When my wife died," he started as she settled in to listen, "I thought my heart would never heal. If it hadn't been for Roland, I'm not sure I would have survived the loss. I lived for a very long time off the memory of her. I decided that my role as Roland's father, a leader to the Merry Men, and a servant of the people would be enough for me," he waited a beat and said with a bit of guilt in his voice, "But that has been changing lately."

Regina responded with her eyes, but no words. She lifted an eyebrow in question.

"You see, someone has convinced me otherwise. While I cherish those roles in my life, I found something, or someone rather, that I did not realize I was missing. I suppose that my secret is that since the first day that we met, I have longed to know the feeling of pressing my lips to yours," he gave a small laugh as if his words were inconceivable.

She couldn't have suppressed her smile, even if she tried will all her might. He stood walking toward the apple tree, likely to prevent himself from reaching to touch her. However, she stood and matched his steps.

"What's stopping you?" Her voice was timid, shy.

He bit his bottom lip out of habit, reaching to tuck a hair behind her ear. His thumb traced her cheekbone. He was impressed with his own willpower.

"Because I realize how much of your life has been spent having things taken from you. I don't want to be yet another person to do the same."

If she had doubted her decision to meet him here at all before, she was certain she had done the right thing now. His hands left her face to intertwine his fingers with hers.

"Regina, I don't just want to kiss you. I want it to be freely given when you chose it to be, when you are ready. I want you to make the decision to come to me."

She was speechless. The man before her was striking. He was kind and gentle with his words. He was noble. She knew he had given great thought to what he said.

This time, it was her hand that rose to meet his face. The texture of his stubble on her hand sent chills through her.

"You're only like this with me, aren't you?"

"Only you, my queen," he told her as he took her hand and placed another kiss in her palm.

"Why, Robin?" It broke his heart that she didn't know.

"Because I have fallen completely in love with you." He took her breath away.

His stare was so intense that she felt completely bare before him. Had she not heard the words, she would still have known what he said by the look of love dancing in his eyes.

Without hesitation, she leaned into him. She gently brushed her lips against that bottom lip he was so fond of biting. When she fully met him, she would have sworn she heard the click of a piece finding its rightful home. He responded with vigor, wrapping one arm around her and snaking his fingers from the other in her hair. She clutched the collar of his shirt for leverage, pulling him into her as deeply as possible. She wanted this. She wanted _him._

Though passionate, it was also kind. She kissed him not with desperation, but with patience. She kissed him as if she would spend the rest of her life kissing him. They traced one another's mouths, languid movements that coaxed her breathing into frenzy. She pulled away.

Breathless, she smiled, "Can't take what has been given to you."

With that, he pulled her to him again. He had license now, and he wouldn't waste it. He backed her into the body of the tree, using it as leverage to delve deeper into her. He roamed about her neck, her collarbone. The warm traces of his kisses along the bone caused her eyes to flutter shut. He had her lungs alternating between deprivation and fullness. One hand found a permanent home in her hair; she quickly realized his infatuation. The other outlined her body, finding itself perched upon her hip. His thumb pressed into the spot where her hipbone protruded. Her body responded to his every whim, and she relished that he could provoke her in such a way. Though impassioned, he was careful not to become too ambitious. As much as he wanted her, he also respected her. He loved her.

He left her with one last trace of his tongue on her lip before pulling apart from her. He was close to losing himself in her, and he wanted to preserve all that he said to her before. They would walk or run or sprint. It was her call, her pace. He wanted to respect that. They shared this excursion now.

She practically whimpered at the break in contact between them. She reached for him, pulling him into another lingering kiss. She thought for a moment before she took his hands in hers.

"Robin, make love to me."

Regina wasn't lost in his hands to her; her thoughts weren't befuddled by passion. Her mind was clear. Her desire was clear. She could go on living without him, but why should she have to? There were simply some risks worth taking. She pulled his hands, leading him toward the archway in which she entered the courtyard. He followed her lead, reminded again of how beautiful she was. Her hand tugged him eagerly, but as they reached the archway, he resisted her pull. He stopped, sending a slight jolt up her arm. He needed to kiss her, and the walk to her chambers was proving too long. They landed under the arch, Regina again backed into a surface. He took her face in his hands, smiling at her and peppering her with tender kisses. The way he dragged her lips along as he slowly pulled away from each kiss had her feeling weak-kneed. Soon, he relented having filled their moment's quota, and they picked up their pace toward their endpoint.

Regina couldn't remember the last time a man held her hand as they walked. There were so many tiny moments of intimacy that she did not know she wanted or needed. Some things so simple, but so meaningful. In this instance, she thought, the constant touch operated as the fix they needed to continue walking.

As they reached her door, Robin stopped, pulling her close to him. Their hands rested atop one another on the doorknob, ready to turn in harmony.

"Regina, are you certain?"

She looked up at him and gave a reassuring smile. "I have waited for you much longer than you know." She placed a simple kiss on his lips. "I'm certain," she said as she backed into the door, opening it.

The room was lit only by the moonlight flooding in through the open balcony. As soon as the door closed behind them, they collided again in desperation. They stumbled awkwardly into her dressing table as she backed him across the room to the bed. Eventually finding their way, she forced his knees to bend when they hit. He sat, hands running up the back of her thighs until he held her firmly in his hands. Her head tilted downward, meeting him with a kiss. She ran her hands across his shoulders, feeling the firmness of his muscles as they tensed and released. She pulled at the hem of his shirt, letting her fingers trail longer than necessary just inside his waistband. She pulled the shirt over his head, pulling it in to her face to smell. He smiled at her; he wasn't the only one who had developed an infatuation.

Robin tracked the curve of her body until he found the edge of her nightdress. He inched his hands up and up until the fabric bunched around her hips. He pulled her into him, seeking approval to remove the dress entirely. She lifted her hands in the air, waiting for him to rid her of the annoying separation between their skins. His hands grazed the skin from her hips to her neck, lifting the silk until he could drop it to the floor. He took her in. Bathed in the glow of the blue moonlight, she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

"You're perfect," he whispered.

Before she could, he pulled her to him, skin gloriously crashing together. She kissed him hard. Responding to every slide of his hands and tongue correspondingly. He moved his mouth to the space between her breasts. He kissed her from the top of her sternum down until meeting the curve underneath her breast, following it to its end before matching his movement on the other side of her chest. Her fingers threaded through his hair, urging him not to stop. She panted under the sensation of each kiss, and when he took her into his mouth, a whimper that she didn't know she was capable of escaped her. His hand sought out the other breast, carefully tracing the parts of her he knew were sensitive. Her fingernails dragged across his scalp, not out of intention but reflex. His desire built until he couldn't maintain their current position. He needed her in bed.

He stood, meeting her lips with his as he pulled at the buttons on his pants. She stopped his hands from moving; "Let me," she told him. He relinquished the right to her, hands seeking out refuge in her hair. They were breathless; so close that Regina's hands struggled to pull down the zipper of his pants. She wedged her hands between them, seeing for herself the desire he held for her. She pushed her hands into his waistband, shrugging of all the layers that kept him from her.

He stepped free, lifting her slightly from her planted feet. He turned, balancing her weight on the arm he snaked under her hips. He wanted her. He could take her now and please her, but he chose instead to resist the urge to make quick work of her pleasure. He wanted to savor her writhing underneath his touch.

He laid her back on the bed, gracefully setting her down in a way befitting a gentle lover. He took a moment, reeling in his want. She sat up on her elbows, waiting for him to join her. His hands shadowed up her legs, taking hold of the last remaining separation between them. The lace she wore left little to the imagination; however, it was keeping him from her, and that was unacceptable to either of them. He pulled at the lace until he held it in his hands and free from her. The sensual look in her eye called him to her. He was the sailor, and she was the siren. One hand braced his descent, and the other traced the inside of her thigh, creating enough room between them for him to settle between her legs.

She trembled as his body melded with hers. It was impossible to see where one ended and the other began. He tickled the skin of her stomach, intensely sensitive to his drags. The friction of his standing desire against hers drove her wild. Wanting him was in the past. She had a desperate need for him.

Their kisses mixed breath, lips, and tongue. He shifted a bit in order to gain access again to her breasts and stomach. His fingers trailed down her body, pausing for a moment on her middle as she dug her nails into him desperately. The sensation of him tracing her from beginning to end sent a swell of passion into her depths. She ached for him.

Robin lifted his eyes to meet hers, mixed with love and passion. His hand made the journey again down her side to her hip before finding its home again on the bone of her hip. He watched her as he drew his hand inward. She eased her legs apart, granting him the access he wanted. He teased the outer edge before slipping his finger into the very beginning of her fold. As he found the most sensitive part of her, her eyes fluttered shut, unable to remain open at the double sensation of his finger drawing circles and the pulsating bulge against her inner thigh. He drug his fingers down until he could push two fingers into her. He searched, a new lover searching for what he knew was there. He glided within her easily, recognition of how much she wanted him making his search more urgent. His fingers grazed the coveted spot within her, and he took great pleasure in how her back arched, bridging one half of her body to the next.

She let out a bay of agreement with his touch and pace.

When he pulled his fingers from within her, her breathing caught up to her need for oxygen. However, the reprieve wouldn't last long as he pulled himself to his knees, pulling his body downward over hers. His face was floating near the middle of her belly. He looked to her, and she saw the direction in which he was headed. It was a wordless transaction, a begging to steal a taste of her. She had no desire to withhold any part of herself from him, so she cupped his stubbled face in her hands and urged him to pull her further under his spell.

He took care in kissing her, trying to cover any flesh he may have missed in his previous routes. He sat up again as he reached the lowest part of her abdomen. His hands flowed from her hip down to her ankle, and he bent her knee to meet his mouth. This time, she took the pleasure of watching him as he left wet kisses along the inside of her thigh, forcing her eyes to stay open despite their appeal to close. As he reached the apex of her thighs, she inhaled sharply with expectation, but he saw fit to mimic his movements on the other leg before meeting again at the apex of her thighs. He looped her legs over his shoulders, and she shuttered from anticipation. He pulled his newly free hands down her sides and under her hips, lifting them slightly to meet his mouth. When his tongue made contact with her, she lurched her hips forward, unintentionally pulling him farther into her. Her fingers dove into the fabric beneath them, searching for an anchor for her soaring body. He lavished her with the sensation of his tongue within her, finding the same spot he managed to find with his fingers earlier. She was close to the edge; he knew because she cried out his name in repetition. He drew back, finding his original position within her. He couldn't resist the urge to tease her one last time by mixing kisses and pressure. She couldn't manage his name under the feeling, but her nails dragging against his scalp proved to be validation enough. He pulled free, leaving a satisfied kiss on her hipbone.

She pulled him up to her lips, the taste of her still lingering in his mouth. The ache within her was now a full on fire. He smiled at the way he provoked these movements and sounds within her.

"I want you, Robin," she told him between gasps.

He surprised her by rolling her over to rest on top of him. He ceded control to her, wanting her to take of him what she needed. She rose to straddle him, settling down atop him until she felt herself become one with him. His hands took her again by the hips, thumbs pressing into the same sensitive spot as kissed only seconds before. Her eyes lifted to the heavens; her hands trailed down her own body as she lyrically moved her hips back and forth. Her hair fell long down her back. Robin was in awe of her.

She found an intoxicating rhythm, pushing and pulling long motions across his body. They rose to the peak together, finding release in unison. She felt full as he felt empty. His hands dug into her hips as she pulled the last bits of pleasure from their bodies for them. As they began to fall, she saw to it that it was a slow descent. She kept rocking, enjoying every moment of the slow roll downward. When they parted, both instantly missed the oneness. Her soul had merged with his. They were completely alive after being flung into the heavens.

Her head lay across his chest, still resting atop him. Robin pulled at the blankets around them until he managed to cover her. She laughed at his sudden modesty.

His hand lazily drifted from the top of her back to the bottom, slowly inching the freshly laid blanket downward until her entire back was exposed again. They regained control over their bodies, stilled hearts and normalized breathing.

He lifted her face to meet his, and he gave her a long, unhurried kiss. When they broke, she slid to his side, head still on his chest and one leg draped across him. His arms reached around her, pulling her close to him. He kissed her forehead before meeting his with hers. They stayed there, basking in the pleasure they brought one another for a while.

She eventually broke the silence, suddenly sitting up, "Should you get back to Roland? What if he wakes in the middle of the night?"

He took her by the shoulders, pulling her back down to him.

"I put him to bed long ago. He sleeps soundly; he barely moves a muscle."

She rested her head again, content with his answer.

"But," he added, "I don't have to stay if…."

She shut him up with a kiss.

"I want you here with me."

They fell asleep easily in each other's arms. That night, Regina didn't dream of loss; she dreamed of what could be. Instead of his pulling her in to push away the nightmares, she pulled close to him to draw herself deeper into her dreams.

The sun woke Robin the next morning. Regina was still tucked into him, lying on her stomach with her head resting on his extended arm. He cherished her for a few moments. This was one of those rare occasions that he could soak her in fully. He noted the shape of her eyes and the scar above her lip. She truly was the most beautiful woman in all the realms, and he alone was allowed to share these sacred moments with her. That is exactly what he felt too. She was sacred and holy, to be worshiped and adored. He did just that.

He sat up on his elbow, trailing his free hand again down the curve of her back. His fingers found the groove of her spin irresistible. Soon, he was peppering kisses from the bottom of the indent to the top. As he reached her shoulder, then her neck, he pushed away the curls hiding her skin, and he lapped the skin of her neck right below her ear until her smile widened.

Her sun-flaked eyes met his, a mischievous play about them. He took advantage, leaning in and stealing dramatic, constant kisses to her cheeks. She laughed, filling the room.

"Robin," she laughed through the kisses.

He finally gave in to her protest as she began to poke her fingers into his ribs.

"Okay, okay! I'm finished."

She rolled over to meet him, "Good morning, thief."

"Good morning, _your majesty_," his tone all too familiar.

She leaned in and kissed him, secretly hoping it was the first of many they would share on mornings like this. He pulled her a bit deeper than she had originally intended, also pulling her under him in the process. Her body instantly reacted to him. He teased her, cupping her breast while he drug her lips along.

"Robin?"

He hummed in response.

"Aren't we suppose to meet the Council this morning? And, shouldn't we get Roland up and to breakfast?"

He hummed again in agreement, but his answer did nothing to change his clear intent. She inhaled sharply as his hands drifted between her thighs. She was already feeling that familiar ache growing within her. _This man_, she swore. He kissed her before she could provide rationalization for the need to stop again. This morning, though, he didn't hesitate to quicken the pace. She gave in, kissing him hungrily. She took him in her hands, filing away at his ability to think. She pulled him wholly on top of her, begging him to make them one again. He filled her, and she wrapped her legs tightly around him. She gripped his arms, pressing him to make quick work of her. He pushed deeper and deeper into her, swinging their hips back and forth together. She cried out, digging her nails into his back. He pushed harder, faster until he felt himself falling over the cliff alongside her.

They met the peak, not slowly but with a sudden burst within each of them. The intensity had her bucking wildly beneath him and singing his name.

They crashed together. Hard. He pulled himself from her and fell to his back beside her. She reached for his hand, intertwining their fingers. She laughed freely at their inability keep their hands off one another.

"How will we make it through an entire Council meeting?" She smiled at him with glittering eyes.

He laughed along with her.

They finally coerced themselves out of bed. Robin went to wake Roland, and Regina went about dressing for the day. She chose a blue riding jacket and black pants. She had a special treat in mind for Roland today.

Robin and Roland strolled down the corridor of the castle toward breakfast. He caught sight of her, attention drawn to the tight leather pants she wore first. She was talking to Charming about something that seemed serious. Likely, it involved the Wicked Witch. He felt like a boy with his first crush, everything about her drove him wild. Considering he now knew what lie hidden underneath, he was especially sensitive.

Roland jabbered on about something, but as soon as he caught sight of Regina, he left his father behind.

"Gina!" His voice echoed in the hall as he collided with her legs.

She was startled from her conversation, but she instantly smiled and threw her arms down to pick the boy up. Still in the midst of the conversation, she multi-tasked, and Robin imagined that this was what she had been best at. She was a working mother, and she was excellent.

As he approached them, Robin considered how Regina would want to manage their new development in public. Though, he did not find it likely that she would care if Charming knew either way, so his hand met the small of her back to let her know he was beside her. The way she broke her sentence with a smile in his direction reassured him.

Roland's soft curls intermingled with Regina's as he laid his head on her shoulder. Robin wasn't sure which of them loved her more, him or his son.

Soon, the conversation ended as they made their way to breakfast. Both struggled to keep their hands to themselves. Regina felt as if a switch had been flicked, and she suddenly wanted him touching her every moment. Robin worked, though, to respect her space until he knew for sure how she felt about letting everyone in on their little secret.

"I'm going to take Roland over to Granny," Robin explained to her as they stood in the empty hall.

Regina leaned down and fixed Roland's hair, placing a kiss on his forehead. "Be good for Granny," she told him. The boy stood between them, looking from his father to Regina and back again.

"Then, I will see you in the meeting," she responded. She reached over and softly delivered a kiss of his own to Robin's lips.

After they rounded the corner, Roland began the conversation that Robin knew was coming, "Papa? Regina kissed you."

Robin tried not to laugh at the expression on his son's face. "Yes, she did. Is that alright?"

"Well, you said that people who kiss are in love."

Did this boy remember everything with the exception of their rule about not wandering off?

"That's true. I did say that."

"So, you love Regina," the boy deduced.

"Yes. I do. Very, very much. How do you feel about that, son?"

"I love her very much too. Does this mean that she can't love me anymore?"

"What?" Robin was puzzled at the boy's logic. "No, Roland. Regina loves you very, very much. That will never change."

Roland looked at his father, not quite believing him.

"Do you remember when I told you that story about the queen who had the most beautiful heart in all the realms?"

Roland began telling the story, "Her heart was pink and orange like the sunset, and dark blue like midnight."

Robin smiled, "That's right. Well, Regina is very much like that queen. You see, she has room in her heart for more love than anyone else in the world. She can love both of us. Though, I would be willing to bet that there is a special place in her heart only for you."

The boy's fear seemed to be swept away. With a nodded of the head, he jumped down from his father's arms and into the kitchen where Granny ran about.

"Thank you, Granny," Robin offered as he left them.

As he sat down at the meeting table, the conversation was already in full swing. He caught up quickly. Regina was very close to finding the exact location of the door Rumple told them about. She was still skeptical considering the state of Rumple's mind, but she had nonetheless been able to find a few sources that lent itself to his story. She was convinced enough to go out and search, but she was not keen on the plan that Charming was trying to sell to her.

"No. It will not work that way," she argued. "Magic does not work that way."

"Regina," Snow appealed, "What do you think we should do then?"

"We do not need an entire search party to go about and find this door. We can handle it just the three of us. A large party would draw attention."

"Taking you anywhere draws attention," Grumpy chimed in.

Regina rolled her eyes, before continuing, "Snow, Charming, and I can handle this."

Robin tried his hand at convincing her otherwise, "Maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to take a few extra hands. In case you run into trouble, it might be helpful. We could spread throughout the area, no traveling in large groups."

"No. That is ridiculous." Regina was having none of his plan; she shut him down in much of the same fashion as she had Charming.

Robin worked to keep himself from laughing. He was glad to see that his declaration of love had not lessened her convictions.

"Look, sister, we wouldn't be in this mess if it wasn't for you. How about you listen to some reason?" Grumpy saw the room ready to give in Regina's demands, but he was having none of it.

Regina stiffened.

"Grumpy," Snow scolded.

"I'm sorry, Princess, but this woman brings darkness wherever she goes. We wonder why this witch keeps getting the best of us. It's her."

"Enough," Robin told him as gently as possible considering the anger rising in his chest.

Regina went into self-defense mode. Her shoulders flew back, and her chin slightly lifted. She put on her armor; her face changed, though, by the dwarf's words.

Robin couldn't help himself; he slid his hand on top of hers, pressing his thumb into her palm.

"You have no idea what you're getting yourself into, man," Grumpy spouted at the sight of Robin's hand comforting Regina. "She's a monster."

"That's enough, Grumpy!" Snow stood, almost as if she were about to flee the room at the discourse.

"As I recall, she has saved your life more than once, so she deserves your respect." Robin tried very hard to evenly make the statement.

"All of you, stop," Regina told them. "We will prepare to leave tomorrow for the Dark Forest. Only the three of us," she emphasized the last part and looked toward the Charmings.

Snow was weak to her after Grumpy's remarks, so she conceded.

"Alright, it's done then." Snow didn't waste any time leaving the room.

Everyone stalked off in silence, leaving Robin and Regina in the room alone.

As soon as the door came to a close, Robin apologized, "Regina, I'm sorry. I know that you can handle the likes of the dwarf; I just lost don't like someone speaking to you that way."

She didn't respond; she simply leaned over and kissed him, pressing her forehead to his for a moment. His hand, again went to her hair. He pulled her in.

"So, you aren't angry with me?"

"How could I be? But, now it would seem that everyone is on to us."

"Does that mean that I can kiss you whenever I want then?"

She smiled at the fact that his mind avoided all of the intricacies of the situation and went straight for the idea of kissing her.

They spent the rest of the day riding horses through the kingdom. Roland laughed gleefully as Regina galloped in the openness of the meadow. She was a much better rider than Robin ever dreamed of being, and Roland had yet another reason to love her. They stopped for a while, picnicking on the hillside. Robin and Roland took turns rolling down the side of the hill. Roland pulled Regina from the comfort of the blanket to insist that she take her turn. She didn't even attempt to resist. Roland laughed and jumped at the top of the hill. Regina's hair flew into the air, tangled with grass and leaves. She reached the bottom with a thump as she rolled into Robin's side. Roland opted to run down the hill, Robin's arm the only thing to catch him from flying forward with momentum. He tickled the boy with one hand, intertwining the other with Regina's. She closed her eyes and soaked up the rays of sun.

"What are you thinking about, my love," Robin asked her.

"I wish Henry was here with us."

He tightened his grip on her hand, and soon, she broke her thoughts to roll over and join in the tickling. She aimed for Robin though, and quickly, he was overtaken by the tag-team effort.

_Let me know what you think! More to come. _


	9. Chapter 9

In the Lonely Hour

First-timer. Nothing belongs to me except an old Ford and a cat named Larry. All feedback appreciated. Thanks!

*Set in the Enchanted Forest during the missing year. Rated M. Depicts rape and the emotional trauma associated.

Chapter Nine: Over My Head

The three took their time making their way back to the castle. It was easy to lose yourself in the laughter and simplicity, Regina thought.

Roland was cradled in his father's arm, sleeping through the nod of the horse's steps. Regina watched Robin as he focused on balancing the child while holding the reins.

She was in drifting in over her head, getting lost in loving him. It was as if she waded out into the sea only to find the tides swallowing her up unexpectedly. She was not sure she had ever felt about someone the way she felt about Robin. She did not know whether or not she was capable of giving him all he deserved, not knowing if she had enough left within her. When he wrapped himself around her or pulled her into a kiss, those things no longer mattered. His love for her was poetic, and she felt, if nothing else, that he was her constant. He was the sun, and she was the season. Though she lacked consistency, he did not. He would always rise and always set. She knew that when he told her that he was in love with her, it held permanence.

Black ink peeked from his shirtsleeve. She thought of telling him then and there how a fairy foretold of their love, how their souls were intertwined long before they met. She was certain he already knew the latter. It seemed impossible to her that when he made love to her, that he didn't know. Every touch rendered her speechless. Every movement perfectly blended together. It wasn't touch for the sake of touch or kiss for the sake of kiss; she could feel his love radiate through him and into her. It was a perfection only possible when one soul was irrevocably tied to another. She found him.

They rode in silence, trading glances across the path occasionally. She knew by the look in his eye that his mind was locked on how quickly to make his way back into her bed. She adored his attention, his hungry gazes. Regina felt desired beyond measure; he wanted her heart and her body. He was welcome to enjoy both.

The castle was still buzzing when they deposited the horses into the stables. Roland was still asleep, a testament to the fun of the day. Robin decided to skip dinner in order to put his son to bed. Regina insisted that he eat, bringing a plate of food back to her chambers for him.

When he was sure that Roland was down for the night, Robin made his way back to Regina. As he walked, his heart picked up its pace, knowing what lay on the other side of her door. He had fallen in love with her the first moment he met her, he decided, and he would love her every moment thereafter.

"Did he go down alright," were the first words from her mouth. She held out the plate she brought for him, requiring that he take it. He set it aside, choosing to kiss her instead.

"No," she drug out, "Robin, you have to eat." She smiled as he flowered kisses along her neck, making a flush of warmth drive from her chest to her face. She stepped away from him, grabbing the plate again and heading toward the bed. She sat, waiting for him to finish pouting.

They interacted with ease. There was no evidence that they were just beginning this affair. He stretched across the bed, eating as he was commanded to do. They sat together, laughing and talking for hours. He made her laugh. He stole opportunities to place leisurely kisses on her lips, cheeks, and anywhere else that lay exposed. They enjoyed one another in the way people who have been in love for many years do, knowing the responses before they come and feeling comfortable with the constant display of affection. Late into the night, she pulled him close to her. He took the chance to just admire her, something he would never grow tired of doing. She smiled under his gaze; she knew. They shared slow kisses, no passionate intent behind them at first. They just basked in the feeling of the contact.

It only changed when she climbed up him, grabbing every bit of flesh she could along the way. She sat atop him with a look of victory on her face. Her hands ran up his chest under his shirt; she enjoyed both the feel of his rippled body as well as the hums coming from him at her action. If she wanted to seduce him, he would gladly let her. They worked together until both were completely bare, clothes strewn across the room. She cackled as he stepped his fingers up her ribs one by one. They were frolicking through their movements, a playfulness that emitted as much laughter as it did gratification. He pulled her down to him, savoring the taste of her skin. Her breast in his mouth and her pelvis coercing waves of desire, he marveled at this woman who felt content being completely his.

Robin fixed his arms around her, not wanting to risk separation. He drew her closer before turning the tables. She was under him, her body completely covered by his. They were nearing the point of irresistibility; he planted a deep kiss on her lips, devouring her. He looked to her, making sure she was ready, and he slipped himself into her with a flawless motion. She sighed, the feeling of him within her beginning to quench the ache she felt in her depths. She helped to set their pace, pulling her heel into his thigh. She spoke, and he listened. She whined with pleasure as he drove them deeper. Robin's hands ran up her sides, pulling her arms above her head. He saw her face contort a bit, but soon, she was again drawing her foot into his thigh, begging him not to stop. He shifted his weight to his hands, trying to relieve her body of some of his weight. His thumbs dug into her wrists; her arms pulled tight by the pressure.

He instantly noticed her discomfort. Her breathing was still rapid, but different. He knew what she sounded like in the heat of passion, made it a point to memorize every twirl of her face, pace of her breath, and noise of ecstasy. This was different. She couldn't breathe. Her face showed horror, and she cried out in opposition. Her body tensed and tears flooded her eyes. The change was so fast, and she struggled against his touch. He immediately fell to the side, stinging with the thought of having hurting her. She bolted to a sitting position.

"Regina, did I hurt you? Are you all right, my love? Slow down. What's wrong?" He badgered her with well-meaning questions.

He reached for her arm, trying to soothe her, but she pulled away from him. She couldn't catch her breath. He didn't dare reach for her again.

"I'm so sorry. Did I hurt you?" He was as breathless and horrified as she was.

_No_ was all that she could offer as comfort, panting it out.

She grabbed his arm, her nails cutting his skin. It was as if she was trying to make sure he was real. As she pulled herself into a normal range of breathing, reality began to settle for her again.

Her heart broke when her thoughts caught up with his words. He thought he had hurt her.

"Regina, are you okay?" He practically pleaded with her.

She took another moment, hand still attached to his arm. She closed her eyes, tears gushing from them. This time, when he reached to cover her hand with his, she didn't pull away. She reminded herself _who_ he was. She reminded herself _where_ she was. She reminded herself _when_ she was.

He thought he hurt her, but he hadn't. Someone a lifetime ago had, though.

"Robin, I'm so sorry." He was barely able to make out her words through her crying.

"No, my love." Tears filled his eyes as well now. "I'm sorry. I hurt you."

"No. It wasn't that. It wasn't you. It wasn't your fault. It's me."

He didn't understand quite what she meant, but he wiped the tears from her eyes. Her wet skin glued his hand to her face. She leaned into him, foreheads connecting as if magnetism constantly brought them together. They held their pose for a while, trying to regain composure. Robin was downright lost, but he didn't want to weigh her down with his questions. He especially did not want to push her to talk about something that she wasn't ready to talk about. This was about hurt, about the past. It held that air about it for him. He knew her well enough to know that.

"What can I do," he asked her.

She thought for a moment. He could visually see that she was pulling strength from somewhere; he just didn't realize it was him.

She needed to regain control. She needed, in that moment, to break the helplessness she felt. She needed to choose something for herself, and she chose him. Regina met his eyes, "Make love to me like that never happened."

She was sure, but he wasn't. Even though he knew had not hurt her physically, he had clearly reminded her of something that caused her great pain emotionally. She could see the hesitation in his eyes, and she didn't blame him.

"Robin," She took his face in her hands, "I trust you. Please."

Her tears still poured steadily, but he could tell that she felt she knew the answer. All he could do was trust her.

"But, you'll tell me if," he started with his voice soaked in fear.

"I promise." She cut him off, knowing that he needed her assurance that she wouldn't push herself into that territory again. She had to be honest with him, in the midst of passion and afterward. The only way this would work was honesty. She couldn't run from it, not with him. Things between them were too intense for her to hide. She had exposed her whole self to him, and now, he could see her scars.

She lay back on the bed, and he touched her as if she would break. She was his fine porcelain doll, priceless and precious. He caressed her, scanning her body as if he would find a place unseen, almost searching for the invisible wounds of her past. His hands on her belly were but a whisper, tantric. He pulled the sheet far down so it only covered below her hips.

"You're so beautiful," he whispered.

His kisses started at the bottom of her abdomen. Out of habit, he found the bone of her hip. It had quickly become one of his favorite parts of her body. He smothered the area on her leg between abdomen and thigh with languid kisses. His breath pouring over her like wind through a valley. He worked his way up until he had engulfed her, stomach wet with his kisses. He paid special attention to the curve of her breast, drinking in the areas that he knew made her weak.

She had closed her eyes long ago, allowing herself to be enveloped in him. Blinded, his touch and smell were compounded. The senses that had once betrayed her when it came to him were now filling her to the brim with bliss.

He brought himself all the way up her body until he was almost in the same position as earlier in the night. Instead of lifting her hands up above her, he brought each wrist to his mouth, covering them completely in his love.

He was healing her, working to cover every ounce of hurt within her with his love. He sought out every muscle that tensed in terror to lavish it in his love. He wanted to replace every inch of her covered in darkness with the memory of him making love to her, of him loving her.

He whispered his love to her over and over again. The number of kisses only rivaled by those words of love, the entire night a constant reminder of the safety that existed in his arms.

He took his time, pouring into her. When they did climb, they did it together, releasing any scrap left in bondage into the comfort of one another.

She fell asleep in his arms, not inundated with the thoughts of her pain, but with thoughts of his love.

He didn't sleep. He held her, ready to wage war against any nightmare that dare to disturb her, but they didn't come. Not that night. He had chased them all away with his gentility. He ran his hands about her, soothing her nonetheless. Eventually, he pulled himself from her, pacing about the room. He shook with anger at whoever had left her damaged. He sat, hands clasped, for a while, looking out on the dark of night.

Her body noted the missing warmth as she leaned back in her sleep to delve deeper into his arms. Her eyes pushed open through the sleepiness, and she saw him sitting across the room with his head planted in his hands. He was torturing himself, and it wrenched her heart to know that she played any part. She slipped from bed, wrapping the sheet around her and tugging it along with her as she made her way to him. Robin heard her rise, instantly cursing himself for drawing her out of bed. She sat beside him, resting her lips against his bare shoulder. Her loose hair fell across his chest, tickling his skin. Her hand fled the warmth of the sheet to seek out his. She pulled his hands from his face and held them for a long moment. She saw the anguish in his face despite the fact that he tried to hide it. She suspected he did not want to make this about him, but they were a pair, tethered together by love. Their love, joy, and pain intermingled seamlessly. His hurt and hers were one in the same now; she was just ashamed that her load was so difficult to endure.

"I never told anyone what happened," her declaration was heavy under the burden.

"And, I won't ask you to now. I just want to know how to love you through it." The mix of sincerity and emotion in his voice made her tears instantly spill over.

"I want you to know so you will understand that it wasn't your fault, but I desperately want to protect you from it. I want to protect you from what it made me, from what you have truly gotten yourself into."

It hurt for him to hear her use the dwarf's words.

She kept going, willing herself not to drown in it again, "Earlier, I reacted the way that I did because something sparked," she searched for the right word, "a memory, I guess, from the time when I was Queen. It felt so real, Robin. It was like I was sucked into the moment all over again."

He was drawn in, hanging on every word she spoke. His fears were being realized; he hoped he had been wrong in his deductions.

"He would get angry," her words were chopped as she willed herself to continue, "Because I refused to let him kiss me. I only asked of him one thing, but it seemed to only make him want that part of me more. He would pull my arms above my head until my face was trapped between my shoulders." She was violently shaking, her hands bouncing uncontrollably at the same timbre as her voice.

"The King. He did this to you." It was more of a statement than a question, a statement that incensed him at its necessity.

"He was never violent, just controlling. He was my husband, so he came as he pleased, taking what he needed. I didn't want him," she stopped again, "but I didn't fight him either, at least not at first."

Robin's muscles flared, tensing until the veins began to swell. His anger was reaching an uncontrollable level, a level that the King would need to fear if in his presence.

"That does not matter, Regina. You were a child. You were a victim." She felt as if something ruptured within her chest at his words. No one had ever referred to her as a victim before.

"If he were standing before me," he clenched, but she stopped him.

"I killed him, Robin. He stood between me and what I wanted. He got in the way. At least, that is what I told myself, and I believe it was mostly true. But," she caught her breath, "I also killed him because he took a piece of me that I will never be able to get back. I just didn't understand then that killing him meant sacrificing another part of myself, maybe even a more sacred part."

Robin couldn't imagine how any part of her could be more sacred than her innocence. It was a betrayal of the most beautiful part of her, her love.

"He was no man. A man wouldn't make you submit to his pleasures with no regard for you. He was a monster, Regina."

"Maybe to me. He was also Snow's father and what most thought to be a fair King. I spent years as the _object_ of his affection. It wasn't until I learned to control my magic that he feared coming to me in the night."

She stopped again, trying to gain control of her body. Her words bounced as if made of rubber. Her hands would still be shaking if Robin had not long taken them into his. He stilled them, patiently listening to her story through his obvious anger.

"As many years as I lived trapped in this castle, I spent many times more trying to get back the pieces of myself that I lost to him." Regina shifted, knowing the next part of their conversation may push him to leave her. She was afraid of his rejection and the judgment that he would have been warranted to pass, but she chose to place her truth and her sentencing in the hands of the man she loved. "He may have been a monster, but in my attempt to recover what I lost, I became the same monster that I hated. I did to someone what he had done to me because I thought having control over someone would give me back what I was missing. It would give me control of my body again. Then, when he failed me, I killed him too."

Her voice steadied in talking about their deaths, like she had spent a lifetime desensitizing herself to the concept. It was in stark contrast to how she had forced the words of the King's abuse out.

"I became someone who will _never_ be worthy of having you comfort her through the night's images of those moments."

To her surprise, he never let go of her hands. He never shifted his touch in discomfort; he kept his thumb securely pressed into her palm. His look never once wavered. He was constant, like the sun. Fear rose, however. Regina thought that no one should have to look upon someone like her and offer grace. She did not want to lose him, but she would pay any price for him to know her completely. She owed their love that, she thought.

"You made mistakes, Regina. I also know that you have spent many years trying to make up for them, learn from them. I knew whom you were when we met, when I fell in love with you."

He wanted her to believe him. He wanted her to truly hear him. He hadn't known any of the things she shared with him, but he also knew that she would never be that version of herself again. Her past was in the past, where it belonged.

"How can you say that after everything that I just told you?" She didn't bother to wipe the tears from her face.

Robin dropped to his knees, kneeling before her. He would plead with her to hear him. His hands reached out for her, encircling her.

"I need you to understand. I love _every_ piece of you. I love the parts of you that you think are unlovable, the parts of you that you yourself will never be able to love. I will love them enough for both of us. Regina, I love the pieces of you that are lost, and I want to do everything I can to help restore those to you. I will never stop trying."

His tears mixed with hers as he pulled her from her seat into him on the floor. In that moment, she couldn't fathom why this man loved her as he did, but all Robin could do was pray silent prayers over her, asking that she accept the grace that life had offered her weary heart.

He pulled her to her feet, leading her back to bed. Neither slept, seeking out the comfort of each other's arms instead. Regina rested only in his touch, her saturation in him the only thing keeping her tied to the present. Robin shielded running his hands along her curves. He wasn't seeking affirmation of pleasure; he simply worked to find the remaining wounds of her long life. They waited out the night, nursing their hurts, and they only pulled themselves apart when the sun was well into the morning sky.

She left herself completely naked before him, and he hadn't rejected her. He knew all there was to know, and he loved her anyway. It was another night of intimacy; neither had ever had one like it in comparison. The standard had been set not by passion or pleasurable highs. It was marked by the genuine sharing of hurt, a reliance upon one another and their love. That night, all they had was each other, and they learned that it was enough to see them through.

Rays of the sun poured onto them, casting her hair a shade lighter than her usual ebony color. His body pressed against her back as he fiddled with the loose strands of hair, knowing she was awake but silent. They had spent the rest of the night in silence, exhausted by the words already uttered. She rolled to face him, not backing away a single inch.

She looked to him, scanning his face for regret. She wouldn't blame him for abandoning her, but his smile assured her that being away from her would pain him as much as it would her.

"I love you, Robin. I just realized that I hadn't told you."

He traced his thumb over her lips, "You didn't have to."

Then, she smiled along with him. Both were sad smiles, the weight of the night before still hanging in the air. It would ease with time, they knew.

Regina, Snow, and Charming were leaving for the Dark Forest just after lunch, and there were many preparations to be handled before then.

Regina pulled herself from the security of his arms, opening herself to elements of the world again. She thumbed through her dresses until she found another deep blue dress; these were becoming her favorite. Robin managed to pull his clothes on as well, which was a great feat considering watching her dress was tantalizing to him. He wanted to spend all day wrapped in her, but he knew they couldn't. He settled, instead, for the opportunity to lace up the corset of her dress. He meticulously coiled each button into its loop. As he finished, he pulled her neatly done hair to the side, kissing her neck from behind. She looked up in the mirror, watching him over her shoulder soak in the taste of her skin. His nose stayed pressed to her skin even after his lips released her. They were wordless transactions between two lovers, between soul mates.

"I love you," he mouthed into her skin.

She turned in his arms, wrapping hers around his neck. "I love you too. Always."

He kissed her one last time before watching her walk out of the room.

Regina stepped from their sanctuary, forcing herself to stand tall and find her typical pace of heels clicking on the stone floor. Robin had seen her soul, but she wouldn't allow the rest of the world even a glimpse into her world. The imperfections in her armor wouldn't show.

Her mind flew to the journey ahead. She briefly ran over all of the dangers the Dark Forest had to offer, skimming over all the reasons she should have insisted to go alone. Taking a very pregnant Snow to even the edge of the Dark Forest was not exactly going over lightly with Regina. Who knew what they would find, or if they would, the answer to Rumple's riddle.

_Through the door, step inside. If pure of heart, then she won't hide. _

Regina was could not have cared less that Rumple lost his mind because they shared a history that no one would ever understand, but if his mindlessness landed her on a useless stroll about the woods with Snow and Charming, she may pay him another visit to practice her aim.

Regina found Snow in her room, finishing up any preparations she felt were necessary for the trip.

"Are you almost ready?"

"I thought we weren't leaving until after lunch," Snow whined.

"I would rather get this over with, especially if it is a wasted trip." Regina picked about Snow's things, running her hands over the perfume bottles that sat on her dressing table.

"We have plenty of time, Regina. We will be there and back by nightfall, even if we leave after lunch."

"Fine."

Snow pulled the heavy cloak up into her arms, but Regina put down the bottle she was smelling. "Here, let me." Regina took the cloak from Snow's arms, and settled it about the young woman's shoulders. She pulled her hair from beneath the fabric. "There," she finished. Snow smiled at her, trying not to make Regina uncomfortable, but also needing to take in how far they had come. Regina patronizingly patted her on the shoulder, "Now, let's go. We can eat an early lunch and be on our way." Snow rolled her eyes at Regina's impatience, but she did just as she was told.

The hall was completely empty, much too early to serve a normal lunch. Regina, Snow, and Charming, however, filed in regardless and talked over their day ahead between bites.

"Regina, are you sure we shouldn't bring a few more people along with us? I'm sure that Robin wouldn't mind joining us."

The mention of Robin's name made Regina's face flush. She fidgeted a moment, trying to tell whether or not Snow was intentionally needling her. It wouldn't be out of character, especially considering Snow's interest in them from the beginning. She didn't seem, as far as Regina could tell, to have an ulterior motive in the moment.

"No. Absolutely not. You said yourself that we can make the trip there and back before nightfall. We can handle it. There is no need to endanger anyone else."

Snow thought it was curious how Regina phrased her sentence. Since when was she _openly_ concerned with Robin's safety? She guessed there might be more to his protective speech and handholding during the Council meeting than she originally thought.

They finished their meals, and Regina excused herself. She wanted to see Robin one more time before they left. She stalked off as if on a mission already, but as soon as she rounded the corner, her demeanor shifted. She wandered through the places she thought she might find him; she felt like a child playing hide and seek.

She thought maybe he was in the kitchen with Granny; he had been known to play with Roland there before lunch, helping out in any way he could.

Regina rounded another corner, almost pushed to the point of asking someone where he was when he grabbed her.

He snatched her by the waist into the refuge of an enclave off the main hall, and she laughed with shock when realized that he had been waiting for her. Regina had truly not seen him until he fixed her between him and the wall. She placed a light blow to his lower stomach, drawing out a puff of air and a laugh simultaneously from him.

"I don't like surprises, Hood. You could have been turned to barbeque." She loved this playfulness; she was worried that last night had put a damper on their ever-growing comfort with one another. She clearly had nothing to worry about.

He took her by the shoulders and straightened his face, "You alright?"

She shot his question back at him, "Are _you _alright?"

"Yes. I am."

"Then, I am too," she told him. Their conversation was a bit clunky, but neither cared.

"I was coming to find you. I convinced them to leave earlier in the day and wanted to say goodbye before we left."

"So no lunch then?"

"We ate early. I really want to get going. I have a feeling this could be a long day of looking behind trees with nothing to show for it."

He smiled at the image.

"So, you've had lunch early? You weren't actually meant to leave until later? And, the Charmings were not happy about your bump in the schedule, I presume?"

"Right on all accounts," her pitch sounded like a young girl's; he made her sound like she was plagued with girlish infatuation.

"Good. Then, I don't feel bad about stealing away a few minutes with you." He dipped in to place a simple kiss on her lips. Then, another and another. It was her, though, who lit the fire beneath them. She tilted her head until they fit perfectly together, and her hand went to his belt buckle, her fingers against his skin instantly inflating his desire. She pulled at him until he stepped into her, lifting her onto her toes a bit as his hands found her corset-bound breasts. He broke the kiss, fingers grazing the edge of her corset.

"You, my queen, are a devilish woman. It is not kind to tease me in such a way moments before you must leave."

She tilted her head to the side laughing. She thought for a moment before telling him, "I suppose that it will not hurt them to wait a bit longer." He lifted his eyebrows, trying to discern how exactly she would like to spend this added time, but she didn't let him wonder long. She pulled him in again, kissing him ferociously. He responded in like, grabbing for her hips. It quickly became too difficult for her to keep quiet. The permission she granted him was all he needed to throw himself fully into rousing her. He moved his lips about her neck eliciting whimpers from her that grew in volume as he worked his hands further into the edge of her corset. When they heard footsteps coming down the hall, Regina motioned toward a nearby door, taking him by the hand.

When she opened the door, she didn't bother taking in her surroundings. She used his body to shut the door, making more noise than intended. She worked furiously, pulling at his clothes. She wanted to touch him. His shirt flung across the room, possibly never to be seen again. Her hands traced his body, dragging nails across the play of his muscles until her hands found his buckle again. She smiled at him, loosening the belt as torturously as possible. As her hand found him, she watched him as he put himself into her mercies. This time, she listened to him as he guided her with the rise and fall of his calls. She worked him until he was frenzied, until he couldn't do without her any longer.

Robin pushed her backward into a half-covered armoire. Dust flew up as they thudded into it. He struggled against the corset over and over again, cursing it for keeping parts of her from him. He soon gave up, heading for more sacred ground. He kneeled before her, much in the same way he had the night before. He had pleaded with her to hear him, but now he was pleading with her to allow him to worship her. He found the edge of her dress, pulling it upward until he found the lace standing between them. He shed her of them, draping her leg across one of his shoulders in a motion so fast that Regina did not have time to assist him. His mouth met her hard, roughly drinking her in. Her hands met his hair, threading through with persistence. He was stealing her breath away, whimpers becoming shouts of affirmation. He circled her over and over, reaching a hand into her to heighten her experience. If someone had walked pass the door as his fingers slipped into her, they would surely have heard her enjoyment. He alternately drew circles and lines within her, finding a rhythm that had her head flying back against the armoire. Her hands still pushed at him, propelling him farther into her. When he knew she had reached the top, he stood meeting his lips with her. He brought his leg in to stabilize her before tugging her leg to drape over his. She burned for him; the ache within her needed to be sealed. She guided him to her, not wanting to wait another second before feeling him inside her. He plunged deep into her, hitting new heights. She called out his name, delight on her lips. His tucked his head into her shoulder, trying to stifle his own pleasure at being inside her. With every swing forward, they shifted the doors of the armoire. The pounding of the doors held the same rhythm of his rocks into her. He rocketed to release, pushing himself to help her find it as well. When she did, he shifted their pace, pulling long slow drags into her body. His name came to her lips again, begging him to keep her atop the plateau. Her body was overwhelmed with him.

He pulled himself from her, Regina's hands still holding him in her grasp. It took them a moment to come down from the intensity of their encounter. They held on to one another, allowing their bodies to settle. She laughed into his cheek, breath still heavy with excitement.

"I love you," she told him her breath interrupting each syllable.

"I love you too, and I especially love when we steal away to let me show you how much."

She bite her bottom lip at his comment. No matter how much he had made love to her in the past few days, he still knew how to make her blush.

Her dress fell back into its place, and she righted his disheveled pants. He drew her forward, realizing the back of her dress was covered in dust. They laughed at how filthy they had gotten.

"I suppose that's what we get for making love in a storage closet," he laughed.

"Well, dust me off!"

She turned to give him full access to her backside. Once the traces of their escapade were gone, he pulled the sheet from the armoire, revealing a giant of a piece. She coughed at the lingering dust, explaining to him that this was the room where all of the unused furniture was stored.

They took some time to walk around the room, admiring the discarded furniture. Their bodies never too far from one another. Regina didn't think she would ever get enough of him.

They left the room in a much quieter manner than they entered it. Robin took her hand as the walked to meet Snow and Charming.

She looked far off, like she was deep in thought.

"You have something on your mind," he stated plainly.

Her thoughts broke, and she smiled over at him.

"Worried about this trip," he asked her.

"No. Nothing like that. I'm worried about being presumptuous."

She sounded like a child when she said it. He was puzzled, so he stopped in the middle of the hall. "Presumptuous? To whom?"

"You." Her lips poked out a bit, matching her face with her childlike voice.

"Me? Regina, what in the world?"

"Never mind. It's ridiculous," she tried to laugh off her sudden awkwardness.

"You do remember that we just stole away into a closet to make love in the middle of the day?"

She laughed at his logic.

"You can tell me anything."

"While we were there, I saw some furniture…."

He interrupted her pretending to be both shocked and insulted, "And here I was thinking that I had you preoccupied."

"After, Robin," he was exasperatingly witty. She rolled her eyes at him, laughing. "It's just that I know that _this,_" she motioned between the two of them, " is new, but it feels very…"

"Right?"

She was glad he finished her sentence. "Yes. I just know that I don't want to spend another night without you."

He reached for her cheek, "And you won't have to."

She smiled, realizing just how absurd it had been to worry about whether or not he would be offended by her upcoming suggestion.

"Well, I was just thinking that it might be a good idea to have Roland closer to us, so we can take turns checking on him in the middle of the night." The mother in her flared.

He honestly lost all of her next few words in how touched he was at her suggestion. She would never know how lucky he felt to have her love him, to have her love his son. He was grateful to have the kind of person in their lives that considered his son above all else.

"There are plenty of spare rooms down the hall, and the furniture would work perfectly. I just worry about him being across the castle from us. I mean _you_ are his father, and it is _your_ call." She let her words hang, waiting for his response.

"I love you," was all he said.

She smiled.

"I love you for thinking of him, for treating him just as I know you would Henry. We are lucky to have you."

"I just thought it might be better if we are going to be here for a while."

"I think it will be great. Roland will _love_ that."

They started on their way again. Regina knew Snow would likely have a lot to say about her being late, but it was all well worth the lecture. Robin stopped short of Snow and Charming to whisper, "Be safe, my love," into Regina's ear. She smiled, kissing him modestly on the lips.

Snow tried not to let her mouth stand open as Regina walked up. She made herself not comment on it, but this was going to be a very long trip if she intended to hold in her curiosity.

The three of them left, choosing to go on foot rather than horse. There was plenty of time left in the day, and the Dark Forest was only a few miles away. The horses, Regina had insisted, would draw attention.

As they walked, Regina thought about Henry, Robin, and Roland. She didn't take part much in the conversation between Snow and Charming. She tried to imagine a time when the three people she loved most were in the same room. That would be her happy ending, she thought.

They made it to the Dark Forest's edge; Snow fell back to walk alongside Regina. Regina knew her well enough to know that the small talk she was attempting to make was the precursor to whatever was making her fidget and hold an abnormal cadence to her words. Regina finally stopped walking and shot Snow a look.

"Just ask, Snow. I can't talk about cribs and well-water anymore."

"Ask about what, Regina?" It irritated Regina that she was playing dumb.

"Robin and I love each other. We want to be together, and that scares the hell out of me. Satisfied?" Every word was said with a certain bite, and her tone left it clear that there was nothing else to discuss. Snow wasn't put off, though, by the Queen.

Snow's smile let her know that her questions had been answered.

"So, you two um…." Snow curled her lips, asking for the inappropriate.

Charming turned on his heel at Snow's question, double-timing in the opposite direction. He wanted to un-hear the question, and he certainly did not want to know the answer.

Regina scoffed at her audacity, but she also couldn't hide the pink cheeks brought wide by a suppressed smile.

"Oh, Regina. You don't have to be ashamed of it. There's nothing quite like being with your true love," Snow winked and whole-heartedly laughed.

They continued on their way, less tension hanging above them; however, that ease would not last very long.

_One more chapter coming soon. Then, a brief hiatus for finals! I have to get this story out of my head first, though! Let me know what you think. Thanks for reading. _


	10. Chapter 10

In the Lonely Hour

First-timer. Nothing belongs to me except an old Ford and a cat named Larry. All feedback appreciated. Thanks!

*Set in the Enchanted Forest during the missing year. Rated M. Depicts rape and the emotional trauma associated.

Chapter Ten: Make It to Me

Her heavy heart lightened for a moment when she saw him sound to sleep in her bed. It was late; the trek back from the Dark Forest had been both long and wordless. She pulled the clothes from her body, replacing them with much lighter attire and wishing that she could do the same with what she knew was coming in just a few hours.

As she sat on the side of the bed, she felt his hand graze her back.

"I think you've spoiled me. I cannot sleep very well without you here."

He smiled sleepily, but when she didn't turn to look at him, he knew something had gone awry.

"Regina," he sat up and pulled himself nearer to her. "Did you find what you were looking for?"

"Yes."

Robin felt like he was dragging the words from her.

"Is everyone alright? Did something happen?" He was trying not to sound frantic.

"We have to cast the Dark Curse, again." She sounded so tired.

He was overwhelmed with this new plan. "But, you can't. The thing you love most is Henry." Robin knew it wasn't possible.

"I'm not casting it." Regina had yet to turn to him, her eyes remained fixed on a far corner of the room.

"Who then?"

"Snow. She is going to crush Charming's heart." She could barely believe the words were coming out of her mouth.

"But, he will die."

Regina finally met Robin's eyes, passing along her understanding of the consequences.

"There has to be another way," he told her.

"There's not. I would have found it by now. I would have gone back to Henry if I could." Robin didn't bother expounding on the thought, knowing she was right.

They sat for a moment, sharing in the weight of the knowledge.

He moved closer to her, resting his lips on the back of her neck and hands falling to the sides of her hips. Her grabbing his hand was the most significant response she lent to him since coming in the room.

"There was a time in my life that I would have reveled in his death, but now… I can't help thinking that this is not a price that Henry would want us to pay, even if it meant we would be in the same realm again with he and Emma."

"Charming would not leave his family lightly. He knows the decision he is making, Regina."

"Henry doesn't even know who I am," her voice skipped, shifting the conversation to the rest of the thoughts swirling in her mind.

He pulled her back into him, fighting what he knew was a losing battle to comfort her. Regina closed her eyes, trying to block out the conflict that she felt. She felt guilty in the moment for being so consumed with her own desire that she blocked out the reality of Snow and Charming's sacrifice. This curse would bring her a chance of seeing her son again, but the high price of the sacrifice would cause him a great deal of pain if he were ever to remember. She couldn't win.

"You'll find them, my love. He will remember you. Just have faith."

She gave a spiteful laugh at his suggestion.

"Robin, there is something else that you need to know. This magic can be unpredictable. We cannot be sure that everything will be just as it is now," she told him motioning between the two of them.

"If this is the chance to save everyone, for you to be with your son again, then we will do whatever we must. Our children always come first. We will find a way through the consequences." He didn't say it lightly, understanding exactly what they were putting at risk.

Regina loved him so much. She wasn't asking his permission; she didn't have to. She would do the same for Roland, without question or hesitation. They were weaved together as a family, not just as a couple.

"When does all of this happen," he asked.

"Just before daybreak."

She lay back, falling into his arms. Her hair across his chest rose with every breath he took. Soon, they drifted to sleep.

_He smiled the sort of smile that only he could. She was weak to him, and nothing had every felt so good. The air smelled of horses, a familiar scent that she knew well. The doors creaked against the breeze that blew through the stable. Her laugh lifted to the rafters. Robin took her hands, pulling her toward the door. She could hear their sons outside playing. They walked past the same doors that she opened as a child, the wood tarnished from years of wear and tear. Henry and Roland ran to them. This was her happy ending. The men she loved, standing together. When it happened, it happened quickly. A darkness covered them. When he fell, he fell hard. Robin collapsed to her left, the boys stood looking horrified. "Mom!" Henry yelled. Roland went to his father, trying to wake him as if from a nap. But, he wouldn't be waking up. Regina stood motionless. She couldn't react. She only realized what happened as the ashes of his heart threaded through her hand and onto the ground. "I thought you'd changed," Henry told her. _

She flew out of his arms, her body prickled with sweat. Her hand went straight to his chest, spreading her fingers over him and searching for the normal rhythm of his heart. Hers, however, was beating wildly. It was a dream. He was fine.

She was startled by a laugh coming from the corner of the room. Though the darkness covered her green skin, the laugh gave her away.

"How progressive of you, Regina. A queen falling in love with a thief."

"That was you." Regina seethed with anger knowing Zelena caused the visions. Her arm went to Robin's, trying to wake him.

"Oh no, he won't be waking up."

Regina panicked, shaking him harder, "Robin!"

"Don't worry. He isn't dead. That would ruin all of my fun."

Regina reached again for Robin's chest. She needed proof that his heart was still beating, even though she felt it only moments before.

"You see, I learned something about you, Regina. Attacking you is useless. It's your damn martyr complex, so noble of you that it's sickening. But," she let her word hang, "attacking the ones you love. Well, that's much more productive. You made one fatal mistake, dear. You fell in _love_. You offered it up on a silver platter to me!" The way she said _love_ made Regina's stomach turn. "I'm going to make your worst nightmare come true. Isn't that delicious?"

"I will never hurt him."

"Oh yes you will. You'll rip his heart out, just like our mother did to… What was his name again? Daniel?"

"Well, I see someone has been doing their homework." Regina struggled for some control in the conversation.

Zelena smiled, coming only now into enough light for Regina to see her face. Regina wondered for a moment how similar they must have looked, her the Evil Queen and her sister the Wicked Witch. They shared the similar sounds of heels clicking, audacious clothing, and vile intentions. Years ago, they wouldn't have been that different.

"There is nothing that will ever make me touch his heart," Regina told her, shaking off the thoughts of resemblance for her newer self.

"Well, it is your heart or his, little sister. But, I am not nearly as inelegant as you or Cora. No. Much too literal for my liking. I'm more," Zelena thought for a moment, "metaphorical, so to speak."

Zelena walked close, sitting on the edge of the bed near Robin. She trailed her finger down Robin's bare chest. Regina's teeth clenched together. Regina restrained herself from giving into her tensed muscles desire to lunge toward this witch. She knew she couldn't protect them both from her. It wouldn't be wise.

"Jealous?" Regina spouted.

Zelena stood, broom appearing in her hand. "If you think I am bluffing, dear, then you should remember the bloodline that we share. We don't bluff." Zelena sounded a bit more agitated, and Regina was satisfied that she had hit a nerve.

"You will break his heart, or I will kill him and that mop top that he calls a son."

"And what do you gain from that?" Regina was steely-eyed. She wouldn't let her panic of hearing her threaten Roland show.

"Nothing at all. That's the juiciest part."

Zelena lifted from the ground, laughing at how she was winning.

As soon as Zelena was out of sight, Regina bolted from the bed and out the door toward Roland. She flung the door open to find ruffled curls spread across the pillow, his nose crinkling and breath skipping a beat at the sound of her opening the door. She tried to slow herself down, but it wasn't until she walked to him and brushed the curls from his eyes that she was able to return to bed.

It was almost time to meet Snow and Charming, Regina knew. She lay beside Robin, watching him sleep. She knew that tomorrow, she would have to summon something from deep within her in order to protect them. She wouldn't risk Zelena making good on her threat. Zelena would surely be swept away with them in this curse, so going to Storybrooke wouldn't protect them. She would do what needed to be done as long as it meant he and Roland would be safe.

It was just as well, she thought. She knew that all of this was too good to be true. It couldn't last forever, no matter how much they loved one another. No matter how tightly they held on to one another, something would always come between her and her happiness.

She didn't waste the time of trying to fall asleep again. Though she longed to be next to him, it was torture to know it would be the last time. This couldn't go on. She pulled on the same dress she had taken off only a few hours before. It was unlike her to care so little about what she wore, but none of it would matter in a few hours. None of it mattered now, when she was about to break both of their hearts.

She heard him waking up, as if on cue. The sun would be up soon, and Snow and Charming were no doubt waiting for her.

"I'm going with you," were the first words he spoke to her.

"No. I'm going alone." She closed her eyes, mustering any of the Evil Queen she may have left within her. She needed the woman who convinced a genie to betray his liberator. She needed the woman who took what she wanted. Regina pulled her shoulders back, and her face went dark.

He thought is was odd that she would answer him so harshly, but he knew that what she was going to need to do would be hard on her. When he walked toward her, he felt an ice in the air.

"Regina, I want to go. I want to be there with you." His hands went to her shoulders.

She shrugged off his touch as if it revolted her. "Don't you get it thief? This is done. I have no use for you anymore. I have what I want at my finger tips, playing house with you if finished."

"Regina, you don't mean that." He was baffled. This wasn't her, but whoever it was, he couldn't stop her.

"Don't I? If you honestly think that a queen could ever love an outlaw, then you are more pathetic than I thought!" She yelled at him loud enough to send an echo down the hall.

"Regina, I love you."

He almost broke her when he told her that he loved her, but she found resolve. She walked right up to him, almost nose to nose with him. She looked him directly in his eyes, "Well, I don't love you." She laughed at the way he recoiled for her words. Regina left him where he stood and slammed the door behind her.

Robin was dazed. It escalated, for what he did not know. He had no idea how everything had gotten so out of hand, so senseless. That was what bothered him most. It didn't make sense. She knew him. She knew that he loved her, and he knew that she loved him.

When the door shut, Regina fell crumpled against it for a moment. She inhaled sharply, as if being released from the tight box that was the Evil Queen. It took every ounce of anger left within her to tell him the lie of not loving him, but if it saved them, it would be worth the hurt that she knew would stay with her forever. Her fists clenched the fabric of her dress. She couldn't stop to lick her wounds because she would run back into his arms. She didn't have the time because she had to meet Snow and Charming.

She pushed herself off the door, drawing air into her lungs for strength. She straightened her posture and wiped her eyes. She walked down the deserted hall until she reached a clump of people gathering, no doubt the Charmings had spread word of their impending sacrifice. Snow gravitated toward Regina.

"Zelena was here. We need to do this now," Regina told her. Snow's eyes were tinted the same shade of red as Regina's, and the Queen's heart broke again for them. The two of them, she thought, would not be of much use to anyone by the time this curse was cast.

Snow nodded in agreement, her hand going to Charming's elbow. They found the center of the castle. Regina placed the ingredients carefully into the cauldron, the bubbling giving off the smell of revenge. This curse was meant to hurt, not save, and its scent reeked of it. It was ready.

Regina gave them a moment, knowing it would be their last together. She thought of Robin, and she had pity on Snow and Charming. At least she would have the comfort of knowing Robin and Roland were safe, at least they would be alive. Snow could not say the same.

"I won't lie. This is going to hurt," Regina told him.

Back in Regina's chambers, Robin was still reeling from her words. He couldn't let things end this way. Something was wrong, and he needed to find her. He ran down the corridor until he reached the bedroom where Roland slept; he grabbed the boy up from his sleep, resting his head on his shoulder. He kept running until he found the group of people huddled about the hall. They knew the curse was coming. Robin found little John, depositing the boy in his arms.

"John, have you seen Regina? I need to find her."

Robin was breathless from running.

"She went with Snow and Charming. I heard her tell Snow that Zelena was here. They had to hurry. Robin, the curse is coming."

"Zelena?"

The pieces clicked into focus for him. Something had happened. He had to find Regina.

She held the Prince's heart in her hand, and then Snow was left to do what she must. Regina watched as they sacrificed their love for one another. Their eyes were locked, trying to savor every moment until their last. Charming fell lifeless to the ground, and Snow fell along with him. Regina longed to have an answer, but nothing came.

Regina's heart jumped when she heard the familiar laugh of her sister. Green powder left Zelena's hand, dropping into the billowing smoke of the cauldron.

"So sad that he had to die in vain," she told them. "And, good luck defeating me if you cannot even remember who I am." Regina flushed with the desire to kill her, not wanting to waste a moment more listening to her laughing.

"Regina! Do something, please."

"I can't Snow. Once the curse has been cast, it cannot be stopped."

Snow sat silent for a moment, the smoke glowing green now and growing higher. Then, Snow was flooded with the solution. "Regina, I need you to rip out my heart."

This wasn't the first time Snow asked Regina to take her heart, but this time, she had no desire to do so. They had come too far.

"Regina, please. Charming and I have always been of one heart. I know my heart is strong enough for both of us!"

"Snow," Regina more like Snow's mother in that moment than she ever had, "This isn't like plucking a flower. If it doesn't work, you will die."

"But I won't. Regina, please. I know it will work."

"How? How can you know that?"

"Faith! I have hope. I know it will work, please."

Regina kneeled in front of Snow. A tear rolled down her face at the thought of losing the young woman, especially by her own hand. She did as the young woman asked, reaching into her chest and pulling her heart from its place. Regina looked at Snow, and twisted. At Snow's wince, the heart halved, and Regina pulled it apart. When she looked down at the red glow, the two parts still beat. Relief waved over her, and she wasted no time putting the hearts back in their chests. Regina kept a firm hand on Snow, waiting for a sign that her faith had not been misplaced. Charming gasped, sucking in the air his lungs needed.

Regina stood, amazed that it worked. They both lived; they beat the price of magic. The smoke rose high in the sky, green mixing with purple. It fled the cauldron, reaching for Regina's feet.

"Regina!"

She heard his voice through the smoke. It was beginning to rise high, overtaking most of the room.

"Robin?"

"She threatened you, didn't she? That's why you said all of those things."

Regina's eyes fell as Robin's hands reached for her.

"Regina, tell me the truth."

When she didn't say anything, he took her by the shoulders, "Regina, please. Whatever she said, we can find our way through it."

"She was going to kill you and Roland. She will still try to kill you, Robin. Don't you see? This is what loving me looks like!"

He didn't respond, he just took her in his arms.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," she told him. "I do love you."

"We will beat her. We will find a way."

"Robin, you don't understand. Where we are going, we won't remember each other. We will forget everything between us. Zelena made sure of that."

"No, Regina. That's impossible. I don't think I could ever forget meeting you."

"Just," she choked out, "Make it to me."

He leaned in and kissed her as the green smoke engulfed them, whisking them away to another realm and separating them.

Regina opened her eyes to see the morning light streaming through her window. Nothing made sense. They were taken away by Pan's curse, but she was here in her bed and silk pajamas. She jumped from her bed, going to Henry's room. He wasn't there. The blue blankets lay neatly across his bed, untouched. She hugged herself tightly, trying to comfort herself from the absence of her son. It hadn't been a dream, but she didn't understand why they weren't back in the Enchanted Forest. This was a fate worse than death, living in a house where they made so many memories.

She needed to find Mary Margaret and David. There had to be an explanation. She found her closet, still full of clothes. As she rid herself of the silk pajamas, something took over her senses. Honey and tobacco? It was such an odd smell, certainly not hers. It was foreign, but oddly familiar.

_Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think! _


	11. Chapter 11

In the Lonely Hour

Chapter Eleven: Hard Way Home

Finding them hadn't helped. It only made things more confusing. Snow's obvious condition gave them a timeline, but it also made the wrench of pain she felt for Henry surge a bit deeper into her chest. Every inch of sidewalk they walked together, every book still left lying about the house, every breeze carrying fall leaves; everything reminded her of him.

Now, sitting at her kitchen counter and nursing a glass of red wine, she let her tears trail freely down her cheeks. She had surpassed the urge to judge herself for her weakness, and the salty taste of her tears intermingled with the dryness of the wine. She noticed the wine shaking within the glass, staring apathetically at the ripples as signs of her exhaustion. Her fingers traced the rim, finding an odd comfort in the lack of imperfections in the glass.

She jumped a bit, a knock disturbing her otherwise soundless moment. Red wine stained the sleeve of her silk pajamas, and she let out an irritated groan. It was well into the night; she wasn't sure what time exactly, but it was much too late for anyone to be knocking on her door.

When she heard the door creak open, she knew it was Snow impatiently making her way into the house. Regina silently cursed herself for the decision to turn on the kitchen light.

"This is not the Motel 6, and I did not leave the light on for you." Regina didn't bother to get up from the counter, still trying to clean the clearly stained sleeve.

Snow smiled; she knew from the spirited greeting that Regina was holding it together, at least. "I knocked, but you never came to the door."

"_Normal_ people would take that as a sign, dear," Regina told her patronizingly.

"I couldn't sleep, and it seems that I'm not alone in that." It was only now that Snow could see the paths traced by salt on Regina's cheeks and the red in her eyes. She was glad she had seen the light and felt bold enough to come inside. She leaned against the counter, her belly nudging the side uncomfortably.

Regina cut her eyes to Snow, trying to look mostly irritated and not in need of someone to talk to. Whether she liked it or not, Snow knew her better than anyone left in the world, and because of that, she always found it odd when Snow sought her out like this. When Regina realized the look on Snow's face was because of the obvious sign of tears already shed, she felt self-conscious, wiping her cheeks in much the same way as had her sleeve.

"I'm fine," was her automatic reaction to Snow's sympathy.

"You don't have to be, you know. We are at _your _house, and I have seen you cry before."

Regina rolled her eyes at the comment.

"I know where Archie is, and he doesn't make unsolicited house calls in the middle of the night."

Snow smiled, trying to think of any topic that might allow her to linger for a bit.

"We're going to find them, Regina."

"They could be anywhere," she responded dismissively.

"You created their memories. Surely, we can figure out something."

Regina took another sip of wine in order to buy herself enough time to not take the statement as an accusation.

"I didn't mean anything by that; I just meant that maybe we can figure out where they may have gone from those memories."

Snow really did know Regina; unfortunately, her words occasionally got ahead of that knowledge.

Regina took a breath, "There is nothing. The memories I gave them had no bearing on where they went from there. Besides," she paused not ready to stomach the next part, "Even if we find them, they will _not _remember us. We will be complete strangers to them." Regina stood with the word _strangers_, making her way to the opposite side of the kitchen and as far away from Snow as possible without leaving the room. She pushed her palms flush against the cold marble edge of the counter, literally fighting the tears.

"Even if we find him, he won't remember me. He won't remember the time we spilled brownie batter all over this floor or how he would read Harry Potter to me while I cooked dinner. Every room in this house, every inch of this town is him. I should find comfort in that, being closer to him, but," she stopped again. "But I don't."

Snow couldn't tell if it was guilt she felt or hurt, maybe both.

"I know," was all Snow could muster in response.

Snow took the chance, rising from her seat and falling into place alongside Regina. Her hand covered Regina's, the force of Regina's grasp on the counter leaving her hands splayed with red and white spots. They stood their wordless for a long time, and Regina eventually broke the silence with a sad laugh, "Henry tried to super glue a vase back together once. He glued his hand to one of the pieces," Regina shared letting another tear fall into the prior's path.

"We are going to find them. I promise."

Snow stayed for a while longer, not to talk but to listen. Neither said much, and by the time Snow left, both women were ready to find the sleep that previously eluded them.

Regina pulled herself up the stairs, stopping to look into Henry's room for the tenth time since waking up. She leaned against the doorway, dropping her head to the side to meet the wood. She breathed him in for a moment, wishing for an ounce of hope.

The next day, she kept mostly to herself. She wandered about the house, pretending to be busy. Her needless tidying only stopped when Charming called her over to the loft.

She thought about whether the formality of knocking was necessary, considering Snow's break-in the night before, she didn't bother. Several people were strewn about the tiny apartment, filling most of its seats.

"Sorry, I'm late," she whispered to Snow. Charming was making some grand speech about finding Emma. His grandstanding did get on her nerves, and had the words not concerned finding Henry, then he would certainly elicit a few eye rolls. The truth was, she didn't care who, how, or by what means she was reunited with Henry. She would bow down at Charming's feet if he could figure out a way to bring her son back to her.

"Does anyone remember anything?" At this point in his speech, Regina couldn't help but to roll her eyes at Charming.

"This is idiotic. Let's focus on what we know," Regina told him. "We know that it has been at least a year, and we know that our memories of that year are gone. We also know that there are people in the town that were not previously here, so we made it to the Enchanted Forest. Someone cast the curse again. We just need to figure out who."

"Ironic that you'd be asking that question," Grumpy chimed in.

Rather than defend herself, she just ignored him; however, the seed had been planted.

The conversation continued in a circular fashion, accomplishing nothing at all except riling people up. Regina could see the dark hall this was going down, and she excused herself from the room before she had to listen to another explanation as to why she had to be to blame for this curse. The truth was, she couldn't remember, but she also knew she was much to smart to subject herself to this sort of torture. Any plan of hers would have been well thought out.

The next few days passed by slowly. There was no need to search for answers because there were no answers to be had. Regina stayed in mostly, only venturing to her vault once to make sure everything was as she had left it. It was. Untouched.

On the fourth day back in Storybrooke, she decided to make her way to Granny's for breakfast. She had seen Snow everyday since being back; it seemed like a habit she did not know they had formed. She wasn't sure that she liked it, and she went back and forth as to why she thought Snow kept calling or dropping by. All of the contact, though, made it even more difficult to understand why she had not called her to tell her Emma and Henry was back in town.

Her cup of coffee hit the floor, shattering into almost as many pieces as Henry's vase. Her heart stopped, and for a moment, she couldn't breathe. Her son, looking a year older, was sitting at a corner table with the Charmings as if no time had passed at all.

"Oh," she stuttered, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you."

Emma quickly made her way to Regina, taking her elbow with the intention of leading her to the back of Granny's, but Regina was hesitant to take her eyes off the boy.

"Regina, we need to talk," Emma told her.

She peeled herself from him, following Emma. She wasn't sure when her heart had resumed beating, but the rest of her might not ever find its normal rhythm again.

"He looked right through me."

"Because he doesn't remember you," Emma said not knowing how to lessen the blow.

"But, you clearly do. Why are you here?"

"Storybrooke, a new curse, missing year. What do you think?"

"What I mean is how did you know to come back? I gave you and Henry a new life, new memories."

"Hook found me, gave me a potion that made me remember. There wasn't enough for Henry."

Regina huffed, "Well, how convenient."

She thought for a moment, knowing she needed to address what was sure to be the next question Emma asked.

"Look, I didn't cast this curse if that is what you are thinking."

"The thought did cross my mind."

"Why would I do this? Why would I erase an entire year of my life?"

"Maybe it was a bad year for you. Maybe this curse was your way of getting me to bring Henry back here."

Regina stopped her, "With no memory of me? If I wanted my son back, do you think I would put myself through this kind of torture? I cast curses to hurt other people, Miss Swan. Not myself."

"Maybe so, but I need to start crossing people off the list."

"How?" Regina responded almost before Emma could finish her sentence. "By walking around using your superpower on everyone?" Regina did her best not to be distracted by Emma's arrogance.

"You got a better idea?"

Regina thought for a moment, "We could help each other."

"How?"

"By following along with what I am sure everyone in this town already thinks. Blame me, and that will buy us time to figure out who really did this to us. At some point, this person will make a mistake. Do you still have the bottle of memory potion?"

"Yeah, but there is nothing left. Maybe a drop or two, but not enough to work."

"Bring it to me. It may be enough to work with."

Emma called a town meeting both to address the situation of missing dwarves as well as set into motion Regina's plan. It was a long shot, but they were willing to try anything at this point.

They sat in the car, waiting for the person responsible for this mess to reveal him or herself. Regina thought about Henry. She thought about how her heart couldn't tell the difference between being realms away or blocks away at this point. She missed him. She was thankful, oddly, to have Emma on her side this round of adventure. She was truly touched when Emma believed her. It was in such contrast to how they began their friendship, or whatever it was. When she had admitted to Emma that she couldn't live without Henry, it was the complete truth. Henry would always be her anchor to happiness.

"So, do we just sit here and wait?" There were only so many times Regina could turn the events of the last few days around in her head before getting bored with them.

"Until the person who cast the curse makes a move on your office."

"Is this _really _what you do?" Regina didn't mean to sound as offensive as her question no doubt did.

"Yeah. It's called a stakeout," Emma answered naturally, ignoring the obvious disbelief in Regina's tone.

But, Regina persisted, "And you don't get bored?"

"I don't know. You find ways to pass time. Eat, talk, mostly watch—which is what we should be doing right now."

Regina took a breath, mustering the courage to ask about her son's life in New York, "Does he have friends?"

"Does who have friends?"

"Henry. Does he have any friends in New York?" Regina's question was genuine. Emma knew the answer would be both comforting and hurtful at the same time, but she obliged her nonetheless.

"Yeah. He has a lot of friends," her tone lightened, "No girlfriends yet, at least none that I know about."

"So he's happy? His life is good there." Regina thought of how difficult the past few years had been for Henry.

"Yeah. I almost didn't come back because of that."

"Well, why did you?"

Emma thought for a moment, "Because he may not remember, but I do. And, I know what he would say, 'A hero would come back.'"

"He would say that," Regina told her with pride in her voice. She was so incredibly proud of the son she had raised. Henry was the sort of boy who saw the best in people and fought for what he believed was right.

"Are you sure you don't want to meet him? We can just tell him you are an old friend like Mary Margaret and David."

Regina was shaking her head before her words caught up, "It would be too hard." She didn't know if she could handle being introduced to her son as anyone but his mother. Regina knew she had done many terrible things in her life, but this torture was worse than anything she could have dreamed up.

"I can't imagine," but Emma's sentence was cut off by the shadow moving through Regina's office. Their plan worked.

When the cloud of green smoke disappeared in the corner of the room, Regina was stunned. This wasn't possible. No magic was strong enough to break a blood lock. Her mind filed through her catalog of magic knowledge, finding no answer to what just occurred.

"No one can break through blood magic, no matter how powerful they are."

"Then who are we dealing with," Emma replied. She didn't know much about magic, but she knew this was really bad by the baffled look on Regina's face.

Regina went to work picking up the glass of the broken bottles from the floor. Her mind continued to round the scenario, the colored glass collecting in her hands. These ingredients were difficult to find, and now, many of them were lying about on the floor, useless. She was too busy trying to find the missing pieces in her mind to worry about that now though.

"Let's go and talk to Mary Margaret and David about this." Emma's words were clunky, and neither of the women really believed talking to the Charmings would solve the problem.

Regina looked up from the floor, eyeing Emma.

"What?" Emma wasn't convinced by her own words, but the curse and its caster were not the problem she was now focused on.

"I know what you are doing, Emma. I appreciate it, but I told you. It is too hard."

"Regina, do you know the first person that I thought about when Hook gave me that potion?"

Regina cut her eyes toward Emma again; the snarky comments she withheld lingering behind her eyes.

Emma continued, "Well, after I thought about how I was going to upheave my son's life, I thought about you."

Regina was honestly surprised.

"I know how hard it was for you to give him up, and I felt like I owed it to him to bring him back to the woman who raised him, to his mom. I owed it to both of you. Even if he couldn't remember, I could."

Regina couldn't look at her, and she silently prayed that Emma couldn't see how her lips were trembling under her words.

"So please, come and meet our son."

As they approached the door, Regina's stomach turned in knots. He wouldn't remember her, and as much as she wanted to bury her nose in his hair to breathe him in, she couldn't. This was her son, but right now, she wasn't his mother.

"Maybe this isn't a good idea."

"It's gonna be fine. Trust me."

Regina did trust her, but this wasn't about trusting Emma Swan. She walked into the apartment, trying not to shake her purse from her hand. She took more time than necessary to close the door, trying to keep composure. She could hear his voice, deeper than the moment they said goodbye. She soaked in the sweet sound,

"Come'ere. I want you to meet someone," Emma told him, bring him over to Regina. "This is Regina Mills. She's the mayor of this town, and she wanted to meet you."

Regina had never suffered from stage fright. Years of being queen, and then mayor, left her with a certain comfort on stage. In fact, there weren't many things she was indeed afraid of, but her worst fear was being realized. She was standing before the person she loved most, a forgotten woman. Pressure rose in her chest, and she fell entranced by him. The curse had stolen away a year of their lives, but they hadn't known it. Most of the time, it felt like Pan's curse had washed over them only last week, but standing here in front of her son, her body felt the pain of missing him for a year, even if her mind didn't. His hair fell differently, and his voice was a bit deeper. He was nearly as tall as she was now, and it all converged into a package that almost mocked her, taunting missed moments in his life.

"Is something wrong," he asked, looking to Emma.

His voice snapped her from the trance, "No. No, no. Nothing's wrong. You're, um, mother just told me a lot about you. I hear you like school, and that you are good at English."

Henry looked as any child would if a stranger knew information about them. "Um, yeah. Why'd she tell you all this?"

Regina thought for a moment, sincerity rising within her. "Because she couldn't be prouder of you." Emma's eyes lowered to the floor, thankful for the compliment and the giver.

Regina needed to keep talking, to avoid crying and to elongate her time with him as much as possible. "Uh, while you're in town, I was thinking, maybe, I could give you a tour sometime. You know, show you around. Maybe," their eyes twinkled in that familiar way, "we can stop for ice cream."

"Yeah. I'd like that," he stopped for a beat trying to wiggle his way back to his Gameboy, "Um, it was nice meeting you."

She stepped toward him to hug him, a habit that she would never want to give up. His hand came between them, reaching out like a gentleman to shake hers. His motion stopped her; she thought a moment before pulling the glove from her hand. She pulled a weak smile to her face before taking his hand in hers. Touching him sent warmth shooting through her body; he was really here. His touch was an injection of hope. Though he may not remember how she held his hand at the park are he toddled from swing to swing or how he kissed her hand as he played out the stories they read at night together, she did. She remembered every detail of their lives together. Being close to him and the promise of an afternoon together was enough for her in the moment.

"How was that? You okay," Emma asked her.

"It was a start."


	12. Chapter 12

In the Lonely Hour

Nothing belongs to me except an old Ford and a cat named Larry. All feedback greatly appreciated. Thanks for all of your likes, reviews, and your time in general!

Chapter Twelve: It Only Takes a Moment

There wasn't a question in her mind about what needed to be done. It didn't matter to her that he didn't remember her. All that mattered was that there were flying monkeys roaming around Storybrooke and wisking people away, and she would die before she let her son be one of them.

Her laser focus was disrupted by the passing reflection she saw in the mirror. She stopped, carefully combing through her hair and pulling back into place the strands that always found themselves straying. She took a deep breath, knowing her stubborn will wouldn't protect her from how difficult today would be. It was easier to protect her son today than it was to protect herself, and it would always be more important. She broke away from the mirror, heading for the door.

When she made it to the Charming's apartment, she took a deep breath before opening the door. She didn't bother knocking. Snow greeted her with a smile, and Emma instantly began asking her questions about the mythology of flying monkeys and the Wicked Witch. If she'd admit it, it amused her that Emma thought she knew everything about magic, even flying monkeys. The truth was, she knew as much about flying monkeys as anyone else who had seen the Wizard of Oz.

She hadn't watched it until Henry was nine years old. He asked to watch it, but before she agreed to a movie night, she stayed up late one night to watch the movie before her prince. She wasn't sure what it was about, but she knew, better than anyone, that witches and magic could be scary. She needed to be sure. Even after a conversation about what to expect, he was a bit spooked by the Wicked Witch. She remembered how he asked to sleep with her that night, and as much as she hated the thought of him being afraid, she relished being able to comfort him. Soon after, Henry would start to ask questions about his adoption. She wondered back then if the stories they read together and the movies they watched together had been how he pieced together his perception of her. To him, she was Volemort or the Wicked Witch. She was just another villain who was incapable of love. Regina always found it unfortunate that any person could be painted in such a limiting light, no colors or texture just flat and one-dimensional.

"So now that we know who we are dealing with, how do we find this Wicked Witch?" Charming seemed as eager and determined as always.

"Might I suggest we start by asking if anyone has seen a woman with green skin running around," Hook chimed in.

Regina often wondered how Hook got in from the rain, much less survive as many close encounters with death as he had. "We're cursed in Storybrooke. She'll look like any one of us." She could hardly hide her annoyance.

"Let's start somewhere we know she's been, Regina's office," Emma offered up.

"I went over it with a fine tooth comb. She left no trace."

"But you were combing for magic, maybe there's physical evidence that you missed."

"Good idea. We'll track her," Charming agreed.

"If you want to waste your time playing Nancy Drew, then be my guest. But, we can't let Henry wander around alone with that Witch and her flying monkeys out there," Regina did her best to redirect everyone.

"Especially since one of those flying monkeys could turn out to be his father." Hook was always well-timed.

"Still no sign of Neal?" Snow asked.

"No," Emma told her.

"Point being, someone needs to protect Henry. He doesn't even know what is going on," Regina interrupted them.

"I'm guessing that you are volunteering?"

"If you find anything, then call me," Regina told her starting for the door.

"Just remember, he thinks we're here because I'm on a case."

"Well, look whose gotten good at lying," Regina knew where this was headed.

"Just don't let anyone slip up. As far as Henry knows, you're just Madam Mayor and that's it."

"I'm well aware of how Henry sees me." The pain rose in Regina's chest, but she turned to leave before any more could be spoken about it. Henry may not remember who she is, but that wouldn't stop her from being his mother.

It wasn't until she reached the door of the diner that she realized she did not have much in the way of a game plan for the day, but this was her son. She would figure it out.

"Henry?" She barely recognized her own voice; it was timid and shy.

The boy looked up from his book, smiling back at her with wide eyes. "Good Morning, Madam Mayor." His tone was exactly what she would expect from a child speaking to someone they barely knew. It was formal and clearly a bit distracted.

"What are you reading?" She took a seat beside him, fighting the urge to nudge her shoulder into his.

"Harry Potter," he smiled. "It's the _Half-Blood Prince_."

"Haven't you already read that one?" She couldn't stop the words, and out of the gate, her one-sided ease with him was betraying her attempts to keep up the ruse.

He looked over at her, ready to question how she knew, but before he could, she finished, "I mean, hasn't everyone?"

"You've read Harry Potter?" His smile made her stomach flip. There it was, the smile she had seen a million times.

"Sure, I have." She turned to look for Granny, hoping to distract herself with coffee. "So, I talked to Emma, and she said it was," she paused, "Well, I would like to spend the day with you if that is alright." She waited, silently praying that he would say yes.

"Oh, where's my mom?"

She hoped he hadn't seen her breath hitch at his question, "She's working on her case today, and she asked me to keep an eye on you, not that you need a babysitter." She smiled at him.

She secretly hoped that he would suddenly remember her, that her voice or her smile would have the magic effect of sparking his memory. If ever she longed for one of those unexplainable moments, it was now. She wanted more than anything for her love to be enough to bring him back home.

Henry's eyes brightened, "You did promise me ice cream."

For a moment, she felt the familiarity of family, his quick wit and her inability to keep from being amused by his antics for ice cream.

"Ice cream sounds wonderful, after lunch that is," she added that last bit after a beat and watched as the boy responded just as he always had to her, with a solemn nod of his head as if they had found the terms of a peace treaty.

"Deal."

They sat for a while, enjoying their breakfast. Regina expended all of her recollections on the _Half-Blood Prince_ and prayed that she wasn't overdoing it with conversation. Henry, though, would get so lost in telling her about the book that he didn't notice her anxiety at all, the tentative way she asked him questions or how she stole moments to just watch him. She could see Emma and Neal in him, undoubtedly, but she mostly saw herself in him. His hands moved expressively while he talked, much in the same way that hers do when she is lost in conversation. The rhythm of his words sounded all too familiar to her. They spoke on the same beats and found humor in the same things. She let herself forget for a moment that he didn't remember staying up all night finishing _The Half-Blood Prince_ together; she just enjoyed the sound of his voice and felt for a moment that she was whole again.

"So, whereto now? Can I make some kind of decree or give someone a speeding ticket?" He kept a straight face, knowing neither was likely but still willing to give either a try.

Regina finished the last sip of her coffee, a drop falling down her chin when she laughed at his request. "I let the police department handle speeding tickets, but the decree might be worth a shot," she winked.

After making sure Emma was done _super-sleuthing_, the two of them headed to her office. She didn't want to bore him to death, but she did need to finish up a few things before lunch.

"This looks like a room from a magazine," he told her as he looked around her office.

She took a seat at her desk while he plundered through the office, giving special attention to the various trinkets throughout the room.

"You must really like horses."

"I loved them when I was about your age. I rode all the time."

"But not any more," he asked turning to her.

She smiled and held up the papers she was working on, "Not much time for it with all of these to do." It hung in the air, a much deeper story to be told.

"I saved up my allowance once, and I took my mom on a carriage ride through Central Park for her birthday. That's as close to horses as we've been being in the city."

Regina stopped writing, touched—but not surprised—by how thoughtful of a gesture that had been. "Maybe while you are here you can find your way out to the stables. I'm sure you'd love it."

"Well, maybe you could take me."

This time, Regina kept her head down, fighting the threatening tears. She swallowed, "That would be lovely, Henry."

They left it there, but the promise of another day spent together made her heart leap.

A few hours passed, the two of them in the office. He busied himself with the next level on his Gameboy while Regina finished budget reports. The sound of jumping and clashing and animated music filled the room, and to Regina, it was the most wonderful sound she had heard in a year.

She looked at the clock on the wall, "How about we take a break for lunch? Your thumbs must be exhausted from saving the world," she teased.

He shot up from his seat, matching her steps to the diner.

"Hey, mom." Henry noticed Emma sitting at a table with Snow and Charming.

"Hey! So, how's your first day in politics going?"

Regina came over to the table, standing behind Henry.

"It's great. Have you ever been to the Mayor's office? It looks like those rooms from your magazines."

Emma laughed, "You think so? It's definitely dramatic."

Regina rolled her eyes, before taking the seat next to Snow. "Any progress," she asked.

"They found traces of berry on the floor in your office," Snow turned to her while the others were chatting, Henry about his latest level of Zelda.

"Berry? Well, I'm glad the trip didn't prove fruitless," she smirked at her own joke.

"How's the day been?"

Regina sighed, giving Snow a half-hearted smile, "It's been good." Snow patted Regina's arm, knowing it must have been a sublime mix of idyllic and torturous for her.

They ate fairly quickly, and soon, Regina and Henry were left to their own devices again, standing in front of the ice cream counter as promised. Ingrid, the ice cream shop owner, greeted them with a kind smile and commented on how the chill in the air should never discourage someone from indulging in a bit of ice cream.

"Chocolate ice cream in a waffle cone, please," Regina told the woman.

Henry smiled at her again, "You must be psychic!"

She laughed, quickly changing the subject. "Do you want to walk down to the lake? There is a nice park close by."

"Yeah. That sounds great."

They walked along the sidewalk, as they had done many times before. Henry asked about some of the buildings they passed, and Regina pointed out their house along the way. Henry stopped for a moment, taking in the home. She held her breath, again hoping that it would remind him of their life together. He kept staring and looked over the tree in the front yard, the one with the tire swing hanging from it. Regina didn't move; she didn't want to break the trance he was under, but the moment was fleeting. Before she knew it, they were continuing along the path, and she was thanking him for the compliments he paid the house.

Just around the corner, they found the entrance to the park. The lake was eerily busy despite the cool air, geese and ducks populating it. A few people wandered about jogging, walking dogs, or sprawled against a tree reading, but for the better part of their time in the park, it was just the two of them. This was something they had done often when he was young. In fact, his first steps were taken one afternoon as they picnicked by the lake. A duck waddled up to convince Regina to share their meal, and Henry fearlessly toddled toward it. She startled him with her excitement, and when he turned to smile back at her, he fell backward onto the ground. Regina swooped him up in her arms and told him how proud she was of him before setting him firmly back on his feet.

Regina loved being a mother. Every moment they shared together was equally new and exciting for them both. She tried hard to be everything for him that her mother had not been for her. She was kind and patient; she read endless books on parenting, and she filled the house with music and art and new experiences. Most importantly, she showered him in love, attention, and acceptance. They were happy, until suddenly they weren't.

"The ice cream good?"

"Delicious," he told her. "My mom used to take me for gelato in Little Italy, but this is just as good."

"Well, Storybrooke has its own charms. Though, I know it must seem quaint compared to the big city."

"It's nice actually. New York is great, but there's so many people. It can make you feel," he stopped looking for the right word.

"Alone," she finished. She knew what it felt like to feel lonely in a crowd, or better yet, in a castle full of people.

"Yeah," he looked at her thankful to her for completing his sentence.

"Hmm… Yeah. That's the best part a small town. Everybody _knows _everybody. It's like," she thought for a second, hesitant to say, "It's like a big family."

She could see that Henry was considering something she said for a moment, then he started, "Can I tell you something?"

"Sure," Regina tried not to sound too eager.

"I don't think it was just the case that brought my mom to Storybrooke."

She scrambled for words, "Umm… What do you mean?"

"I think she wanted to get out of New York for a while."

"Why, why do you think that?"

"My mom's boyfriend—his name was Walsh—he proposed to her."

"Oh," this was news to Regina. She was honestly a bit surprised, knowing that Snow would have told her if Emma had offered up the news.

"And, two days later, she's taking me out of school for some job in Maine. She wouldn't take a job in Queens if it meant I'd miss school."

Part of Regina felt that she owed Emma; Emma had clearly been a wonderful parent to their son in her absence. She smiled, "What do you think happened?"

"I don't know, but I doubt that we would be here if she had said yes."

"And, how do you feel about it?" She went into what felt natural, mothering him. "Did you like him? This Walsh?"

"I liked how happy he made her. Plus, it might be nice to have more than two place setting during the holidays."

Regina felt for the first time that Henry could possibly feel the void of his missing memories. "I think one day you'll have more family than you know what to do with."

"You think so?"

"I really do," she smiled, and they continued their way down the path.

"Do you have any family here," his question was unexpected, but the obvious next step in their conversation. Her face went a bit white, and her eyes shot to the grassy area near the lake. Regina felt satisfied with how well she had kept her emotions and motherly habits to herself today, but Henry's question shook her.

"Oh, I'm sorry. My mom says that I can be a bit," he searched for the word, "forthright at times. I just saw the tire swing in your yard and wondered."

She quickly found resolve, "Who says that I don't enjoy an occasional swing out there?" Regina smiled, hoping she could pull off sincerity.

"Well, I think you'd be a great mom," he told her in the casual way children sometimes do. Of course, he didn't know quite know the weight of his statement, but he was genuine.

She forced a weak smile, and for the first time that day, she didn't stop herself from reaching out to touch him, placing a hand on his shoulder as if to convince him of her next statement. "That means a lot to me," and she left it at that.

As they made their way back into town, Regina's phone buzzed in her pocket.

"Emma?"

"Something has happened to David. How fast can you get to Granny's?"

She tried to sound composed for Henry's sake, "We're just around the corner. I will see you in a few minutes." She smiled at him, "Your mom needs my help with something, so how about we get you back to Zelda?"

After safely depositing Henry at Granny's, Regina found Emma and Hook waiting for her outside.

"Where is Snow," Regina asked as she sat down in the Bug.

"At the loft. I told her to stay put," Emma said hurriedly.

Emma flew through town, until they come to a break in the trees. They didn't know what they were running in to, but they were all prepared for a fight. This Witch would eventually show her face.

"David? Are you okay?" Emma was the first one to reach him.

He nodded in response, clearly exhausted by whatever happened.

"Well, where is she," Regina asked him.

"It wasn't her."

"Then who was it? You look whiter than a fresh sail," Hook spouted.

"Myself," David told him.

"Come again?"

The pieces fell into place quickly for Regina, "It's the witch. She's toying with us."

"Did you guys find where she might be hiding?"

Hook and Emma looked at one another, "A farmhouse. We think its hers."

"Then, let's end this," David told them with a nod of affirmation from Regina. "Let's send that witch back to Oz."

When Regina made it home late that night, she sat in her study nursing what she felt to be a well-deserved whiskey. She tilted the glass, swirling the liquid around and around. She had not made it into her bedroom to change yet, still in the same clothes she wore throughout the day. She mulled over the day's events, meticulously sorting through the puzzle pieces and working to find their place.

_Rumple was alive. _

Regina couldn't help but feel a bit of pleasure in this knowledge. As much as she shouldn't, she was glad to know he was not dead just yet. But how? She knew better than to seriously ask that question considering the man she had come to know. For better or worse, he would always find a way to survive. Besides, if he were to die, she would want it to be on her terms.

_The Witch. _

She had been hiding in plain site. They still did not know who she was or what she wanted. All Regina knew was that she had Charming's courage. Totems were incredibly powerful, but what could the Wicked Witch be planning with a symbol of courage and a chunk of missing time?

_Henry._

She did the best she could to push his question from her mind, "_Do you have family here?" _She couldn't concentrate on finding the solution if she let herself get lost in the ache she felt. So, she channeled everything she felt, that ache building into rage at this Witch.

Her sleep was even more fitful than usual that night, a medley of experience and perception. She woke several times throughout the night, always going directly back into the image of the darkened halls of her castle. The dreams weren't entirely upsetting, though; she heard unfamiliar voices echoing within the halls, saw mirrors with reflections of her younger self, and images of a standing lion painted on every door. She woke up the next morning even more perplexed than the night before.

Emma called early that next morning, asked Regina to meet her at Granny's before it opened. It felt like they were making progress, and they didn't need to lose momentum now. Regina beat everyone else to the meeting, even Emma. Granny was wiping down tables when she saw Regina walking up to the door.

"Let me guess. My coffee is so good that you can't wait until we open for a cup?" Granny questioned her dryly as she unlocked the door.

"Hardly," was Regina's immediate response, but she held her tongue any further, knowing that the old wolf wouldn't give her a cup if she expounded. "Emma asked me to meet her here." Regina came in and found a seat at one of the tables closest to the kitchen.

Granny soon sat a large cup of coffee on the table and offered an exaggerated, "Your Majesty," sitting down across from the younger woman.

The two sat in silence for a bit focused on their coffee. Regina reprimanded herself for not intentionally delaying her arrival; she should have known Emma would be late.

Regina considered her question for a moment before asking awkwardly, "When you were a wolf, you blacked out? Did you ever dream about things that happened? Maybe, have a dream that felt more like a memory?"

Granny stopped what she was doing. "Occasionally. It's hard to tell though, fact from fiction." She took a long look at the Queen, "Why?"

Before Regina could skillfully avoid Granny's question, the door flung open with Snow and Charming making their way in. She was thankful for the interruption. Within the span of just a few minutes, Hook and Emma both showed up to the diner. As quickly as the conversation began, it was over, and Regina was out the door for the farmhouse.

She knew the place was inundated with dark magic; she could feel it growing stronger as she walked closer to the house. Even for the former Evil Queen, there was an eerie cloud of darkness that shrouded the place; it made goose bumps prickle up on her arms, not from fear but from sheer anticipation. She wanted nothing more than to casually _meet_ this Witch, but Regina could tell the difference between embodied dark magic and residual dark magic. This Witch was long gone. Resigned to her unproductive effort, she turned toward her car, but her steps were interrupted by the sound of movement near the house.

"Show yourself you winged-freak!" She could use a nice sparring match today. Only, it wasn't a flying monkey. The only thing flying was the arrow that nearly took off her head. Her quick reflexes were matched only by her quick temper in the moment. She stood holding the arrow in hand, a man moving from behind her car.

"Apologies, milady. I thought you were the Wicked Witch," he told her.

"And, I thought you were a flying monkey," her tone clearly agitated.

"I do hope my mistake hasn't cost me my head, your majesty," he said as he tipped his head to her.

"So, you know who I am?"

"Your reputation in the Enchanted Forest precedes you." As he made his way to her, she noticed that he was certainly not a flying monkey, the farthest thing from it perhaps.

"I didn't catch your name."

"Robin of Locksley, at your service," he told her, offering his hand.

Instead of giving him the satisfaction, she simply dropped the arrow in his out-stretched hand, "A thief."

"Well since we are tossing around labels, aren't you technically known as the Evil Queen?" He wouldn't be outdone, showing his fiery spirit matched hers.

"I prefer Regina," she conceded. "You think you can bring down the Wicked Witch with sticks?"

"Well, I'm certainly going to try." His naïve gallantry amused her.

"I'm afraid we're too late; she's long gone."

"Well, perhaps she left a trail."

"I was hoping the same thing."

"Well then, you've got yourself a partner," he told her confidently.

She turned toward the house, "I don't remember asking for one."

"You didn't."

He was from the Enchanted Forest; he hadn't lived in Storybrooke spare the last few weeks, yet he was willing to accompany a woman who he knew as the Evil Queen. She was intrigued.

"Just don't get in my way."

"I wouldn't dream of it."

It hit her, hard. Familiarity.

"Have, have we met before?" She couldn't stop herself from asking.

"I doubt I would ever forget meeting you," he smirked. "Unless, of course, it was during that pesky year no one can recall," he mentioned, walking past her. There it was again, familiarity. Only, this time, it was the vestige of tobacco and honey as he passed that pulled her head to the side in curiosity. "All the more reason to find this Witch. Perhaps she can offer insight into our lost memories."

Regina turned to follow Robin into the house, even though she knew it would be a useless endeavor in terms of finding the Witch. She couldn't break the feeling of affinity she felt toward this stranger. She wasn't sure what it was about this man; she couldn't quite put her finger on it, but the way he looked at her startled her. There was no underlying fear, no question of her motives, and she couldn't reason that away as being due to Henry or his experience of her in this town. If she weren't mistaken, he seemed to be quite happy to be near her. It was a strange sensation for Regina. He made his way around the house, looking in each room before making enough space for her to pass in the doorway. Regina stopped their progress in the kitchen, feeling a particularly strong force within the room. Not only had the Witch been here, but she brought Rumple here as well. She could feel his signature on the room as if it were wallpaper.

Regina fumbled through the jars filled with harmless herbs and spices. "Nothing useful here," she offered, trying to work despite the audience. "Hmm… Unfortunately."

"So, none of these contain magical properties?"

"Well, a good witch covers her tracks," she rounded the table, intentionally brushing her shoulder to his in the process, "but a better one can uncover them." He was like a moth to a flame, and not only did she notice, but she was invigorated by it. It had been a long time, if ever, since a man looked at her the way Robin was now. A bold attraction. "We'll find her; just be patient." It would seem they had some unspoken rule to draw this search out as long as possible, neither complaining at the unproductiveness the effort so far. She knew he was continuing to watch her, but she couldn't have predicted what he would say next.

"You know, I've heard many stories about the great and terrible Evil Queen," he started as she filed through the jars, "but from this angle, the _evil _moniker sounds a bit of an overstatement. Bold and audacious, perhaps, but not evil." Regina couldn't stop the smile forcing its way to her lips, and when she turned, he was there, blue eyes locked on her.

She wouldn't let herself fall into them though. She went straight to the only way she knew to respond to compliments, with a queen like voice. "The name served me well. Fear is quite an effective tool." She expected him to back down, to be intimidated by her response, but he bucked tradition. Robin stepped into her, not away from her. Where she expected trepidation, she was met with nerve. She surprised herself at her willingness to allow him into her space, but something about him urged her to remain planted, her lips even subconsciously preparing for a moment of impact. Her heart raced wildly, as the faint smell of tobacco and honey once again flooded her senses. He bypassed her, reaching for a bottle of whiskey on the top shelf. When he pulled back, it was barely enough space to pull the bottle up to her hands.

"What about this? Is this magical?"

It took her a moment, maybe half a moment, to remember he meant the bottle, "Not exactly, but it is a liquid that can conjure courage, give strength, or…" her eyes twinkled a bit, "even act as a love potion of sorts." She was teasing him intentionally at this point. "It's called whiskey, and no, it's not magical, especially the next day."

"Ahh," it fell into place for him, and he grabbed the lingering glasses above her.

"You want to have a drink? Now?"

"Well, in the last few days, we've survived a curse, woken up in an entirely new realm, and forgotten a year of our lives. I'd say we deserve it. Wouldn't you?" By the time he turned to offer her share of the whiskey, Regina made sure every hair was in place and every wrinkle was smoothed away. She smiled girlishly at him, reaching to take the glass from his hand.

Earlier in the day, when she asked Granny about recalling memories, she hadn't expected to receive an answer from an oddly familiar stranger in a farmhouse, but in an instant, fact and fiction dramatically parted ways as her eyes connected with the ink on his wrist. Tinkerbelle, Cora, pixie dust, lion tattoos, and soulmates. This was him. She was standing before the faceless man, her soulmate.

"Is something wrong," he asked.

She did the only thing she knew to do; she ran, leaving him standing in the kitchen with two glasses in hand. She didn't stop to think how ironic it was, and she certainly did not wait around outside to meet with the man whose footsteps she could hear following her out the door. Regina made it to her car, hearing her name being faintly called from the porch of the house, and there was a moment, right before she started the ignition to her car that she hesitated. She looked back, Robin standing at the railing of the porch, and she wondered whether this was some trick of fate or the Witch. Or worse, had she just walked away again from a chance at happiness? Regina turned the key, accepting that this couldn't possibly be real.

If someone asked her, she couldn't tell him or her anything about the drive back into town. It was a blur of forest and tattoos, her mind swirling faster than the car's wheels. When the car came to a stop near Granny's, no one was more surprised at her location than Regina. She sat in the car long enough for the chill from outside to replace the lingering heat from the car's heater. She lost herself in her thoughts, an attempt to make sense of all that had just taken place.

_Was this real?_

Regina's first thought, after the initial shock, was it had to be the Witch's trickery. She had stolen Charming's courage, and maybe this was her next play. Her mother once found out about the fairy's prediction, so maybe this Witch had too. Tinkerbelle clearly had a big mouth.

_Even if it was real, she knew nothing about this man or whether or not she believed Tinkerbelle's ramblings. _

When she was taken to meet her soulmate, Regina was at a point in her life where she was desperate for a chance at happiness. She wanted to believe it was possible, that anything other than her current hell as Queen was possible. Now, life had further beaten into submission, teaching her that hope was weakening. However familiar Robin felt, she didn't know this man, and the likelihood of the prophecy being true was, let's face it, slim to none considering her gambler's luck. It was a risk she wasn't willing to take.

A light knock on the window startled her, the slight jump and the quick inhale as unavoidable proof.

"Henry," she said breathlessly as she rolled down the window.

"Hey, I was wondering if you'd seen my mom," he asked her, oblivious to the moment he just interrupted.

"Umm… She isn't back yet? I thought she would be here."

"No. I asked Granny, but she isn't here. I went fishing with Leroy today, and I wanted to show her some of the pictures."

"Leroy, huh? How was that," Regina asked, but her tone indicated she already knew the answer.

"Fine," he smiled politely, but his raised eyebrows led into, "He's a bit, well, grumpy, but he knows the best fishing spots. Or, so he said."

She laughed a bit at him, again seeing herself in him. "Well, you can show me. I was just headed inside," she lied, but thought of it as a harmless one considering it would buy her a few moments with her son. "I'll get us some hot chocolate, and we can wait for Emma." If anything, Henry was the antidote to her cynicism.

"Sure. Hot chocolate sounds great!" He backed up, letting her out of the car, and they made their way into the diner.

Regina let herself breath in the moment, recognizing the normalcy there was in sitting here with Henry and having hot chocolate. They looked at blurry pictures of fish from the lake and the occasional picture of Leroy mid-sentence. She had to stop herself from telling him she wanted a copy of the picture of him holding up a big fish, but she made a mental note to ask Emma. Regina did her best to be present and soak in her time with Henry, but in the back of her mind was Robin and his lion tattoo.

"Is there a bookstore in town?"

"Of course, albeit a small one, but what book are you looking to buy?" She loved how much he loved reading. When he was young, she thought he would one day be a writer because he loved stories so much.

"_The Deathly Hallows._"

"Oh, you've finished your book already?"

"Yeah. It's my favorite of the series."

"Well, I have a copy at my house. I could bring it to you tomorrow, if you like."

"You don't mind?"

Regina thought of how ironic it was that he would be borrowing his own copy of the book. "Not at all. You said the one you finished is your favorite?" Before today, he always claimed the final two books as his favorites, refusing to choose between them.

"Yeah," he was back to flipping through the pictures on his phone, "I really like the last two books, but I realized that _Half-Blood Prince_ is really when Snape becomes a true hero."

She looked up at him, and he kept going despite his distraction with his phone. "I mean, maybe it is the fact that I know how it ends now, but Snape was really a hero the entire time. I kind of wish he could have had a happy ending, though. He could have done the wrong thing, but he didn't. He kind of deserved a chance at a happy ending, don't you think?" He finally looked up and was met with Regina hanging on his every word.

"Yes. I agree," she smiled, more proud of him than he could ever comprehend.

"I think I am going to head upstairs. I smell like a mixture of fish and Leroy."

Regina laughed again at his wit, "Well, I will bring you that book tomorrow."

"Okay. Thanks again for the hot chocolate," and he was out of the diner and up the stairs.

She'd made the mistake of walking away from happiness before. She'd also been defiant against the possibility, especially after Cora returned from Wonderland. Fear, defiance. Whatever the reason, the only love she had ever been able to hold on to was her son's, and even that was a bumpy road. With the heavy weight of guilt she carried, she wasn't sure she could ever convince herself that she deserved a chance at a happy ending, but Henry, even when he couldn't remember her story, believed that everyone deserved a chance at happiness. Who was she to question his believer's heart?

As she approached the clearing in the woods, her steps were tentative. Even with Henry's unconscious convincing, she was still afraid of who she would find. All Regina knew was that she needed to see for herself if he was real. Was this the man she walked away from all those years ago?

She didn't have a plan and had no intentions of speaking with Robin, but as she neared his camp, she heard the sound of laughter filling the air. It was a small child; she recognized the sound a parent playing with their child. She was careful not to reveal herself at first, peering into their world. A father and son. He lifted the boy high in the air, wild cackles emitting from both of them. She felt somewhat like prey being lured into a trap. Fear still threatened her, reminding her of all the experiences she's had with hope. She took step after step toward him, not noticing the abandonment of the tree line's coverage, enchanted by what she was witnessing. His eyes lifted to her, finally catching sight of Regina. He hugged his son, but his attention was drawn to the woman standing in the forest's edge. His eyes met hers, and she felt as if he could see all of her fear and her hope. Even with the camp standing between them, it felt like an intimate moment between just the two of them; it was the sensation of seeing a close friend across a crowded room. It wasn't his watching that caused her to disappear in a cloud of smoke; it was the gentle smile that broke across his face.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13: How Will I Know

It was well past midnight. She'd given up tossing and turning a long time ago; Regina settled in for another long night of sleeplessness. The house was completely silent aside from the rustle of the trees as the wind blew through her open bedroom window.

She laid spread across the bed, the way you do when you are accustom to sleeping alone. Silk sheets, silk gown. If her mind hadn't been inundated with thoughts of her encounter in the woods, she would likely have enjoyed the comfort of the evening.

She couldn't get the image of him with his son out her mind. She wasn't sure what she had expected to find, but what she saw left her with that lovely, but unnerving feeling of standing on the edge of something glorious. Regina had only felt this way a few times in her life. Once when she climbed from her window in the middle of the night to meet Daniel in the barn, and another time as she drove from Storybrooke to Boston to meet her son for the first time. It was a nervousness in the pit of her stomach, as if she were the bull in the doorway of a shop whose shelves were stocked with priceless china.

She smiled, though, as she thought of him, the way he took her breath away when he smiled across the camp at her.

Regina was shook from her thoughts when her Blackberry danced across the night table, Snow's name flashing across the screen. Regina looked over at the clock, 1:27. _Henry_, she thought and rushed to grab the phone.

"Is everything alright?"

"Regina. I'm sorry to call you so late," Snow answered.

"Is Henry okay?" She pushed down the panic in her voice.

"He's fine," Snow told her, and Regina felt an instant release. "It's Neal."

Regina barely heard the explanation of how or why Neal died. As Snow explained, Regina pull on her clothes, and by the time Snow said goodbye, Regina was half way to the loft. She was motivated not by Neal, but by his son. Her maternal instincts kicked into gear, superseding any rational thought of just how little her presence would mean to him in the moment.

She hastily climbed the stairs, reaching the door and softly knocking. Emma opened the door looking weary.

"Regina." It wasn't a question, more a statement. Regina could tell Emma had half-expected her to knock on the door tonight.

"Umm…" Regina stumbled, looking for the right words, "I'm sorry about Neal, Emma." Emma knew she wasn't here to offer her condolences, but to see Henry.

"Thank you," Emma waited a beat before cutting the tension, "He's asleep upstairs."

"Could I," Regina started, but she was interrupted when Snow pulled the door open past Emma.

"Regina? Here, come in," Snow offered.

The three women eased back into the loft; Regina felt a bit awkward standing there waiting for permission to see her son.

"I just wanted to look in on him," Regina told them in a whisper.

Emma looked as if she wanted to ask her to wait until tomorrow, or maybe she was worried that Henry might wake to find the woman he knew only as the mayor watching him sleep. Regina wasn't able to decipher it in the moment, but Snow didn't give Emma the chance to say no.

"Of course, you can. He's upstairs," Snow gave her a sad smile.

Regina did not hesitate to make her way to the stairs. Henry was a heavy sleeper, so she wasn't worried about waking him. She also knew that this moment she was stealing with him was more for her than it was for him. She need to see that he was alright with her own eyes.

Henry was spread across the bed, much in the same way that she had been when Snow called. He had always been a wild sleeper, taking up more of the bed as a toddler than she thought humanly possible. She sat down on the edge of the bed; her eyes immediately glassed with tears. Regina knew that losing Neal would hurt Henry, even without his memories, and his hurt was her hurt. She had tried for years to protect him from everything the world could throw at him, but she knew now that it wasn't possible. So, she sat there for a few moments, wishing she could soak up the loss he must feel.

She would gladly have stayed there all night watching over him, but after she wiped her tears, she brushed the hair from his eyes and took the risk of kissing his forehead before going downstairs. Never had she felt any risk were so worth the reward.

By the time she came downstairs, Snow had gone to bed. Emma stood at the kitchen counter, nursing a glass of wine. Regina was sure Emma hadn't registered that she was even in the room; she looked as if her mind were in a distant place. Regina stepped closer until Emma snapped from her thoughts.

"Thinking of Neal?"

Emma took a deep breath, placing her glass of wine on the counter to pour more on top of what was left in the glass. The only response she gave Regina was a nod of agreement.

"How'd Henry take the news?" Regina braced herself.

Emma brought a glass out for Regina and filled the glass more full than was probably necessary.

"He was alright. I think he mostly felt cheated out of the chance to really know him. It's hard to tell. Guess he gets that from you and I both."

They mostly drank their wine in silence; Regina eased into the comfort of the moment, just sadly accepting that there was nothing she could say that would help the way Emma felt.

Regina sat the empty wine glass back down on the counter, "Emma, thank you for letting me look in on him."

Regina turned to leave, but Emma stopped her, "I think its me that should be thanking you. Tonight, I saw Henry cry for the first time in a long time, and I thought about the time he fell in the park when he was four, skinned his knee on the sidewalk."

Regina's eyes went down to the floor, knowing exactly the moment to which she was referring.

"You gave me all of your memories with him, didn't you? His first words and his first steps. I can remember it all now, and even though I know I wasn't actually there in the moment, you let me experience it. My memories of him are your memories. I guess I hadn't thought of it until that moment tonight."

Regina didn't know what to say except, "I wanted him to have all of that. I wanted you both to have that."

"Regina, I'm sorry that I ever doubted that you loved him. I don't think I have ever said that."

She was at a loss, so she simply gave a sad smile and headed for the door.

"I'm truly sorry about Neal, Emma," she mustered, hand on the doorknob.

"Me too," Emma replied.

Regina took the long way home that night. She drove down past the cannery and took in the eerie stillness of Storybrooke at this time of the night. She was tempted to park by the water and wait for the sun to come up; she knew there was no sleep to be had for the night, but she merely made loop by the water and headed home. She did not bother going back to bed. She settled on a cup of coffee and a book in her study. She watched the sun come up that morning. The pink and oranges of the early morning sky seemed to renew her in some way. She'd need that strength today during the funeral. It would difficult for her to see Henry today and know she couldn't outright comfort him.

Regina reached the cemetery early. Snow and Emma stood with a few others, waiting for the service to start. Henry, she assumed, would come up with Charming closer to the service time. Emma likely requested, just as she would have if she were in this situation, that Henry only be there when necessary. Regina watched as people filed in. She thought of Rumple and of how, no matter the darkness, this loss would rip him apart. Even in her darkest moment, losing Henry would have been sobering.

"Waiting for your son?"

Regina was startled by his voice. She was a little embarrassed the way she jumped, a leftover side effect of growing up with Cora Mills as a mother.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you."

"You didn't," she lied.

"I wouldn't pass up a glimpse of my boy either if I were in your shoes," Robin told her. She softened at the sympathy she heard in his voice.

"And how exactly do you know about _my shoes_?" Her tone was more ironic than offended.

"Storybrooke has an affinity for sharing news," he smiled.

She heard the putter of Charming's truck before she saw it come over the hill. She was sure her entire demeanor shifted, again embarrassed that Robin seemed to always be the audience when her armor fractured.

Henry climbed from the truck. Charming waited for him to make his way around, ruffling his hair as soon as he reached him. For possibly the first time ever, Regina was thankful for Charming and that he was there for Henry when she couldn't be.

She felt Robin's hand on her shoulder, signaling his intent to walk her up to the service. As much as she was uncomfortable every time the dark ink showed as his arms swung at his sides, she also appreciated the company and his avoidance of needless conversation.

People gathered around the grave, solemnly here to pay their respects. Henry stood alongside Emma. He put on the brave face Regina knew so well. She outright stared at him throughout the service, not caring if anyone noticed. The cricket said a few words, then the shovel passed from person to person. Dirt heaped in small piles atop the casket until Emma nodded to Henry for his turn. Regina's heart broke watching him have to go through such a grown-up motion as raining earth down on his father's casket.

Everyone left the cemetery to seek comfort in Granny's lasagna. Emma mentioned as the service was ending that Neal wouldn't have had it any other way. He loved Granny's lasagna.

Regina debated on whether or not to follow everyone to Granny's. She had work to do; they needed to find this Witch. The tide turned in her mind when she saw Henry standing by the truck waiting for Charming.

When she reached him, she had to stop herself from pulling him into her arms. She opened her mouth to say something, but everything that came to mind was so overtly maternal that it would seem odd to him. She couldn't seem to transcend herself in the moment, and when he turned to see her, they looked at one another for an awkward moment.

"Henry, I'm so sorry about Neal," it was Robin's voice again. Regina was thankful for the interruption this time, though. She assumed he had noticed that she was floundering.

"Oh, did you know him?" Henry asked.

"Yes. As brief as it was, I know that he was a good man who cared for you very much."

Henry offered a weak smile. The Charmings walked over, ready to take Henry to Granny's.

"Madam Mayor?"

Regina's heart leapt when he addressed her.

"Will you be at Granny's?"

"Of course," she told him without hesitation.

"Because I was kind of hoping you'd be able to bring that book by that we talked about."

She could feel everyone's eyes on her, but she didn't care what sort of spectacle she was making under his attention.

"I'll drop by my house along the way."

"Oh, I don't want you to go to any extra trouble," he ceded.

"I'd be happy to, Henry." He had no way of knowing just how happy she'd be to oblige.

Regina watched as the truck drove away. Robin lingered behind her; he'd given her plenty of space with Henry. He seemed to know what she needed even before she knew she needed it.

"So, you will be at Granny's," he asked, attempting to be as nonchalant as possible. Maybe he was embarrassed at having overheard her conversation, or maybe he was a teenager attempting to make sure the girl he liked would be at the party. She didn't know.

He reached for her car door. Regina might have found it gallant if she hadn't reached for it at the same time causing an awkward collision. Robin just bowed his head and smiled at his own clumsiness.

"I'll be there," she told him as she opened her door.

"Well, I suppose I will see you there then."

Regina watched him in her rear-view mirror as he walked back into the woods. She was flooded again with that bothersome hum in the pit of her stomach. He was familiar, but foreign. Both calming and unnerving. Today was not the day to figure out this man with the lion tattoo. Today, her only mission was to deliver a book to its rightful owner.

Regina walked into the diner book-in-hand. Henry lit up when he saw her; she handed it over. She'd ripped out the page that had his name scribbled into the top and carefully thumbed through to make sure she hadn't left anything in the pages during last night's reading. His attention promptly turned back to the Charmings and his hot chocolate. Regina settled herself at the end of the bar.

Her eyes darted as quickly as her thoughts, from Henry to Robin and back again. Both held animated conversations, waving their hands in the midst of stories. Henry laughed as Charming made a joke; Regina tried to hide the smile the sound brought to her face. Again, she was stuck with thankfulness for Charming; it was as unexpected as earlier, but she wouldn't deny it. Robin moved to the bar, tattoo beaming like a spotlight in the dark and blinding Regina.

Tinkerbelle arrived late, or just in time rather to see Robin bring drinks over to Regina.

"It's the lion tattoo," she said much too loudly. "It's what was prophesized. He's your soulmate."

"I know. I saw it yesterday." As much as it had been on her mind, Regina certainly did not want to discuss it aloud.

"And, you didn't tell me?"

"Well, right now I have better things to do than gossip about boys."

Before Tink could offer rebuttle, Robin brought the drinks he ordered over.

Regina could tell he was a bit uncomfortable interrupting them, but he seemed to be a mission.

"Care for a drink?"

Regina cut her eyes at Tink when she snatched the drink up practically before Robin could finish the offer.

"I… umm… I do hope that I didn't upset you yesterday."

Regina was a deer in headlights. She didn't particularly want to discuss yesterday with him. Any of it. She certainly did not want to add fuel to Tink's fire, so she went for her only option. She diverted.

"Oh, have you two met? Robin Hood this is Tinkerbelle. Tinkberbelle, Robin Hood."

"I've been wanting to meet you for a very long time."

Of course, Tink would allude to the exact thing Regina wanted to avoid.

"Umm… No," Regina interrupted. "No, you didn't upset me. I just," her mind grasped for an excuse, "found a clue trail. That needed to be followed. One that didn't lead anywhere."

She lost track if she were talking about the mythical clue trail or if she was talking about the prospects of her prophesized soul mate.

"And, I don't daytime drink," she offered.

"Well, perhaps some evening then." He smiled, but she could see that he was disappointed. Regina instantly regretted how abrupt she was with him. He excused himself and returned to the men he was sitting with earlier.

No sooner than he turned to go, Tinkerbelle again executed both perfect timing and her inability to hold a discreet conversation.

"What was all that about? Didn't you learn anything from the last time you screwed this up? If you had been open to the possibility of love when you first saw him, maybe your life wouldn't have turned out so…" she trailed off, realizing she may have overstepped a bit.

"So what," Regina felt provoked. "How did my _life_ turn out?"

Tink recognized the tone.

"Why am I even bothering," and she left Regina alone.

The entire scene had been rather reactionary on Regina's part. She wasn't proud of how she spoke to Tink, but she also did not appreciate the pressure.

Regina thought of going after Tink to apologize or at least explain that she simply isn't ready, but she did not get the chance.

The door blew open, and the Wicked Witch stepped in.

"My condolences. I'm so sorry I missed the funeral. I can never pass up a wake," she laughed at her own joke. "Did I miss the speeches? Shall I make one? I mean… I am after all responsible," she smiled a sick smile, satisfied with the damage she'd done.

Emma lunged for her, but Snow caught her arm. Regina edged her way to where she could beat the witch to the stairs if she tried anything. Henry had gone up to the room only moments before she blew in. If nothing else, Regina knew she could make it to Henry.

"Emma, no. Too many people would get hurt."

"Oh, listen to your mother. She's right."

Regina rolled her eyes at how patronizing this witch was. She seemed to be completely out for her own amusement.

"Anyone who tries to stop me will have to deal with the Dark One," the witch told them, stepping toward Snow. Charming's hand flew to the baby, and Regina gravitated habitually toward Snow, ready to help protect her.

"I will _not _let you take this baby."

"Oh, don't worry. I'm not here for your baby," she smiled. "Not today anyway."

Regina was growing tired of the theatrics.

"Then why are you here?"

"Now that my cover's blown, I can finally pay a visit to my little sister."

"Who the hell are you talking about?" Regina wasn't intimidated by this witch at all.

"Why you, of course, Regina."

The words rippled through Regina until she could strike them down.

"I'm an only child."

"Cora lied to you, Regina," the witch said it knowing Regina could easily believe her mother would lie about such a thing. "I'm your sister. Half if you want to get technical."

"Why should I believe anything you say?"

"Oh," here again with the self-amusement, "You shouldn't. It's a lot to swallow which is why I've brought a gift to help."

"I don't want a gift from you," Regina laughed, matching theatric for theatric. Two could easily play this game.

"Oh, but you shall have it. You see, my gift to you is this sad, sad day. Use it to dig into our past, Regina. You need to learn the truth, and you must believe it. And then, meet me on Main Street tonight. Say, sundown?"

This was beginning to be fun for Regina. Old habits die hard.

"And then what," she smiled, enthralled with the idea that someone would dare to challenge her.

"Then, I'll destroy you."

"This isn't the Wild West," Regina stepped into her space, but the witch didn't back down.

"No, dear, it's the wicked west, and I want everyone to be there to see the Evil Queen lose."

Now, Regina was amused. "I don't lose."

"Neither do I," she winked. "One of us is about to make history. See ya tonight, sis."

Snow didn't waste any time, "Regina, what is she talking about?"

Regina was seething. Not only did this woman threaten her, but she was toying with her as well.

"I have absolutely no idea, but I wouldn't put it past my mother to keep secrets."

Snow was probably the only person in the room to notice how Regina's shoulders fell a bit with the mention of Cora.

"Here, sit. You could use a drink," Granny told her.

Regina did as she was told. She could in fact use a drink. She could hear Emma and Charming talking behind her, and she was sure she heard some chatter from dwarves and such of how of course this was her fault somehow. Snow just sat down beside her.

"Are you sure Cora never said anything about her," Charming asked. Being peppered with questions made Regina suddenly regret any endearing feelings she'd felt earlier for Charming.

"I think I would remember if my mother had a love child with a scarecrow."

"It doesn't matter if Zelena is your sister or not. She wants you dead. Any idea why," Emma asked.

There it was again. That lingering accusation.

"I never even met her before today."

"It doesn't mean you didn't do something to make her angry," Emma wasn't in the mood to dance around the issue.

Tink chimed in, "You did manage to step on a lot of toes back in our world."

"Well, none of them were green," Regina shot.

"Then there's the missing year," Granny joined, "Maybe you did something then."

Regina felt like she was at the bottom of a dog pile. "Stick to the lasagna, lady. It's starting to sound an awful lot like you're all on her side," she said getting up from her chair.

"Where are you going?"

Regina flung her coat over her shoulders, "To find out exactly what this witch thinks I did to her."

No sooner than Regina closed the door, Snow hopped up from her seat to go after her. As unlikely as an advocate as she would seem on paper, Snow was always the one to follow her even when she was a child.

"Where are you going," Charming asked.

"Where do you think?"

"I'll go with you," Emma told her.

"Just give me a head start," she told her, placing her hand on her daughter's shoulder.

Regina did not have to look back to know Snow was the one coming up behind her. Eventually, Regina stopped on the sidewalk and waited for Snow to catch up.

"Thanks. This baby really slows me down," she smiled.

"What do you think you're doing," Regina asked her.

"I'm going to help you," Snow told her, walking past where Regina stopped and heading toward the vault.

Regina would never be able to shake that image of the little girl staring up at her, begging to join her in whatever she was doing. She bowed in defeat.

"Are you alright?"

"What do you think," Regina cut.

Snow gave her signature "I'm not your enemy" look. There was a kindness in it, reminding Regina that she wasn't alone, but it was also pointed in that Snow was not going to endure the needless abuse.

"I know. I'm sorry. My mother just seems to have a knack for wreaking continued havoc on my life. It's actually impressive at this point."

Regina pushed the vault open. She and Snow descended into the vault.

"Okay. What are we looking for?"

Regina was lost in thought, standing with her hands on her hips and staring at Cora's wardrobe in the corner.

"Regina?"

"I don't know," Regina practically whispered her response, which earned her arm a gentle rub from Snow.

"Let's just start here," Regina told her and motioned toward a set of trunks. They pilfered through Cora's belongings mostly in silence. Snow would stop occasionally to ask Regina if something was helpful, but she knew when and when not to push. Snow knew how hard it must be to look through Cora's things, especially alongside her.

"Regina, is she telling the truth?" Snow finally broke the prolonged silence.

"I don't know. I haven't found anything yet."

"Are you sure that Cora didn't booby-trap her stuff? I mean, I don't think a sleeping curse would be good for the baby."

Regina's demeanor shifted immediately. She stood with a paper in hand. She stared at it for a moment before opening it. Snow could tell it was something she was familiar with.

Emma started speaking as soon as her foot hit the first step of the vault, "David, Belle, and Tink are locking down Main Street just in case this fight actually happens."

Neither of the women were particularly interested in what Emma was saying, both focused on the paper Regina held in her hands.

"Regina, did you find something?" Snow knew the answer to her question before she asked it.

"A letter."

"What does it say," Emma asked.

Regina let out a long sigh, "Zelena is my sister."

Both Snow and Emma were full of questions.

"Don't worry about it," Regina slammed the trunk shut, "This is my fight, and I've got it handled." She brushed past them. She tried to blink the tears from her eyes so they wouldn't see her crying. She shoved the letter into her pocket, holding tightly to it as she walked into the forest. She wasn't looking for any spot in particular, but she blindly walked amongst the trees as if she could outrun her childhood. She walked and walked until she found a clearing and plopped down on a fallen log.

Suddenly, she was eleven years old again, and her mother was tormenting her for sport. In the expanse of her life, there was nothing Regina had fought for more than her mother's love. There was also nothing she'd ever failed so miserably at. She tried to be exactly what her mother wanted her to be, and when she learned she would never be enough, she rebelled.

Regina rubbed the letter between her fingers. Cora left it for her the one time she returned from Wonderland. It had taken Regina months to find it. Cora must have slipped into the spell book the evening Regina spent with that awful suitor. She never questioned back then why she left it for her; the boost she felt when she read Rumple's words didn't necessitate her caring why or how her mother was trying to manipulate her. She reveled in the words; she would have swum in them, bathed in them daily if she could. For someone, especially her teacher, to finally tell her mother she was worthy, it was everything she thought she needed.

As she read the words now, though, they didn't seem to have the same effect they once did. Though she still craved her mother's love, the darkness Rumple implied was no longer comforting to her, and even if it had been, it wasn't about her.

She was pulled from her thoughts unexpectedly by the sound of leaves crunching beneath feet. She was startled and turned expecting to see Zelena, but it wasn't her sister. It was Robin.

She breathed a sigh of relief, but it was quickly replaced by a taste of annoyance.

"We have to stop meeting like this," he seemed as surprised to see her as she was to see him.

"Did the Charmings send you to give me a pep talk? Because, I don't do well with pep talks."

"No. Nothing of the sort. After Zelena's threat, I decided to patrol the woods in case she decided to build the ranks of her simian army."

Regina silently wished he would go away. He was another issue entirely, and today, she could only focus on one life-altering dilemma at a time. Robin didn't go though; in fact, he sat down with her.

"How are you holding up," he asked.

"I'm not a flying monkey if that's what you mean," she didn't put up much of a fight despite the added tension she felt in his presence.

"Are you going to tell me what's in that letter you've been staring at?"

Her eyes shot to him; he must have been watching her for longer than she realized.

"What letter," she said coyly. She'd avoid it if she could; outright lie if it would save her the trouble of delving into it. The trouble was, he held the letter up for her to see. Her hand went to her pocket, finding it empty.

"I'm a pick-pocket by trade. I spent many years learning to rob from magicians," he said smugly. He'd clearly earned the right, though.

She was maddened by his audacity. "You're lucky I'm saving my strength for that witch."

His eyes softened, "I think deep down you want to talk about what's in here."

"Oh really? What makes you think you know me so well?"

"Well for one thing, I'd be chard to a crisp by now if you didn't." His smile cut through any remaining annoyance that his wit hadn't.

"True," she admitted, softening now herself.

"So, can I read it?"

Regina was surprised that he was even asking permission at this point; she wanted to say no, but he was right when he said she needed to talk about it. So, she caved, "I'm not stopping you."

_Cora, dear,_

_I've finally got my hands on your first-born. I never thought I'd find her, did you? Now, I know why. She's the most powerful sorceress I've ever encountered, even more powerful than you. Stunning, in every way._

He glanced up at her, seeing exactly what the writer of this letter must have seen when he described her. He knew already that she was truly stunning in more ways than he could count.

"It's rather complimentary, I'd say. Why is this troubling you?"

Her eyes were glazed with tears, and it would take much more time than they had here today to explain all the reasons why.

"I've seen that letter a hundred times before," she started in what could have been one of the most honest moments of her life. "In my darkest moments, I'd go to it for comfort, for solace, for a boost when I needed it because," she hesitated, her eyes closing with the weight of the truth. Tears fell then. "Because I always thought it was about me."

He then realized the importance of the letter.

"It's about Zelena," he answered.

The anger returned to Regina's face, "Rumple thinks she's more powerful than I am."

"Why care what that imp thinks?" He seemed to let the fact enrage him a bit as well.

"Because if the man who taught me _everything _I know about magic thinks she is stronger than I am, then there is no way I can win this fight."

Her teary eyes bored a hole in him, and she wouldn't relent. He reached out for her hand subconsciously, "I refuse to believe that." His thumb traced across her fingers, but just before they got too comfortable, he let her hand go.

"Rumple might think your sister is more powerful, but battles are often about intelligence. Surely there is a magical item, some sort of protection you could take with you."

Regina wiped the tears from her cheeks, took a deep breath, and went straight into developing a strategy. Robin was right. Even if Zelena was more powerful, Regina no doubt had a much greater knowledge of magic.

Then, it came to her, "Maybe it isn't taking something along, but leaving something behind."

Robin looked at her, puzzled. She did not attempt to explain, and when he saw her hand delve into her own chest, he was astounded. "Regina, what are you doing?"

The grimace on her face let him know that whatever she was doing was incredibly painful. He'd heard tales of this, but he had never seen it with his own eyes. He certainly never imagined a person ripping his or her own heart out.

She wasted no time pulling her heart from her chest. She took a long look at it, shrinking back a bit when she saw just how much darkness swirled within it. Now was no time to be embarrassed, though. They didn't have time for it.

"It needs to be well-hidden."

"What? Here in the forest?"

"Robin, I'll need you to stay here and guard my heart while I handle my sister."

He didn't quite understand this plan, but he trusted her instincts. "Of course. Anything," he told her.

She knew he meant it. Either because he was a man of complete honor or because he seemed to appreciate her in some way, or maybe both, she knew he would protect her heart with his life if need be.

They walked deeper into the woods. Robin helped her find a proper position that both provided him with cover as well as a well-camouflaged place for her heart to be hidden.

"Shouldn't we wrap it in something," he asked, stopping her from placing her bare heart on the ground.

"Trust me," she told him rotating her heart in her hands, "it can handle a bit of dirt."

She stood and quickly came to terms with how intimate of a moment has just transpired between the two of them.

"Robin, if I don't come back…"

"You will."

She smiled, thinking him naïve. "But if I don't…"

He reached for her hand again, "But you will come back." His face held confidence, not naiveté. The sun was falling from the sky. She took a deep breath and turned to go face her sister.

Things didn't go quite as planned. Regina brushed the glass from her arms; she could hear Snow calling her name from the bottom of the clock tower. She was fairly satisfied with herself despite being thrown across town. It turns out that intelligence was more potent than power this round. Now, Regina knew that her sister wanted her heart.

"Are you alright," Emma yelled from the elevator.

"I'm still alive, aren't I?"

"When Gold disappeared, so we thought that meant…" Charming started, helping Regina up in the process.

"She defeated me? Hardly."

"What," Snow asked.

"Well, don't act so surprised. As it turns out, Zelena wanted my heart. It's a good thing I wasn't stupid enough to bring it with me."

"Any idea why she wants it," Charming tried to piece it all together.

"Well, she got your courage and wants my heart. Those are ingredients."

Emma looked surprised, "For what? A curse?"

"We're already in Storybrooke. We've lost our memories. What more could she do to us," Snow sounded truly afraid of the possibilities.

"I don't know, but we will find out soon enough. She won't stop until she gets what she wants or unless we stop her," Regina assured them.

"How do you know," Emma asked.

"Because," Regina said, "She's a Mills."

Regina did her best to not cringe as she walked down the stairs and onto the street. The last thing she wanted in the moment was to have Snow fussing any further over her or her injuries. Regina didn't waste time standing with the Charmings. She split from the group and headed for the tree line.

"Where are you going," Snow asked her.

Regina looked at her, wordlessly making the point that she shouldn't ask too many questions of her right now.

"I'll be fine. Zelena is in for the night licking her wounds."

Snow wasn't particularly happy with her answer, but she knew not to press her any further.

Regina walked as briskly as she could manage considering the cuts and bruises she hadn't bothered to heal yet. She checked for the landmarks she had memorized on her way out of the forest. She passed the log where she and Robin spoke earlier, the stream he helped her cross, and finally she could see the place they'd hidden her heart. The beam of the flashlight searched for Robin, but she heard him speak before she could see him.

"Did the plan work," his eyes grazed over her, looking for any damage the witch might have done.

"That depends. Is it still here?"

"Right where you left it," Robin reassured her and moved to pull her heart from its hiding place.

"Well then, it worked," she sounded relieved. "I just needed to find the one thing that Zelena didn't."

"And what exactly was that?"

Regina eyed his tattoo that was on full display as he held her heart out to her.

"My heartless mother," she admitted.

Robin didn't ask anything more of her about her mother. He assumed those scars must run incredibly deep.

"My sister was right about one thing though," she continued, "she said that I don't always realize what I have right in front of me."

He stood, meeting her eyes, "What's that?"

Even in the darkness of the night, his eyes shone blue. There were many things Regina wanted to say, but she danced around them exquisitely. "Just that I didn't always appreciate things." He looked at her, hanging on her every word. In a split second, she made a decision. Regina reached out for his hand and placed the bag holding her heart in it. She held him there, close to her and tried to convey through the action everything she felt.

"Would you mind holding on to this for a bit longer?"

He was genuinely surprised. Asking him to protect her heart out of necessity was one understandable, but she was making a choice to trust him fully and completely, not out of need but want.

"You'd really trust something so valuable to a common thief like me?"

She still held his hand in hers, "You can't steal something that has been given to you."

He wanted to kiss her, she knew. He would have had she not turned to leave when she did. She wasn't ashamed of the metaphor, giving her heart to him. The truth was that it was much easier to literally give her heart to him than it was to let him into her world. He was there, though. He was knocking on the door, and she was ever so tempted to let him in.

He saw her walking away. His mind reached for something to say. Regina could practically hear his wheels turning, and she felt more comfortable. She was in control again.

"You still owe me that drink."

She smiled. She had forgotten how pleasant being pursued could be.

"Yes. I suppose I do," she offered, never turning back.


End file.
